


Mithridatism

by EmeraldsAndAmethyst



Category: Nova (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon 2012)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blood and Violence, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Evil Peter Parker, Evil Sam Alexander, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV First Person, Secret Identity, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:07:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 47,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldsAndAmethyst/pseuds/EmeraldsAndAmethyst
Summary: What's up? Notorious super villain Spider-Man here! Man, my life is a trip, and if you'd told me just yesterday that I'd date that jumped up glowstick Nova then I'd have cheerfully stabbed your spleen. But in typical Parker luck I've managed to accidentally fall head over heels in love with the jerk in my attempt at turning him evil. Go fucking figure.
Relationships: Sam Alexander/Peter Parker
Comments: 15
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Toxic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6660673) by [EmeraldsAndAmethyst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldsAndAmethyst/pseuds/EmeraldsAndAmethyst). 



> So my story Toxic is an RP between me and a dearest friend, straight up copy pasted. This tale you're reading now is our attempt at making that RP into an actual narratively cohesive story. Everything is from Peter's perspective in first person, and while it might start off the same... Well, the changes needed to make it a good tale instead of a fun RP session ought to give you some surprises even if you've read Toxic. Oh and for various reasons Peter goes by Spider-Man instead of the other name from Toxic.  
> Also if you don't know, Sam and Peter in USM are about the same age so there's no appreciable age gap between them. And they're both in their early twenties.

What’s up, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man here!

Tonight I've got a mission. Corporate espionage with a side of grand theft. I need time though, and if I know my archenemy, which I do, then I'll need to make a distraction. I swing through crowded midtown streets and pose for pics. Photobombs mostly, but a few with my fans for funsies. Nova follows my tags and the fastest, well, second fastest way, really. The fastest is blowing something up. Anyways, this will get him on my fake trail fast. And it's fun, too!

But about six minutes of social media hoeing is all I do. I'd blabbed about a fake route, so I start swinging it. But then I'm ghosting everyone and sneaking my way to my target as boring Peter Parker. One costume change later and Spidey is on the job. My custom spider alarm jammers make short work of the security system on my chosen entrance window. And despite being the city's, the state's, and the nation's most wanted fugitive no one ever puts security sensors on the ceilings.

Oh well. I stick my goober in the USB slot and wait. And wait. 

And.

Wait.

Good fucking thing I'm a spider. Sheesh. But **finally** , the computer unlocks and I begin the download. The system isn't state of the art but the data I need isn't videos so it's fast. I take my goober, lock the computer and start having fun.

Well, I spider crawl my way over to the research labs and **then** I start having fun! Only, I've barely caused any havoc before my spideysense tingles. It's unpleasant, but not urgent. Damn, probably means I've been found out. I almost hope it's Nova. Fighting in tight spaces like these labs is all to **my** advantage. And sure, the unfairly lucky asshole hasn't died from my last two stings but hey, third time's the charm!

I hide myself in a nice corner of the ceiling and wait. I don't have to wait long, Nova it is. The cocky bastard nearly never calls backup in. We're archfoes and he is so damn prideful that he wants to catch me all on his own. It's adorable, flattering and lets me get the advantage of him when he's on solo patrols. He's probably already found me using his totally cheating helmet so I decide to taunt him.

"Hey there, Firefly. What's a cute little bug like you doing in a dirty place like this?" I say. I can't manage much menace with Nova trying to hide while hovering. He glows blue-white for fuck's sake! There's no point in my hiding, anyway. His fucking bucket let's him see me no matter the lighting. It's literally the worst, ugh.

But Nova tries to tackle me, or something up close. I'm genuinely surprised and barely dodge. Nova hates getting in close. I wonder why he's in such a rush.

"Don't you know spiders eat little bugs like you?" I quip. Nova acts like he doesn't know if I'm joking at that, he shudders so dramatically. 

"You have to catch me first, bug breath!" Nova snarls. He's really raring to go tonight. I wonder again about what's got his suit in a twist, but I'll likely never know.

My shoulder devil cackles with villainous glee. My pitiful shoulder angel tries an old, useless line about **responsibility,** of all things. I shake them both away with a toss of my head. 

Honestly? This right here is why Nova is so **fun**. I really enjoy fighting him more than most other heroes. Johnny Storm is also a real blast to fight, as long as it's one on one. What can I say? I like it hot! I shoot a webline at him just to fuck with him. I call out, "Aww are we playing tag? You're it Sunshine! Come and get me!"

He's fast. I've gotta pay attention or I'll definitely regret it. And now that he's not being absurd by trying to hide, as if he could! Anyway now that he's not hiding he's so bright to look at up close that it gives my lenses trouble blocking the light.

Nova grabs the web line and yanks me to his fist. The bastard connects with all the force of a jet engine and barks out, "Tag, freak! You're it!" 

Getting punched by Nova has the nasty effect of actually hurting. Like a lot. It sucks. Big time. But I'm at the advantage! Nova flicked his hand to shake off my webline but I've reworked my webshooters and webfluid and **this** web is extra sticky.

I catch Nova off guard when I pull him forward by a webline he hadn't thought was still on him. His follow through is fucked and I land a good, solid kick to his gut, trying for the kidneys. He grunts and I laugh and taunt him, "You like to play rough huh? I like it!" 

"You would!" Nova's banter is always so precious. He tries **so hard** but he's frankly terrible at it. He twists away from my follow up strike and I pop my envenomating wrist spikes, my stingers.

"Yeah, yeah. How's this for rough?" I lunge, aiming for the squishy bits. Alas, the squishy bits don't stay put and I miss. No matter. Nova's having a bit of trouble with my special sticky web. 

"Go _skwark_ yourself!" Nova offers, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. He usually uses what I assume is fuck. This one is a rarer one, means he's real stressed out. More than fighting me usually gets him. Irrational jealousy races through me. At his continued failure to get off the web line he says "You've been busy, when'd you change it up?"

He's also busy dodging me almost absently but he noticed my efforts and I'm delighted. No one else pays that much attention to me! Nova manages to get his hands stuck together. I grin under my mask.

"I'm flattered! You noticed, oh wow. Careful you'll give a guy ideas, pointing out my new web fluid," I croon. I'm on him in an instant, but I keep my stingers away. He's so much fun and in the heat of the moment I'd rather keep fighting than end it quick. "Also _skwark_? What's that mean in moon language space boy? Don't worry about keeping it PG, our audience is supposed to be legal!"

"It means you're a mother _flark’ng_ freak that needs to _flark’ng_ stop!" Nova snaps back, burning hot enough to sting me through the suit. Well, that's one way to get rid of it, I guess. I have to back off though and I don't like doing that. Then he tilts his head and looks around. "Also, there's no one here and I'm pretty sure you jammed the security so what the flark are you even doing?" 

**This** is why Nova is my archenemy. He's a dense, stubborn do-gooder that knows **which** questions to ask to find the right answers. This is getting tiresome. I hiss and growl out "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but those names made me frown real big under my mask. You can't see it, but ouch. That hurts me Twinkle Toes." 

"Aw, poor Spidey. What say you come back with me? I've got a real nice room waiting for you with your name on it and everything!" Nova calls. I go for him again and just barely manage to dodge his punch. Fuck! His stupid energy field or what the fuck ever didn't oblige me and it fucking burns where his fist had missed.

"Mmm, you wanna take me to a nice room, huh? You propositioning me?" I purr, I take the pain as quietly as possible. Can't let Nova know I'm hurting. "Well... you aren't my usual type, but you do have a nice enough ass..."

I get his legs and try to drive him into the floor, **through** the floor if I'm lucky. Dent his pretty little helmet in a miracle maybe. 

"Argh, just stay still you perv! _Flark_!" Nova twists and kicks. He makes a real valiant effort to escape me but I'm hanging on spider strong and spider sticking to him, too. We've moved enough that instead of the floor I was aiming for I smash him into, and through some cabinetry. Specimens scatter and instruments shatter. When the asshole's vac suit engages I scramble away lickety split.

“Heh. Naughty Nova, you tripped acid. And look at what a mess you made," I laugh, then can't resist the jab. "Destruction of property is a crime you know." 

"It's funny how you know you're breaking the law but you keep doing it anyways!" Nova says, voice distorted now. Dang space man. But the little shit manages to grapple me and starts to drop low. My first thought is ' _it's over, Nova is going to murder me and no one will even know that I've won'_ because I've made him kill someone! Even if it's me. But he freezes before it's more than a wild thought. He must have realized whatever he'd planned was gonna kill me via toxic fumes. Instead, he knees my gut, but the angle is terrible and it's unpleasant yeah, but not his strongest. All the same I don't want none of this. No thank you. I sink a stinger into his kidney, hard as I can. I hit!

Nova grunts at the successful envenomation and his grip on me gets, if anything, stronger. Shit. This isn't good. Then we're rocketing through the roof. I struggle even harder but fail.

"Hey, hold on a sec, I didn't book this flight!" I say with a squeak in Nova's grip. He should be far weaker by now, definitely not able to fly still. Fuck. The air is getting thin and fuckity fuckin fuck.

"You fucking... take us down Sparky! Take us down or we both go splat!" I shriek, shaking the woozy Nova hard.

"Down... down, okay," Nova says, I hear his slur even through the stupid suit's external speakers. 

"Fuck!" I'm shrieking every curse I know and no few that I'm making up special just for the occasion because he stops glowing and **we're free falling.**

But then we're not! I've never been happier to feel Nova's stupid tingling glow. He slows us down, so out of it that he's trying to reassure me. Idiot.

"Of course he won’t pass out on the ground, but in the air he's out like a fucking light," I grump to no one. Nova sure as fuck isn't hearing me right now. I shove the pesky hero away, twist and shoot a web.

That was way too flashy to not draw in backup, but still... I swing over to the idiot space man's lovely impact crater to gloat. I keep my stupid evil monologue urges in check so much that this is a rare, sweet indulgence.

"Night night Space Prince. Enjoy the come down. Look forward to beating you again Sparky, really, it's been a blast. Make sure you leave a review on Yelp."

Nova's incoherent groan is music to my wicked ears. I pat his stupid helmet with embarrassing fondness. It'd been a good fight, and running against him is never a guaranteed win.

I slap a 'courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Spider-man' stickie note to his helmet, give a few stupid onlookers a jaunty salute and scram.

Days like this are why I just fucking love being Spider-Man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really where the remixing-novelization begins. So sorry not sorry I guess to anyone wanting the exact same tale but from Peter's 1st person POV

Man, it's always good being Spider-Man. I'm swinging through the city waving at my fans.

"Local hero Spider-Man falsely accused of arson! Those lazy, no good, government thugs calling themselves The Avengers are harassing this noble man! Again!"

I blow a kiss at good ol triple J. So nice having him on my side. Misguided though he is.

"The top offender is that flashy pipsqueak, Nova! That alien menace destroyed half of Horizon Laboratories Incorporated's main research laboratories last night! And he didn't even give this reporter a comment!"

Hah! Man that's music to my ears! I hate that filthy, idiot hero with such a passion it's honestly embarrassing. But I can't stay suited up for long. It's the middle of the day after all, and as annoying as dealing with Sparky, aka Nova, is, dealing with Hulk is even worse. And with Nova out of commission for a while, it'd be The Hulk today. I change out of my suit in an abandoned alley and slide into the press of people unnoticed. My suit is hiding in my backpack, and no one even looks at me. Heh, perfect.

I swipe a way too rich looking asshole's wallet for fun and don't even bother checking what was in it. I toss it down a not that abandoned alley, the poor schmucks in the alley squabble over it. I can't stop grinning. The rush of getting away with it is great. Not anything as great as web swinging, mind, but still. It's good. I make my way through the park next to the library, looking for more easy marks.

There are a few but they're with kids. I'm not gonna ruin some family's day. I'm a villain, yeah, but I'm not a dick! But oh, there's a sad sack of a guy sulking on a bench. He's got some tacos and I  **am** pretty hungry. I imagine just grabbing them as I walk past, ah, classic Spidey. But he is cute enough that I decide I want to see his expression when I take them.

"Man, I could kill for some tacos," I announce as I drop down next to him. He jumps in adorable surprise then looks me over. Nice.

"These tacos aren't worth killing over, not any more. If you're really that hungry you can have them," the guy says. He's cute looking and cute sounding. And running off with his tacos  **now** won't be any fun. I take them and he adds, "they're  _ lingua _ though, ya know, beef tongue."

"Wow, really? Thanks man!" I say back, I don't really give a shit about them being  _ lingua _ . Rude of him to assume I didn't know what it was though! I give this guy a little bit obvious once over. He's not a musclebound meat head but he definitely hits the gym. I act all shy, pushing my glasses up my nose and looking down at the tacos. I eat one and even though it's not piping hot it's still really good.

The guy is looking at me like he can't quite figure me out and I realize that I actually want to fuck him. What a nice surprise.

"Um, sorry, I was starving. My name's Peter," I say, I'm an unfairly good actor and he clearly buys my awkward nerd schtick. Score.

"Eh, it's 'aight. The name 's Sam," Sam says. He's definitely checking me out, but it's not all skeevy. Real subtle.

"Thank you so much for the tacos, Sam! These are seriously so good! I dunno why you wouldn't fight over them," I say, going for painfully earnest and awkward.

Sam shrugs. Apparently that was all he had on that because then he asks me what I'm doing out here. Well, I can't exactly tell him I'm pickpocketing for fun. But this ain't my first rodeo, I've already got an answer.

"Oh! I'm a photographer! It's such a lovely day, I wanted to take some pictures," I lie, easy as anything. I do love snapping pics. I even sell some for fun, especially ones that embarrass super heroes.

"Oh yeah? Like humans of New York kinda pics? Or flowers and  _ schlag _ ?" Sam asks. I'm immediately interested in him. I mean I already was, yes, but now I'm excited for a whole different reason.  _ Schlag  _ is one of those stupid space swears. If Sam knows it then he must work with SHIELD. How sweet and perfect this is! I could kiss him! Instead, I finish eating my taco.

"Sorry, um, actually, I do love taking macro pics of flowers and tiny critters! But that's just for fun, no one buys stuff like that. I'm, oh this is embarrassing," I pretend to be all shy and actually embarrassed, Sam buys it all. Christ what an idiot. Whatever, makes my life even easier. I go on, all cutely fake embarrassed, "I take pictures of celebrities. It's, well, it's the pictures that sell best!" I pretend to be sad and regretful. Sam, the fool, looks so understanding I want to kiss him all over again. I go on, "I wish I'd found some way to sell my real pictures, but, well, I am good at it at least?"

"It's a living, it's chill," Sam replies. Oh, really? He's not all upset over my immoral job? Maybe this can be more than a victory fuck. If he's this chill, maybe I could string him along and pump him for info. Heh, pump. Sam went on, "so, Pete, what do you like to do for fun?"

"Oh! Gosh I love chemistry, really, it's so awesome. Our entire modern lives are all due to chemistry, really, and- oh, um. I'm sorry I get carried away," I say, acting all bashful. That part isn't even a lie. I  **do** get carried away when I'm interested in something. I add, going for adorably awkward, "I also hit the gym. I figured, you know, if I'm gonna be a nerd might as well be a strong one!"

"Good on you for finding your groove, Pete. You look good. I do yoga and cardio myself," Sam says. I feel myself blush at the casual compliment. Ugh how embarrassing. But also? I'd forgotten how fun this is. Acting like I'm only sweet and innocent Peter Parker and taking someone for a ride.

"Yeah, I can tell. You, um, look good too," I tell him.

He looks so pleased, and no little bit sexy, as he beams at me. We flirt a while longer, up until his stomach growls. He looks so cutely embarrassed. I play the awkward nerd card and trip over my words to offer him a meal. He does the dumb politely declining thing but does eventually accept. 

"Great, I'll get you anything you want, my treat," I stand up and brush off my ass and thighs, NY benches are dirty as hell. And if it happens to draw attention to my banging ass, even better.

"Anything?" Sam says, and it does not go unnoticed by me that he's looking at my ass. It's almost embarrassing how easy this is. I look away to hide my smirk, ducking my head a bit to play up a non-existent blush.

"Yeah, anything! It's the least I could do after stealing your food!" I insist. He stands up and I'm a little surprised at him being a bit shorter than me.

"Well, if you're sure, man. But it's gotta be close, I'm kinda meeting my little sister here after school lets out. There's some exhibit here she's nerding out over."

“If you mean the  _ Electron Microscopy|Structures _ exhibit then she’s going to love it! I’ve been a few times. It was pretty fun,” I tell him. I'm not even lying, I'd taken some of my kiddos there. Not literally my kids! I'm not that much of a hoe!

"Figures you'd like that stuff," Sam says, grinning all teasing at me. I imagine his shock and horror at me knifing his gut, but it's just a passing fancy. My red shoulder devil cackles with delight, my lame blue shoulder angel cries sadly. I'm not gonna kill him though, at least not yet.

I lead him to a place nearby that's fast, but it sure isn't cheap. He knows exactly who the chef is and it's surprisingly adorable watching him nerd out over this.

"Are you sure this is cool, man? We can just get some burgers or something, really," Sam says once we're inside.

"After your massive foodie geek out over this chef whose name I still can't remember? No way. Being  _ paparazzo _ scum pays great, I might as well spend this on a cute guy," I say, then I pretend to fumble my words and look anxious, "I, I mean, if that's cool with you Sam? It's been a while since I've gotten to treat a guy to a good time."

Sam definitely catches my innuendo there and he grins all confident and sexy. Nice. I hope he's worth the trouble. I pretend I hadn't meant to be so forward and tilt my head away and bring my arm up to rub the back of my neck, conveniently hiding my lack of blush from him.

"I absolutely love being spoiled. Wish I could  **really** pay you back now, but I gotta be presentable for awkward sibling bonding time," Sam says. His grin is wicked enough that my annoying shoulder devil is intrigued. I imagine Sam cackling over a dying nobody chump and my heart picks up it's pace. Damn, that's a beautiful villain grin. My shoulder angel pleads with me to let him stay 'innocent' like the guy wasn't just telling me he's down to fuck in a semipublic restaurant bathroom. But now I've got a whole new self appointed mission. Turn Sam as evil as me. Or kill him when he refuses. Either or would be good. 

I play up my 'shyness' and step up to the host, ready to get seated. I've been here before, and they take us back immediately to a relatively private table. Once we're seated I make 'shy' eye contact with Sam before looking down at the menu.

“Oh hey, so I just realized I never asked, what do you do for a living? You said you had some work drama right?” I say, pretending I'm embarrassed and trying to change the subject to something less risqué than illicit bathroom rendezvous. Too bad there's no time for a quickie. Ah well.

“It’s kinda confidential stuff. I don’t know if it sounds better or worse to say I got in a major league fight yesterday. But, it’s the kinda thing that happens at my job. Sort of part of my job, really, so it isn’t like I'm into beating up people," Sam says, he looks flustered and I cannot be this lucky. He's a shitty liar, has some 'confidential' job, and knows stupid space swears? Amazing, everything really is coming up Parker. Sam goes on, "This just makes me sound like some kind of adrenaline junky or something. But seriously, it’s just, I kinda didn’t do as well as I’d wanted and I’m mad about it. That's it."

“That sounds rough,” I say, projecting sympathy and compassion. In reality I'm over the moon. Is this naive fool a  **hero** ? Oh how sweet it will be turning him to  **my** side. “I mean… I  **am** a little worried I’m taking some sort of hit man or something to dinner now, but it really does sound like a much harder day than I thought. I figured you were just gonna say you got in a fight with your boss or something!”

“Oh! Oh man! _Díos_ _no_!” Sam looks genuinely distressed. His brilliant green eyes wide with worry.. “I’m no mercenary! I can tell you that much!”

“Heh, well I figured that much,” I laugh. Christ, an idiot like this wouldn't survive his first job. He might not even survive me. “But okay, I guess I’ll trust you not to suddenly kill someone to death with chopsticks while we eat.”

“I will do my best to hold back my savage inner beast and use chopsticks like a civilized human,” Sam says, and yes it's fun and snarky. He even gets a rare, genuine laugh out of me. But using human instead of person or guy. I'm desperately interested in what this guy really does.

We talk some about the menu. It's not important, I honestly couldn't give less of a shit what we eat. It's been so long since I've had someone this fun to talk with. All the other villains aren't really known for their sparkling wit. I'd killed Norman and Olivia years ago. They were way too creepy stalker for me to let live. Talk about your  **obsessions** . Used to be I couldn't turn around without one of them trying to get a hold of my bodily fluids. And the constant nagging to convince me to join them in their evil plots. Yeesh.

I'm all innocent, awkward Peter for Sam. But inside I'm laughing my best villainous laugh. Their deaths are some of the sweetest memories I've got. Well and Flash. He's such a sweetie, so eager to please me. Not that bright, but follows instructions to the letter. Sometimes over the letter but hey, he's the only friend I've got. Poor Flash was so lost after his father had died. How tragic it had been, the abusive fucker burning up in his own gas station. What a loss. Heh.

My shoulder 'pals' give me a prod and I realize that I'd almost missed Sam's playful flirting. Oh, that's fun. Let's do this. I say, "I’m really looking forward to filling you up. See anything you like, Sam?"

"I surely do," Sam says, looking me over with such burning interest that I feel my cheeks getting hot. It's always surprising when someone is genuinely interested in me like this. I blush all the harder when he adds, "I’m looking forward to finally being full.”

He then geeks out over the menu, **again** , but I'm suddenly distracted by the realization that Sam **wants to** **be full**. He wants to bottom for me. Christ that's so fucking hot that, oh, he's just finished gushing about octopus balls. I absolutely have to take the chance to tease, how can I resist?

“ _ Takoyaki _ ? Are those the octopus balls? I appreciate a guy who likes balls in his mouth,” I say, hoping to catch him off guard.

Sam laughs and it's a good, sweet sound. He finally lowers his menu. “Dude, I know I’m awesome but I  **seriously** can  **not** take my little sister to the library smelling like sex.”

“That’s fair,” I say, ducking my head and smiling. “I was more sort of testing a hypothesis anyways. Not that I don’t want to uh, you know, hook up with you. Because I do. Definitely. But I just… dinner is good. And maybe we could, I dunno, do a raincheck on the sex? Maybe go out again for dinner sometime when you don’t have a sibling outing to the library planned?”

“Testing a hypothesis?  _ Flark  _ you're cute. But you've kinda shot yourself in the foot with date night standards, Big Shot."

I pretend to be flustered and Sam doesn't leave me hanging for long. He reaches over the table to hold my hands and says, "I'd really like that. Especially the getting to know each other part."

God, I love this rush. Pretending to be innocent little Peter Parker and taking guys for rides. Heh. Fuck this is going to be good. Anticipation is going to make it even sweeter.

I order one of everything and surprisingly, we both devour it one plate at a time. Huh, usually it's me making excuses over eating so much. I'd just been having a passing fantasy over Sam being a hero. But maybe he is! Oh everything is just getting better and better! I try for normal chit chat, asking about his sister he's going to meet after this.

“Oh gods, she’s thirteen.” Sam says with a dramatic groan and eye roll. “Everything is superheroes  **this** and pop bands  **that** and ‘when can I meet the aliens that hate Nova’ and-” Sam sighs another over the top dramatic sigh again but then smiles all pleased and fond as he adds. “At least she doesn’t put up with any  _ schlag _ from anyone.”

"Hold up, pop bands, and hating on the officially rated cutest hero in N-Y? I’m not seeing the connection.” I say, feigning surprise. But I'm absolutely delighted. It sounds like his sister is halfway on her way to being another villain. If she wasn't so young I'd be thrilled at the chance to raise a protège. 

“Yeah, tell me about it. I got all the awesome genes and she got the nerdy ones,” Sam says with a shrug and another overly fond expression. It makes me feel… well. That's not important. Not his fault I'm a pathetic loser with no family and one friend.

"Seems suspicious. I bet way deep down you're a nerd too, Secret Agent," I say, teasing Sam a bit more naturally then I'd meant. But instead of getting annoyed he grins and seems pleased!

“Yeah, well, she thinks Hulk and,” Sam says with a very less dramatic and much more genuine sigh, “The Agents of SMASH are really cool. At least she isn’t crushing on Storm.”

“Yeah okay, so she has a few  **slight** errors in judgement,” I say. I don't even try to pretend I like those assholes. I'd been smashed too many times by the Agents of SMASH to sell playing along. They're all definitely on my List. Soon as I can depower them or neutralisé their stupid gamma powers they're toast. My thinking doesn't slow down my mouth, and I'm saying. “But at least she seems to like science! And hey, what’s wrong with Johnny Storm? You don’t think he’s dreamy?”

“Really?” Sam says. His expression is great, I love the quirk of his brow and the tilt of his lips. Sam says. “I don’t think he’s dreamy enough to have pictures of his hand in my pants all over the tabloids.”

I laugh, another genuine one. Storm does make for good pics. I've got some even now that I'm waiting to sell at just the right time to cause the most drama in the Fantastic Four's lives. "Okay okay, point made. But Sam, please tell me I'm not lusting over a taken man, you aren't close enough to Johnny for that to be a thing, right?"

"No, no, I'm not dating him. We're not banging either, have no fear Hot Shot. Lust away," Sam says with an unfairly charming leer.

"Oh, oh that's good." I say, projecting relief. Then pretending I just realized it, I say with faux amazement, "you know Johnny Storm!? Like, really know him?"

"Oh, well, yeah. I know him, work with him sometimes. I, ah, I know a bit about cosmic stuff. That's not classified. So, yeah!"

I do some quick recalculations, considering my options. I  **had** been planning on taunting Nova tonight. Having some fun destroying useless bits of the city and pissing off heroes. It's especially sweeter when Nova is off licking his wounds. Nova with his damn impossible recovery from my venom. Nova with his stupid fucking helmet giving him unfair alien bullshit. I viciously hope the asshole is in pain, wherever the hell he is. 

But spending the night with Sam instead… God that could be  **fun** and  **profitable** . He's so terrible at lying, and so eager to share. It's almost laughable, really. But I keep up my awkward nerd act for Sam and dinner goes by in the same vein and I surprise myself by having one of the best times in my life. Well, one of the best  **legal** times, anyways. Sam is genuinely sweet and goofy, not acting it, like me. You can't grift a grifter. At least not me! And Sam knows heroes! Oh this is going to be fun!

We plan our hook up for later this night, then I have an afternoon free for all sorts of wicked villainy. I mostly spend it pickpocketing richly dressed assholes. I'm so good at this shit it's almost starting to lose its fun. My powers give me just, a stupid awesome advantage to this kind of thing. But then it's time to get ready to see Sam and hopefully he's at least tolerably decent in the sack to make pumping him for intel tolerable. I really want to webswing my way nearby his place but it's a pretty sweaty kind of way of getting around. I settle on suiting up and webswinging home. I check my loot for keycards or anything really fun, but it's mostly credit cards, great for getting caught like an amateur, and cash. Score.

A shower and change later I'm texting Sam and on my way. Even though sex has categorically rated from terrible to tolerable for me I'm still all aflutter with adrenaline and anticipation. Sam knows Storm, works for something secret doing cosmic things. He's got to be either SHIELD or something like it! And turning a do-gooder over to the 'dark side' would make a lot of shitty sex worth it. 

I check the rather sad panel of call buzzers and there are just too many Sams here! Rude! But a quick text message clears it up and I'm on my way. I even indulge my spidery urges and wall crawl my way up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I stash my webshooters in the bottom of my bag and double check my hair. Anticipation is warring with the knowledge that I'm here to fuck. Yeah he's hot, but like I said, I'm hoping for tolerable here. My bar might not be high but it's been consistently missed by miles.

Sam greets me wearing the most amazing shirt. It's navy blue with pale blue phosphorescent text declaring 'I glow in the dark' and a radiation symbol. I  **need** this shirt. But first, "Oh. My. God. That shirt is fan-fucking-tastic!"

Sam's laugh is warm and low and makes me feel unasked for fondness. I shake it away. Feelings, gross.

More important, I'm legit radioactive. How did I miss this gem in the gift shop? Helping wrangle my kids no doubt. Ah well, the perils of being a charitable and caring kind of guy. Sam closes the door and locks it. He looks so sweetly embarrassed for a hot minute, so I tease him, "is it true, do you really glow in the dark?"

"Maybe we can find out, huh Big Shot?" Sam says, very sexy sounding and very sexy looking. He's not exactly got me pinned against the door but then he's taking my bag and setting it next to his own. I'm relieved all the same.

"Yeah? Right now?" I ask, letting my voice go low and nervous.

"That's the idea, isn't it?" he responds, smooth as silk. I grab his hips from behind and pull him against me, a neck nibble ought to be a good start. He shivers and moans low encouragement, rocking his ass against me and giving me some friction. I work his neck over and he makes the most gorgeous wrecked noises from just this that I'm getting genuinely interested in more. Then he nearly kills me by saying, "wanna suck your cock. God, been thinking about it all fucking day."

"Yeah?" I say feeling a bit poleaxed. But I keep talking, "I've been thinking about how good you'll feel. You a sweet little bottom, Secret Agent?"

"I can be, Hot Shot," Sam says, agreeable and hot as a burning building. Then he's turned the tables on me, pulling my dick out and down on his knees already.

"Jesus Christ," I gasp, genuinely shocked. I'd been expecting to be the one doing all the work. He goes right for it, too, no hesitation. His mouth is hot and wet and so fucking good. He's really enjoying this too. I can't think of any ulterior motive for him to fake how much fun he's having sucking me off. Not that thinking is particularly easy right now. But as far as he knows I'm just some nerdy paparazzo. I feel something tight I didn't even know was there snap when it really sinks in that this cute, kinda dense, very sweet man wants me. No not just wants me, this man wants to get me off just for fun. 

"Yeah, just like that," I moan. Goddamn if he wants me to feel good I'm more than happy to let him know just how good this feels. He moans and I can't help my hips jerking, just a bit. He moans again so I grab his head and actually mean to do it this time. "Fuck you're so good, Sam."

Just that tiny bit of praise has him doubling down on his amazing blow job and more rough words fall out of me, "yeah, Christ, fuck yeah Sam," and more of the same. But as good as this is, I know I shouldn't come. I have to feign being somewhat normal, no matter how badly I suddenly want to show off my useless sexual endurance I'm not gonna blow my cover. God, I'm gonna blow something though if Sam doesn't stop. That's not in the plan. Regretfully, I pull him off my dick. He looks up at me with an actual pout. I'm sorely tempted to let him finish because Jesus he's gorgeous, spit slicking his pouting lips and clean shaven chin. But no. Plan. I have one. Step one is to pretend to be a totally normal human with no suspicious superhuman endurance.

"Gonna cum if you keep that up, Secret Agent. C'mon, you ain't the only one that's been thinking 'bout sucking cock, let's get comfortable," I tell him. 

"Yeah, sure, c'mon," he grins up at me, then is pulling me to his bed. He pushes me onto it but then steps back. He makes a show of taking off his pants, and his boxers, but I'm impatient. And full of nervous energy, or something, yeah. Being given this kind of attention and show is… good. Yeah it's good, but it's so unfamiliar and strange that I just want to get back to something I know. So I interrupt his sexy little show by pulling him to me and licking a nice wet stripe from root to tip of his gorgeous cock. His hands settle in my hair, gentle and sweet. It's jarring and I hate that being treated softly is  **jarring** but I don't rush. I look up at him, all faux shy and kiss the glistening head of his cock. He's only got eyes for me and it's a wonderful feeling.

I keep up my shy and eager act and Sam watches me with wonder. Like what I'm doing is somehow more stupendous than a blowjob. It's… it's really fucking refreshing actually. His wonder and delight at my act is a rush for all kinds of reasons. But I ignore the affectionate ones and try and focus on the rush of pulling the wool over his eyes. I'm fully hard basically on reflex so I take advantage of it and roll over onto my back. Sam groans out a low and hungry sounding ' _ flark' _ as I keep my mouth on his cock during this position change. He keeps up the soft, needy words while I put on a show for him; stroking my dick in time with my mouth on his cock. But instead of using me to get off, he pulls me off his dick and starts stripping me down to nothing. He's damn near worshipping my body with his hands and mouth and tongue while he does it, too. It feels so good. So fucking good.

"Someone's eager," I say, trying to get these pesky unwanted feelings to go away. 

"Yeah? Sure looks like it, huh," Sam says, kissing my cock as he pulls my pants off. I sprawl all faux innocent under him and he kisses me so sweetly it takes my breath away. I brace for something truly unpleasant but my Spidey Sense stays silent and all that happens is more sweet kisses and gentle frotting. But soon enough Sam rolls away to grab the lube. I can't help the eagerness at fucking him, even though I'm sure he'd just been playing with me. But then he's warming up the lube and stroking me so sweetly all while kissing me so filthy. Christ. He's gonna kill me. I very carefully pull his shirt off. I definitely don't want to accidentally rip such a treasure. Especially since I plan on stealing it when we're done. I don't get a chance to admire him because he's back on me as soon as he's naked. His kisses to my neck are gentle and endless. Like he can't get enough of me. His hand slicking me up feels so deliciously good, I know I'm moaning and muttering a string of nonsense praise and devotion but it's not important. I reach for the dropped lube and warm some up. I'm not gonna look a gift spider in the mandibles, if he's slicking me up I'll get him ready. I barely even tease him, and he's so tight and hot around my finger.

"Peter  _ flark _ , feels so good," Sam groans. God he's so sexy and good and I'm nearly shaking from holding myself back. I force myself to go even slower, making sure he's plenty slick and stretched out for me. The thought,  _ for me _ , fills me with such heady excitement it's damn near intolerable. But finally, I'm satisfied that he's prepped, though finger fucking him senseless would be fun, too. But later.

"You ready for this, Sam?" I ask, we're still on our sides and I let him push me onto my back. Okay, not my fave but I'm usually the bottom. It's bound to be better topping.

Sam sinking down onto my cock is such a gorgeous sight that it takes me too long to process his scars. Three perfect circles. One on his chest, and two lower, one over each kidney. Sam takes me to the hilt and I can't even feel it. I  **know** these scars because  **I made them** . Each is a place where I've tried to kill Nova with my wrist spikes and venom.

Nova.

Sam is Nova.

Nova is a hero. My sworn archnemesis! A puffed up asshole do-gooder too stupid to die when I kill him!

My world falls away, everything suddenly numb. My shoulder devil shrieks in horror, my shoulder angel gasps out  _ 'oh my stars' _ . I know I'm moving my hips, still keeping up with Sam but what should be a bit of fun is… is insane! I'm fucking my enemy! 

I can't look away from him. Three little scars. Barely big enough to notice, really. But each one mine. From my own stingers, hiding in my wrists even now. My wrists right there next to Sam's hips. 

**'** ** _we could kill him_** _'_ croons my devil **_'all those squishy soft internal organs just a wrist flex away. he'd be dead before he could get to his damn helmet'_**

_ 'no please! Please not like this!' _ my angel pleads. For once I actually agree with him. Killing Nova  **now** would be unforgivable. My devil hisses and snarls but it'd just been a thought. A thought that I still can't believe. But really, I should have expected it. Everything had been going so good I'd forgotten my rotten Parker luck.

I move my hand to his chest, ostensibly to feel him up as he fucks himself senseless on me. But I remember this first sting only too well. I'd been aiming for his heart and missed. I'd been so sure I'd killed him, too. He'd been out of commission for weeks. I'm suddenly, stupidly glad I hadn't killed him. Sam is Nova. Sweet, goofy Sam that wears stealth-pun shirts and takes his little sister to see 'nerd shows' even though he doesn't like that stuff. 

Fuck.

I  **can't** kill him now. But he's got no idea who I really am. I suddenly feel skeevy and gross, there's no way Sam, Nova, would want me like this knowing that I'm the notorious villain Spider-Man. We're each other's archnemesis for fuck's sake!

But maybe… maybe I won't have to kill Nova. Maybe there's another way…

God I can't stand seeing those scars right now, so I pull Sam in for a kiss and try to shut my mind up with sex.

It doesn't work.

Sam gives it his best go, I just can't stop thinking about Nova. Not his fault either, far as I know, as anyone knows, Nova's powers are totally from his helmet. His stamina and endurance are pretty damn impressive for a regular old human though.

After, I still feel skeevy even through the afterglow.

I discover Sam is a cuddler. Nova. Nova loves cuddles and soft touches like he's starved for it. I know I'm starved for touch so I give him all the sweetness I can manage. But my mind is even louder. What could have happened to this sweet man to make him so needy for affection. Why the fuck is he content with  **me** giving it to him.

How he could be such a blind, foolish hero?

I trace a path between his scars, my scars, with carefully affected carelessness.  **Nova is mine** . I've marked him all unknowing, making his hiding from me impossible even when he doesn't know he needs to be hiding.

How can I show him the dark?

Sam doesn't sleep yet, though. And after some intolerably great cuddling he starts kissing me again. He's so good at kissing. Good at the other stuff, too. But I'll feel less creepery if I bottom, so I tell him, "does this mean it's my turn to get full?"

He shivers and says, " _ flark _ that's so hot, yeah Pete. Lemme find the lube."

He shows me his back while hunting it down. I realize the scars are on his back, too. Then I feel like an idiot. Of course they are, I was hitting him as hard as I could. My stingers are plenty long enough to stick out of Nova when I tag him. 

I… 

I don't think I can do that to him again. This isn't good. Trust me. I know these things, I'm Spider-Man. I've got plenty of villainy experience here to go by. The next time Nova finds Spider-Man I'm going to be fighting with a handicap he won't have. 

Fuck.

“Someone did a number on you,” I say, quiet. Sam is mine. Marked by me three times. All I've gotta do is lure him over, make him switch sides, and Nova will be mine  **for real** .  **Willingly** . I want this. Fuck, how much I want this is nearly terrifying. Having Nova on my side, doing things  **the right way** . More than nearly anything I want him whole and entire and  **mine** . I want to see the Avengers faces when they realize their own member has turned against them. I imagine Nova floating meekly at my supersuited side, working with me better than he ever did with his old team. My shoulder chibis are in unheard of agreement on this. 

"Comes with the job," Sam says, literally shrugging it off.

How had I gotten so lucky? Instead of saying  **that** , I say, "I'm glad you're still here."

I mean it more than I've ever meant my curses over this very same impossible man. What a contradiction. What a blessing in disguise.

He's found the lube and I take it from him to put on a show. Sam watches me fuck myself open for him so intently that it's **good**. A heady rush of having his entire attention on me, combined with knowing this man is mine more than either of us knew at the start of this. **Mine**. He's stroking his dick to me fingering my own ass and I have the sudden stupid thought rush by that I could ask him to **do anything** to me, for me, **and** **he would**. Anything sexual for right now, but soon enough he's going to **want** to obey me in all things. Once I show him the truth.

I'll tell him I'm Spider-Man, I resolve. When the time is right and my webs are strong enough to keep us together. It eases that itchy, skeevy feeling I'd had since realizing that Sam is Nova. Mind made up, I actually manage to enjoy myself. I don't know why this surprises me, Nova's always doing shit like this. Never being what I expect, despite being predictable. 

He fucks me more soundly than I've ever been fucked. At least, it feels better than it's ever felt before. Even fooling around with Flash hadn't been as good as this. He starts on top, literally topping from the top. I don't bother hiding my stupid grin at the thought. When his sexy talk gets too dark, though I guess 'you'll take it and like it' isn't that dark, really. But I don't like  **any** of that and tell him. He keeps pulling the world away from me. He rolls us over and apologizes so sweetly. Fuck me, I'm in trouble.

"It's okay, wanna make you feel good, just didn't like the phrasing," I reassure him. I think I adore this man. God, he's stellar. Giving me control just like that.

"You feel so good," Sam says, and the rougher dirty talk is replaced by sweet nothings. My withered, evil heart melts even more. Sam tries his best to make me cum first, but I've got an unfair advantage. The proportional endurance of a spider is no match for a mere human, even one as fit and healthy as Nova. We hadn't been using condoms earlier, and we aren't now. I know I'm clean, and if Nova can recover from my insanely lethal venom then he's clean too. Likely why he didn't even suggest them. Cocky bastard. But for the first time the thought is fond instead of furious.

He's gorgeous when he comes. It's surreal. I've had enough time to process and plan and seeing Nova so wrecked with pleasure instead of pain jars me with a level of cognitive dissonance I'd never experienced. I've never had my entire world view so thoroughly fucked before. Which is fair, because I've also never been so literally thoroughly fucked before. It's kind of symmetrical and I like it. I still my hips when Sam literally taps out and I don't have to fake my chagrin. His cum had made the ride slicker and better and I'd gotten a bit carried away. He's grinning up at me in wonder though, so I don't feel too terrible.

"Heh, um, oops?" I say. Not sounding terribly sorry. He's still trembling and trying to catch his breath, I clench my ass around him and then dismount. "Got a little carried away. My bad."

It takes him a while to catch his breath, and when he does it's to say, "you sure did, Hot Shot. It's okay, gimme," a full body shudder over takes him and I can't help my evil grin. He goes on when he recovers, "mmm, gimme a bit and I'll get you off. Unless you wanna fuck my face."

He says it with a grin and maybe he could be playing but, "holy wow. Wow, yeah! That's hot as fuck, Sam."

He's so pleased over this that it's disarmingly precious. I think about fucking him like this, trapping him under me with my cock in his mouth. It's a nice fantasy, but maybe next time. This time, I pull him with me to the edge of the bed and stand up. He's so sweet and pliable that it sends another jolt of cognitive dissonance careening through me. But I'm too tall to fuck his mouth like this, he knows it and looks so pouty and good. Still shivering in pleasure, naked and satisfied but so eager to please. I imagine webbing him up and using him how he'd asked. It's a good fantasy. But I can't. So I grab his pillows and prop him up just enough that this will work. His precious pout changes to eager excitement and, "Jesus Christ your killing me Sam."

Instead of responding he opens his mouth for me without even prompting and I'm having to hold back because  **fuck** . He's so sweet and soft like this, not even a trace of the doggedly obstinate asshole he is in the helmet. This is so much more than incredible sex for me though. Having Nova as mine. God. It's a power rush beyond anything I've ever felt. Better than killing bastards and burning them up, way way better than theft, petty or grand.

"You're so good, so fuckin good, gonna fuck your mouth so good," I know I'm rambling a bunch of stupid nonsense but I don't care. Sam drinks in my praise like a black hole. But I hold his head still as gently as I can. I've got an innocent persona to keep up. Later, maybe, I can indulge my darker side. For now, I enjoy what I've got right in front of me. My archenemy helpless and literally begging me to use him. Needless to say, gonna say it anyway though, I come pretty fast. 

I warn him, pull out of his sweet mouth even, but he makes a thready little sound of  **need** and I'm right back in him. He swallows my load like it's his goddamn mission. I need to sit down. So I sprawl next to him, breathing hard.

As soon as I find my voice again I say, "you're fucking stellar."

Sam eels his way over to me so we're face to face. He's a mess. I'm a mess. And for all the immediate need to run away and maybe shower, I pull him close and tuck his head under my chin. He's perfect.

We must have fallen asleep like that, because I'm suddenly waking up anxious and nearly pop my spikes. But I catch myself and instead assess the situation. Sam's still sleeping, breathing deep and slow. Eyes darting back and forth under his eyelids. He's unconscious in REM sleep, good. I get up and stalk through his apartment and open his bag. Nova's helmet stares back at me. It's dead, no glow from anywhere. I hold it in my hands and  _ nada _ , zilch, nothing. I'd half expected it to zap me. It's just cold, empty metal. I turn it over and stare at the dead crystal in the back of his helmet. It glows when he wears it, even when he isn't flying or glowing on purpose. I could break it, I'm pretty sure. I'm stupid strong like that.

But I don't.

My shoulder pests are quiet. It's kind of nice.

I turn the helmet over and look at it again. I can't resist the drive to monologue, just a bitty bit. I keep it quiet though.

"It's kinda funny, Sunshine, but this morning I would have crushed your dumb helmet without even thinking about it. Don't worry though. I'm not going to do that now, no. I think I've got you all wrong Sparky. You're not as hopeless and lost as I thought. I'll show you how this mess of a planet really works, and we'll fix it together. Nova and Spidey, making it right."

I manage to cut myself off before I really get going. I never monologue during a fight, only to corpses and it's not at all the same; the dead are terrible conversationalists. But so is this stupid helmet. I set it gently back in Sam's bag.

Nova.

I'd finally found the over powered glowstick and instead of killing him like any sensible villain, I'm keeping him alive of a purpose. I sigh and get up. I wash off the worst of the mess from myself. My spider instincts aren't screaming at me to run, the danger they fear is immediately after coming. And I feel… lighter, in a way. For all the literal mess our sex had been, it's left my heart feeling clean.

This is dangerous. More dangerous than a badly planned demolition. More dangerous than hydrofluoric acid.

I carefully arrange Sam in the bed, covers pulled back. He stirs when I wipe him clean but doesn't wake. I toss the dirty cloth at his laundry basket and snuggle up with him. His covers are nice and cozy, sheets stupidly soft and comfy. He clings to me in his sleep and another tension wire I'd never noticed inside me breaks. I don't sleep again right away. I plan, I plot, and for the first time in over a decade, I hope.

###  ….

I wake up alone and it sucks. It always does. But this bed isn't mine. Then everything hits me with enough force that I'm wide awake.

I'm in Nova's bed.

I can hear Sam in the bathroom, but I let him know I'm awake with some teasing. "Uh, hello? Did I get wham bam thank you ma'am ditched?"

"That'd take some doing, considering this is my place," Sam responds. I want to stay snuggled up but I also need to start wooing. Wooing and corrupting.

We do our morning business, then Sam offers the shower. Well. I pull him in with me, what a perfect opportunity for fun  **and** profit. We wash each other off and… and I fucking guess we play around a little bit. Except it's not fooling around, you know. Maybe you don't, I didn't. It's just touching each other and talking about nothing in particular.  **Again** for all you pervs out there, no jacking off or fisting or whatever the fuck two guys do in the shower that ostensibly can't stick themselves to slippery tile and not die a stupid death.

It's… nice.

Yeah.

After we're all fresh and clean, Sam fixes us breakfast. I've been wooing and charming him with nothing terribly suspicious, boring shit about my 'job' and my supposed normal life as Peter Parker. Most of it isn't even lies. I really do volunteer a bit of time to some foster homes, I also donate a lot of my ill gotten gains for the same homes but  **that** is still a secret.  **Obviously** . I really do love photography too, have plenty of cameras and lenses to dick around with; even have a dark room in my closet for when the mood strikes. 

But while he cooks I say something. Fuck if I know what, but it reminds him of a story about this team of aliens that he works with. I idly wonder if they're Nova's space team but then I really pay attention to what he's saying and holy shit. Sam goes on, oblivious to my internal rambling, "so  **obviously** the remoran didn't give over the data crystal and Drax cuts the guy's dorsal fin off just like he said he would and then the other remorans, no joke, have a  _ flarking _ pissing contest for leadership right in the middle of all this! So the Guardians just take the  _ das't _ thing and walk on out!"

I stare at Sam, Nova,  **hero** casually telling me this tale like it's  **hilarious** . 

I must not hide my shock because then he's backpedaling and reassuring me that remorans can grow their dorsal fins back and then says "Okay, wow, that's maybe more messed up than I thought about at the time. Sorry man!"

I laugh, I don't even try to hide my delight. This is the kind of shit I'd expect a  **villain** to share. Fuck, I can't believe this. Is Nova such a shithead to Spidey because he's trying so hard to jam himself into the role The Avengers gave him? The role of chrome plated shiny perfect hero that he must know he's not. Beautiful. Perfect. This is going to be  **so sweet** when I'm done turning him.

"It's okay! It's not that fucked up! I mean, yeah, lil bit fucked up," I tell him with a real grin. "But that's like, schadenfreude yeah? What kinda New Yorker doesn't enjoy a bit of schadenfreude?"

"Sorry anyways," Sam says, all sheepish and adorable. I reassure him, I  **want** more tales like this. I want him to share these stories and piece together what Nova really does when he's off in space. Because it sure as fuck sounds like it's way less pretty and clean than everyone makes it out to be.

"So these Guardians, there's Drax, Nova, and sorry, who else?" I ask, I'm genuinely interested and Sam is just so eager to share. I start to worry about any past flames and what they might know. Or might not even know that they know. I make a mental note to obsessively Google Sam Alexander and figure that out later.

"Oh, yes! The Guardians Of The Galaxy are Nova's other team!" Sam says. He tells me all about his other team. It's clear they're important to him from how happy he is to share. I learn all about the sentient tree prince, Groot. He sounds absolutely fascinating. And Groot's partner, Rocket, " **don't** call him a raccoon! Oh man, he shot at me when I did that the first time we met! It's absolutely not worth it!"

"Are you shitting me right now? A alien not raccoon that will attack anyone that calls him what he looks like? And he's Nova's teammate? That's wild!" I say. I can just imagine weenie teen Nova getting shot at by a little forest critter. This is great!

"Yeah man, seriously wild. But he's actually not the party animal type. That's Star Lord's specialty. He's  **also** alien royalty, but he doesn't act like it at all,  _ flarking _ Star Lord was raised by space pirates," Sam shares. He's setting my plate down in front of me and I kiss him. Everything he's saying is music to my wicked, evil ears. And his kisses are even better. He lingers and before I can decide on eating or kissing he breaks away to turn off the cooktop and eat his own plate of eggs and hash.

It doesn't take much more prompting for Sam to tell me more about his space team. I learn Drax's title is The Destroyer, a definite villain name if I've ever heard one. Mantis sounds nicer than all of them, genuinely nice, but telling Sam this warrants a laugh of really unwarranted proportion.

"Rude!" I exclaim. But I'm laughing and Sam's laughter winding down is nice.

"Yeah, I am. But seriously. Just because someone has class doesn't make them  **nice** ," Sam says.

"True, true," I agree. I definitely notice Sam eyeing me up with something wicked in his eyes. My heart races and I imagine Nova going out hunting human trash with me. Fuck, that'd be so hot. And fun. I'm still eating but Sam sets his plate in the sink and prowls over to me. I make a wordless questioning sound as he nuzzles right on up, hands resting on my thighs. I give my best sexy purring voice and say. "Time for the sausage already?”

"Don't stop on my account, breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Sam says, all teasing and wicked. He feels me up through my briefs, I'm already half hard from anticipation. Anticipation of seeing that wicked grin on him when he's Nova. And, okay,  **yes** , another stellar blow job is pretty exciting, too.

"You're making it kinda hard, Secret Agent," I say, not at all needing to fake my eagerness to feel his mouth on me again. He pulls out my dick with no further warning and I damn near choke when he starts licking and mouthing me to hardness. I rest my hand in his hair and moan. "Oh, fuck yeah. God, is it my birthday or something? Breakfast and a blowjob. Fuck, I'm a lucky boy.”

The feel of his laugh with my dick in his mouth is amazing. I groan more useless commentary as he hums while working me over. But again, my rambling commentary seems to spur him on. So I stop even pretending to care about the food and watch him blow me. He's so gorgeous. I'm pretty sure I've told him so at least twenty times but clearly he loves it.

“Yeah, just like that,” I moan. "Good at cooking and good with your mouth. What can’t you do?”

Sam pretends to answer, teasing me most evilly. I let myself enjoy this, clearly Sam loves oral. And honestly, he's really showing me what I've been missing out on. It's a win-win, really. It takes me a while to catch on that this isn't more foreplay, Sam's really trying to get me to come. I figure, why the fuck not, we both want it. 

"Gonna cum," I groan out in warning. I figure after last night he wants it, I'm still pleasantly surprised that I'm right. He swallows my cum like it's not one of the most disgusting tastes ever. It's a good thing I'm already sitting, Christ.

Sam is resting his head on my lap and watching me with such a familiar smugness that it gets much, much easier seeing Nova in Sam's civilian side. It gets me to wondering what parts of him drive him to even be Nova. And most importantly,  **why** . I'm smiling stupidly back at Sam and I don't even care. He has absolutely every right to be smug right now.

He barely lets me catch my breath before pulling me eagerly back into bed. I laugh, just a bit nervously. I'm much more worried about outing myself as superhuman with my stupid refractory period than I am about Sam doing anything terrible to me. This is the same idiot that was trying to reassure me, Spider-Man, that he, Nova, was gonna rescue me just two days ago.

Jesus, was that only two days ago? It feels like years in the past.

Even if he'd been delirious with my venom in him and maybe didn't realize he'd had Spider-Man while we fell. I'm not worried. I'm definitely not scared. Then he charms me even more, the bastard.

"Can I top you again, Pete? Wanna get you ready for me, too," he asks me. He's so cute and eager that even if I wasn't trying to corrupt him I think I'd agree.

"Yeah, Secret Agent, have your wicked way with me," I tell him. His grin makes me warm and giddy in ways I hadn't felt in too long. My briefs come off and the lube comes out.

**_Infatuation_ ** sneers my devil.

_ Love _ sighs my angel.

Ignoring them both suddenly gets much easier as Sam spreads my legs and instead of lube and fingers on me like I'm expecting, it's his tongue. "Oh fuck! Fuckity fuck fuck, yeah Sam!"

He's as good at this as he is at everything else we've done and I lose myself in it. I've only been rimmed one other time and it'd been fun then, but Flash's awkward fumbling had nothing on Sam's stellar mouth. I've got to be careful not to rip the fucking sheets and soon enough I can't help but beg Sam for more. The bastard doesn't give it to me though. No, he teases me and makes me beg with evil, villainous cruelty. I love it.

When Sam finally lubes me up I don't give him the chance to torment me further. I wrap my legs around him pull him close, he laughs and catches himself with his clean hand on my chest. His sweet words choke off into a moan when I manage to get his dick in me. I can't help my evil grin. Serves him right. Sam kisses the grin off my face and keeps kissing me while I fuck him. I take full advantage of my metahuman endurance and flexibility and Sam is a whining, pleading mess in no time. Fuck, that’s so hot. I want to make him happy, want him to want me again and again. 

“Cum for me Sam, make me yours. Please,” I moan for him. He didn’t need any other encouragement, apparently. He comes and it feels so good. The good kind of possessive and the good kind of full. My mouth is still running on without my brain so I’m sure I’m telling him all about it. 

“Mmm, mine,” Sam says, all breathy and possessive. Again it's good, not smothering or uncomfortable. And after a few minutes of sweet and too good cuddling, Sam seems to have recovered enough for, fuck. Another stellar blowjob. The loss of his softening dick is more than made up for by the wet heat of his stellar mouth. I can’t stop talking, it’s a condition. Hah. But Sam seems to love it, responding to whatever rambling sexy talk I’m saying with even more enthusiasm. I don’t bother trying to make him work for it and come pretty quick. He’s so pleased over it that I’m kinda pleased about it now too. Well you know, more than the rush of orgasm can account for. 

It's as I’m pulling him up for a kiss that my stupid Parker luck happens and something close explodes. Not  **this** building close but like, maybe a block or two away from here. 

Fuck.

Sam is up like a shot, swearing in at least three different languages and looking for where his clothes had gotten to. Fucking fuck. I’m gonna kill whoever had the sheer gall to interrupt me during my bliss. Scheming, not bliss my scheme! I’m seducing and corrupting! But my point still stands, some asshole is about to get a sting they won’t forget. I hope Sam will be okay. How strange it feels, Spider-Man rooting for Nova to succeed. 

“I’m sorry, my job. I gotta go! Will you be okay here?” Sam says, he’s got his boxers on backwards and didn’t bother to fix his shirt so its inside out. Fuck, he’s a disaster and its not annoying or stupid but endearing and adorable. Dammit, I’m so screwed.

“Go, go. I’ll be fine.” I say, trying to be as reassuring as possible. Then seeing him grab the wrong pants point out, “those are mine.” 

He drops them and at least his own pants are on the right way. I kind of want to hold him close and tell him all sorts of sappy shit. This isn’t in the plan. Fuck. Also not the time, I settle for getting up and pulling him into a hug and a kiss, multitasking like a pro here and kissing away the come he hadn’t gotten around to wiping off. Just from watching him dress I bet he’d have run out with it on his face and as hilarious and kind of exciting as that is to think about, I wouldn’t do that to him.

I wouldn’t, actually. I don’t like how soft I’m feeling for Sam. It’s way too dangerous.

“Go. Be safe,” I do my best to look worried, even though I know I’m the most dangerous villain Sam will likely face in New York. Barring Fantastic bullshit or Cosmic shenanigans anyways. 

“You stay safe too. I’ll text if I can,” Sam says, grabbing his bag and running out, slamming the door shut behind him. I’m mildly amazed he got his shoes on the right feet the first try, but well. He’s probably done this so often it's mostly muscle memory. 

I sigh, lock the door and find my clothes. I realize pretty quick that Sam had grabbed my shirt in his rush. Completely inappropriate and unwanted feelings rush through me at the thought of Sam wearing my clothes. Dammit. I straighten the sheets out on the bed, not really making it because it's definitely in need of a wash now but at least making it look mildly presentable. That’s stupid. Who the hell am I even making it for? Ugh. I grab Sam’s shirt and set it out on the bed with the rest of my clothes. I’m going to stretch it to hell but I was gonna steal it anyways. Whatever.

There’s a towel hanging up in the bathroom and its not like sharing this is somehow more gross than the fucking we just did. Standing in the shower it suddenly hits me that Sam must think the explosion is mine. He rushed out on me to what he thought was my damage. Ugh. I bet if he’d known it wasn’t Spider-Man he wouldn’t have been in such a rush. But probably not. He’s such a hero. 

It’s infuriating.

I don’t waste any time. Being alone in Sam’s apartment isn’t as fun as it might have been before I realized he was Nova. Before I decided to seduce and corrupt him to my side. I throw on the clothes I’ve laid out and I am absolutely stretching this shirt way too much. It’s all nipple city up in here, oops. Whatever. I leave Sam a note on his fridge, hopefully he’ll check it soonish. 

_ Hope you're alright secret agent. I'm keeping your shirt hostage so you'll call me again _

__

_ <3 kisses, _

__

_ Pete _

Time to go find a nice scenic alley, change and swing on over to check out my things. Eat a boring meal at home then check on my commitments. Gotta make sure everyones okay.

###  …


	3. Chapter 3

Breaking into banks is laughably easy. This is true for most villains, yes. But for  **me** ? For Spider-Man? It's almost embarrassing for the security department. Now, getting out again with your loot, that  **is** quite a bit trickier. But not for spider-man! I'm here for the safe deposit boxes anyways, deeds and jewelry and all kinds of valuables for my sticky Spidey hands. But I haven't even made it to the correct computer terminal to pop in my goober, not because I've gotten caught, please, don't insult me! But because I've discovered something  **interesting** . You see, there's a discrepancy between the blueprints and reality. Something that doesn't quite make sense.

A secret room.

I'm absolutely getting in it, but this sort of thing takes time. I've got to use my Spidey Sense to figure out the safest way to break in. But I think I've found it. Carefully, I tear apart a Spidey sized hole in the wall. Nothing explodes so I crawl on in.

It's an office. That's… kinda lame, really. But the office has a lot of very interesting looking scientific-ish instruments. It's not a laboratory, not with a giant, hideous desk smack in the middle, next to the wall opposite. And… some alien kinda coffee table and seating area? The table has an ornate looking cage-egg kinda thing. But it's very clearly not from Earth in origin. For one thing, it glows. Not enough to be a lamp either. Weird art piece, I guess.

This is in a bank… is this where SHIELD or maybe actual aliens exchange their space money for earth money?!

Doesn't explain the fun new toys for me though. Oh well. The few paper books are all in some language I've never seen before. There's booby traps near the actual entrance. 

**_Mmm traps,_ ** devil Spidey leers.

_ Hehehe, boobies,  _ angel Spidey giggles.

I sigh to myself and try to ignore them. I check a cabinet to find what look like tablet computers. Score! I web them to my back and keep looting. Only I've gotta stop. My Spidey Sense kicks off and I know someone's found me. Well, not  **me** , it's not sharp enough for that. But finding my spider jammer seems likely. I wait. Most superheroes will go to the money vault. But  **one** superhero knows me much too well to do something so obvious.

The tingling is getting worse, not better. Sam, Nova is here. This… could be a  **good** thing. Real hard to think of him as Nova now, though. Now... what am I going to do about this? I grin to myself and web the fainting couch to the ceiling, sit down on it with one of the books and wait. I pretend to read it while listening to my Spidey sense. It's screaming warning at me but not a get out of the way scream. He's found me then.

“If only Nova was here to read me a bedtime story,” I hum ostensibly to myself.

"Wow, that's not creepy at all," Sam, no Nova, says from the hole I'd made. 

I laugh.

"Well, here's one for you anyways! Once upon a time there was an annoying little spider that couldn’t keep his sticky mitts to himself!" Nova says. He pauses awkwardly and adds, “And along came a Nova to lock the big bad spider up,”

"Oh, I love this one! It's the one that ends with true love's kiss, right?"

Nova is preciously confused and blurts out, "like an honorable Nova could love a killer of innocents!"

“Innocents? Who's been killing innocents? I think you've got the wrong spider,” I say, starting off cheerful. I can't help the way my voice lowers when I say, "cause none of those fuckers were even close."

Sam says some stock hero bullshit but something in the way he says it makes me think I can get my stingers in and pry. So of course I do just that.

“Dunno Spark Plug, how bout you try to write me an essay on all the reasons not to believe me." I say, finishing with a cackle. God, how it  **galls** me that anyone thinks those bastards could have been  **innocent** . My kills are woefully under publicized, the arson and explosions are what make the news. I'm usually not sloppy enough to get ID'd for my robberies, despite current circumstances. "Meanwhile I'll take this sparkly new toy and go play,” I declare, thwipping the glowing centerpiece my way. Nova isn't fast enough, which I can't help but needle him about. He's literally the human rocket! "Too slow!"

"Do you even know what you're stealing, Webhead" Nova says, exasperated.

“Of course I do! It's a… space thingummy! A Kree queen’s crown jewel? Ooh, ooh A Martians pet rock!” I peek over the cover of the book still open. Sam looks so mad! Yikes! Nova, Nova looks so mad. This must be something more than a pretty thing. “Kay, I gotta admit I lied. No idea what this thing is. How about you enlighten me, Firefly?”

"Look, Webs, it's like.  _ Schlag _ ! I know you're gonna try and figure it out and if you  _ flark _ up you'll blow up yourself  **and** half of North America too!” Nova says and ends on a growl. His glow is getting whiter, but not hotter. Damn. He's real pissed. That's not what I want! Ugh. Why does Nova have to ruin my fun? I sigh dramatically. “Fiiiiiine, Moonboy, I don't need something only good for exploding. I've got enough explodey things. Hows about we strike a deal instead? You let me leave with the money and rich dude loot I came here to liberate, and I'll give you your pet rock."

Nova stares at me in surprise. Rude! But his glow is back to normal. I wave a little white flag and something in Sam's body language changes. He's going to accept! I just know it!

“You know, if I was an asshole space cop I could kill you and claim self defense. White means death, out there,” Nova waves up, towards outer space. I swoon. Really on the inside and over the top on the outside. The edges of his lips twitch and I clutch my chest. Fuck, he's great. “But I’m not, so I won’t. Counter offer, I take all the big boom makers outta this questionably legal room and you get what’s left.”

“You sure you aren't an asshole space cop, because from here…” I do my best to convey my pout through my mask. I web the book to my back with the rest of the loot and play with the whatever it is. No Spidey sense so this must not be what Nova is worried about. He just looks cutely annoyed right now, anyways. I go on, “Ughhh. See, here's the thing, My Little Lightbulb. I know nothing about space junk. And a spider like me has needs, y’know? And currently those needs are  **money** . Now, I figure this stuff might catch me a pretty penny but I have no guarantee. See how this deal could leave me in a bit of a lurch?”

I'm honestly surprised that Nova hasn't pounced on me and started brawling yet. He loves a good fight just as much as I do. Must still stuck to get my venom in him, even with his unfair helmet assisted healing. Then Nova surprises me. He says, “Seriously? I thought you were a super villain? How can you not have found New York’s intergalactic black market yet? Please, Webs, tell me I haven’t overestimated you that badly."

“I told you, space stuff isn't my thing. But fine. Offer accepted," I say. That  **does** make sense. I hadn't even considered it before, my bad. But now that I know it exists I've got a lot of ways to find it. "See, wasn't that easy? We should have nice lil' chats like this more often Space Cadet.”

Nova frowns at me like he can't believe it's this easy. That's fair. I probably would have been much more of a little shit before I'd really gotten to know him. Kind of hard to hate him when he's such a great cuddler.

“Really? You’re not gonna,” he twists his wrist in the way I do to deploy my stingers. It warms something I hadn't even known had been cold, way down deep inside me. The level of attention he gives me even when we aren't banging makes me almost more satisfied, really. He goes on to add, “Cause if you  **do** I will most definitely hunt you down when I wake up and drop you off in the ‘nicest’ chitauri gulag I can find." 

He doesn't give me time to respond. 

“Set the Power Gem on this table here,” Nova demands, pointing at the table I had so recently liberated it from. “This furniture is all from off planet, by the way. No sudden movements, Webs.”

“Ooh, I always wanted space furniture! Think there's a space bar anywhere in here?” I crawl over on the ceiling. People tend to find that more disturbing, not that Nova ever seems to care. It feels good though, moving like that. Natural. Despite how unnatural it looks to everyone else. Nova waits for me, I cock my head and examine the table. “Dunno, though. Looks an awful lot like IKEA to me. Don't tell me Swedish furniture is really from space?!”

"Haha, IKEA jokes," Nova says, sounding bored. Rude!

I spider my way closer and Sam doesn't back down an inch. Instead of being pissed at him like I would have been before, I'm absurdly proud and fond. Then he ruins it by looking over at the damn desk instead of sensibly keeping his eyes on me!

“Really? Secret drawers? How old is this  _ schlag _ bait, anyways?” he mutters, glaring at the desk! What the hell?! I frown under my mask and drop the stupid thing. “This can't have been smugglers...” 

“Excuse me, I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me? What's so important that you're turning your back on a super villain who has bad-time spikey bits, hmm?” I huff. We were almost, sort of, having a moment! I even dropped the not as evil as you think hint and everything! I have half a mind to sting his annoying butt just for spite. It's just a fancy. I can't put  **Sam** through that again. So I pout as obviously as I can behind the mask and cross my arms. I draw the line at stamping my foot, I'm not a child.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm an idiot. Look, we both know if you wanted a fight we’d already be wrecking the place,” Nova says. He floats over to the desk, frowning at it like it has personally offended him.

"Aw, Sunshine! You know me so well, I'm flattered!" I coo at him with over the top sweetness. 

Sam, no Nova dammit. Nova contorts himself in the air to look at the desk upside down like a weirdo. Not like a normal weirdo like me, either! He totally ignores my banter and says, “What a nasty piece of work. Some alien  **really** did not want anyone to open this drawer.”

“Well this  **is** a pretty  **stellar** room. Anything in that desk has gotta be pretty  **out of this world** if you know what I mean. Makes sense they'd protect it,” I know I should leave now, start spidering away my loot and getting away from trouble. “So how do we open it without getting killed to death?”

I know that, yes. But curiosity killed the cat, not the spider. It's not until Sam's quiet chuckle that I remember I used that silly phrasing on our date. As our civilian selves.  **Fuck** .

"That  **is** the question, isn't it? Good thing  **I'm** here, you'd probably trip it just for fun otherwise," Nova says. He's got his head and arms under the desk, diffusing the trap or whatever, no doubt. But he's still floating upside down and damn. I know I'm always teasing Nova about his ass being outta this world but I can't help but ogle. Not like he can see me right now anyways. I stalk over on the ceiling to see if I can get a better view of what he's actually doing.

"Watch it, Webhead. You  _ flark _ with me now and we both get fucked," he tells me. He sounds so serious and no nonsense. It's kinda hot.

"Just trying to look at something that isn't your stellar junk, Sparkplug," I quip.

"Yeah, yeah. You betray me and I'll make you wish you burned up in one of your stupid fires, Spider-Man," Nova says. Casually confident in an extremely  **not** heroic way.

"Oh gosh! Superhero Nova threatening murder! Or torture? Or torture and murder?" I gasp with faux scandal, then add all cheeky, "that last one's my fave, b t dubs."

"Please, like the Avengers count aliens as murder," Nova snarks back to me, then under his breath but def loud enough for me to hear it, "bunch of humanocentrist biggots."

“This is why I hate the Avengers. Bunch of fucking hypocrites,” I comment. Nova just grunts. Outwardly I don't make a big deal of it, but Sam  **not** jumping to his teammates defense is honestly stupendous. Then there's an audible click and Nova is setting the secret compartment on top of the desk. A little bit more fine and delicate handwork that I can't help but admire and Sam has it open. It's… tablets? Magazines? I'm not sure, exactly.

"Seriously? All that for a bunch of nudie mags?" Nova says, clearly pouting. Is he… has he done this sort of thing before? He's acting like he'd expected a bigger pay off, which… I did  **not** expect from a hero. Still, those are fun for some people, I guess.

“Wait are they naked aliens?! Do I get to see long, hot, throbbing, uncensored tentacle?” I ask, pretending sudden realization. I lean down to get a better look, which just so happens to put me a touch closer to Sam as well. I kinda wish that I could share them with Sam. I imagine sitting curled together under the covers with him, both of us out of costume and giggling about them. I could have Sam explain what bits are the naughty ones, how each species fucks. Maybe even ask him about if he’s gotten up to space sex hijinks. But I can’t. Not yet. And that kind of sucks.

“Yeah, whatever. Probably?” Nova says. He rifles through the drawer but doesn't find anything. I'm guessing here but the way he pockets the actual drawer and leaves me the dubious goods is a pretty good tell. Sam adds, “Well, I guess the spousey didn't approve of their habits."

“Riiight. Well anyways, your weird lack of fascination with tentacle sex aside…gotta ask, are we done here? I’ve got a lot of stuff to take, and not much night left,” I sigh, trying to sound as put upon as possible. I web some of the nudie mags to me and flip through the pages, intrigued.

“You've no idea how much-  _ flark _ ," Nova is so upset that I tense up before realizing he's mad at the broken pretty I'd dropped to the table. Oh.

"Oops, my bad Sparky. Didn't realize they were so fra-gi-leh," I quip. I really  **am** embarrassed, I hadn't meant to break it. Looks like there was a pretty little glow gem inside of it, too.

Sam growls, then glares at me so fiercely I'm really surprised at the  **lack** of Spider Sense. I catch myself shrinking away and instead feign nonchalance. Nova sighs and shakes his head. "Whatever, just. Ugh. Have you seen another containment unit? No wait, why the  _ flark _ would you know what power crystal containment units look like?"

"Mmm, dunno. There isn't anything as fancy as that doodad in here though, sorry Sparky," I tell him. It had been pretty, I feel kinda bad. But now I'm intrigued. "That's not like, gonna give me cancer or something, is it? Or maybe new powers? Gotta say I'm def not a fan of getting all big and ragey."

"No, it's not gonna hurt you like this. It's just, ugh, it's fully charged. And, wait no. Stop that," Nova says. He shakes his finger at me like I'm a naughty kid and I laugh. "Seriously Webhead. I see you there, being all suspiciously  _ pacífico _ and trustworthy. Stop it."

"Oh? You'd rather I stab you then? Kinky," I'm still cackling though. I hope he doesn't think I'm being serious.

"No. Make sense for once in your annoying life, is that too much to ask?" Sam is definitely bantering with me now! It's a real delight. This is going great! He keeps reaching into his suit's pockets and pulling out seemingly random junk.

“Ooh, kinky?” I say questioningly. Sam's pulled out shockingly kinky restraints. Lace edged leather, padded chains, silk rope. “Speaking of kinky, are you just like a walking talking one stop kink shop? Are we gonna get all BDSM in here? My safeword is Uranus, just so you know.”

Sam is so embarrassed that I wish his face wasn't half covered by his helmet. Christ, it's adorable. He shoves that back in and manages to pull out some kind of space ball, just the one. A  _ Space Balls _ joke would just be a pathetic stretch. Tragic.

“Finally! I didn't think I’d ever find the stupid thing,” Nova says, adorably grumpy. He lands and stops glowing, then carefully taps the gem into the sphere. He puts the now sealed ball thing back in his pocket. Huh. I wonder why he had to deglow to handle it. Too bad I'll probably forget by the time I can ask him. He glows back up and calls out as he leaves, “You make any booms tonight and I'll be pissed, hope there isn't a later.” 

“Buh bye Sunshine! Come back and play with me again soon!” I sing out after him. I don't dawdle. Time to get my sweet sweet loot out of here.

I've been at it for a few hours when my phone buzzes with a text. To my absolute delight, it's Sam.

_ Sunshine _ :  _ hey sry to fuck n run u wanna meet up again? _

Perfect. Amazing. Sam is enamoured with me as Peter Parker and already wants to see me again! Him messaging me so soon after his heroic duties fills me up with warm fuzzies. I quickly send off a text, no need to keep my sweet space Prince waiting.

_ no worries I survived <3 Glad you're okay. yeah. I dunno what you were thinking but i’d kinda like to take you to the planetarium. You down for some nerdery? _

He responds pretty quick. I imagine that he's at home, maybe getting ready to shower maybe not. Maybe just getting ready for bed.

_ Sunshine: lol ya idk what humans call lot of stuff should b fun! _

Nice. And adorable. Oh, another text right after?

_ wht time good4 u? Prolly gonna eat n nap soon so I'll be up in the morning _

That's… not a whole lot of rest. But, well, I guess he's a hero after all. Still, I can't help but fret. Maybe I can help him nap again after the date. I send him the time and get back to work. 

Tomorrow is going to be great!

…

  
  


It's date time and I'm early. I can't help it, okay? I love museums, they've always been here for me. And Sam, well, he's really growing on me. I'm honestly eager to see him and show him around. I'm kinda surprised that he's never been here, but I guess when space is your day job it isn't as exciting, maybe. The weather is really nice, too. The swing in my Parker Luck is… unnerving to say the least.

I'm wearing Sam's stealth-pun shirt that I'd jacked the other day. It's not the softest shirt I've worn but it's soft enough. Even more importantly, it's so tight it's practically painted on, so tight that if I get a chill it's nipple city up in here. So I'm wearing a light jacket, too. Save the indecency for  **after** the date. 

**_Aww Spidey, why wait? We can be a menace here on the bench!_ **

I can't help my giddy grin at the thought. Christ, I'd never once considered that sex could be so damn  **good** . 

_ Of course Sam is an attentive lover, he's the only hero to notice when we change our super suit up, and oh the way he notices our new toys as Nova is just the sweetest thing _

**_Disgusting. More like the annoying-ist thing_ **

I shake the shoulder pests away and pull out my phone.

_ Me: _ _ hey Taco Dor, since benches seem like a good spot for us I'm on the one outside the planetarium, see you soon? _

_ Sunshine: y change wht works lol on the bus c u soon _

_ Me: _ _ idk about that… Trying new things can be fun _

I giggle and add a winky face. Sam doesn't respond and I try to tell my anxiety that it's just because he's on the bus. Reception can be real shit down in the canyons of the skyscrapers, especially when moving. I'm a spider. time to act like it and use some patience.

_ Sunshine: hehe new things can b rly fun ;p _

_ Sunshine: just got off the bus on 81st brt _

I eagerly start looking for him. He's short so it's pretty tough, too bad he's not all glowy now, that would make it so much easier on me. I finally catch a glimpse of him and bound my way over.

“Hey! What's a cute guy like you doing in a place like this?” I ask, I want to hug but instead I lean into his side. Sam's happy laughter is sweet and makes me warm in ways I didn't know I needed until I heard it just now.

“I could ask you the same thing, cutie,"Sam replies. He called me cute! His arm slips around my waist, under my jacket. He adds, "I can’t believe you’re stretching out my new shirt.”

"I dunno, seems like my evil plan is working! I mean, here you are, here I am," I say, then laugh. I can't help it, I feel so full of goodness it just falls out of me.

“Come on, let’s go nerd it up,” Sam says with a smile and what must be fondness. It's so alien an expression for me to see so genuine on another. I'm usually faking it for another. It's kind of weird to see. Not to mention the embarrassing warm fuzzies it sends rushing through me.

“Who knows, maybe if the stars align you can take the poor abused shirt off of me yourself, later," I say, still grinning like an idiot. Sam squeezes me closer to him and I flush. 

“Which stars, what alignment? Is this more nerd stuff? I really hope you aren’t gonna quiz me on this later, that’s just mean,” Sam tells me. We're inside now and on top of the just stupid amount of affection I feel a rare rush of nostalgia. Museums had been my solace whenever things were bad. They often were, especially during my younger years. I could always escape into the worlds of knowledge held within their walls. I'm genuinely excited to share this part of my life with Sam. 

“Aww, c’mon you were talking a big game the other day about aliens. A few measly star systems shouldn't be a problem,” I reply with a chuckle.

“Earth names for things are always so…" Sam shrugs and looks embarrassed. Fuck me, he's so cute. Still possibly the worst liar I've ever met, but it's okay. I forgive him. Then he's surprising me again, telling me. "I've got a membership to the Met. Don't worry about getting tickets, c'mon."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up! Do you mean to tell me that self professed not nerd Sam Alexander has a membership to The Met? I am shocked, shocked I say!" I stick with him like glue, despite my silly banter saying otherwise. As long as he's happy to give me affection in public I'm more than happy to soak it up.

"It's a family membership, for Mom and Kae mostly. But, you know, it comes in handy sometimes for me, too. Great for wooing nerds, for starters," Sam says. He's blushing though, his darker skin still plenty pale enough to show off his blush.

"Shut. Up. That is the cutest shit I've ever heard," I tell him honestly. He has to pull his hand away to get tickets from the teller. Showing her his card and junk. Whatever. I'm not mad, you're mad. The teller smiles at both of us though, I am very lightly mollified. Sam's hand in mine, pulling me along the lobby to a slightly more out of the way spot for us to look at the brochure-slash map soothes me even better.

“Okay, let’s go look at space stuff and see how wrong it is,” Sam declares, studiously ignoring my teasing.

“Wow you're really a gentleman aren't you? I invite you out and you pick up the check. I think I'd better keep you,” I tell him, merciless.

“Cooking you breakfast was kinda cheating,” Sam says, still blushing.

“Delicious, delicious, cheating,” I tell him dreamily. “Anyways, is there anything you really, really wanna see? The Dark Universe exhibition is pretty awesome. And I think they're doing the Cosmic Web lecture today but I don't know if you wanna go to that.”

“Cosmic Webs?” Sam shudders but before I ask he goes on to say, “Like, webs made by  _ ax- _ uh, space spiders? Maybe The Dark Universe thing first.”

“Hah, no, no, it has  **nothing** to do with space spiders. Though I'm not going to lie, I'm  **so** excited that those are an actual thing!” I tell him, quick to reassure. I imagine Spider-Man riding giant spiders around New York, laughing maniacally. And of striding into Stark Tower all cool and collected with thousands of tiny, glowing, floating spiders at my beck and call. And if the little spiders looked more like little Spider-Novas, it's my own imagination dammit.

_ This is why people think we're creepy, _ Spidey-Angel needlessly butts in.

**_No you whiny loser, this is why people think we're fucking awesome!_ ** Spidey-Devil says, stabbing the angel with it's pitchfork and cackling. 

I shake them away. Sheesh.

“But, okay, my darling arachnophobe, let's go into the Heart of Darkness!” I cry triumphantly, eagerly leading Sam in the right direction.

“I’m not scared of them! They just, uh,” Sam stumbles then says, “They’re kinda dicks.” 

“Spiders are dicks, huh? Sounds like you're speaking from experience,” I say with over the top, exaggerated slyness. Then Sam is pulling me to a stop.

“Oh hey, look at that! They have a new exhibit on alien species! Wanna go there first instead?” Sam blurts out, completely transparently changing the topic. But I let him. I'm thrilled at the entire prospect of going through this with Sam. First of all, Sam is bound to find this hilarious. And also, he's bound to have a million stories to tell. I love hearing his laugh and listening to him talk, he's so adorable and it just, makes really nice things happen in my chest.

“Yeah, sure, why not?” I say, grinning.

"Great!" Sam leads me inside the exhibit hall.

“Awesome! You gotta tell me all about all the different aliens we see, I'm trusting you to be my expert,” I inform him. We walk hand in hand through the exhibit and I'm just, so stupidly happy again at the casual public affection.

"Sure thing, Big Shot!" Sam says. His silly nickname fills me with joy.

“Awesome! Man if you have stories about meeting any of them I'm totally dying to hear them,” I tell him, unable to completely suppress my hip wiggle. This exhibit is pretty big, and it reminds me of why I love this museum. So much attention to detail, so many fun things to learn!

"Absolutely, Big Shot," Sam tells me with a smile that makes my belly swoop. I look around the exhibit hall and inwardly cringe. It's all about heroes, ugh. The Fantastic Four are everywhere, video clips, interactive holograms, the works. But it's not just the FF…

“Oh, hey, they have a thing on Nova!” I declare, pointing at the display with maybe more flair than called for. Sam looks like he immediately regrets choosing this exhibit and I start dragging him over to the Nova section of it. If I'm stuck looking at hero shit then I at least want to look at the only hero I like, now.

“Yeah, heh, neat,” Sam says, awkward and precious. Then he starts pulling on me and adds, "Nova is hella awesome! Let’s check it out!” 

Christ, this is going to be hilarious. But I don't say anything right away. This section isn't just on Nova, it's on everything we know about deep space. Including some interesting tidbits about Earth being under Asgardian cosmic 'protection' that this star system is considered Asgardian territory, along with Asgard itself and the rest of 'The Nine Realms'. Huh. I wonder… are we a colony then? Or a territory? But I don't ask Sam, that's a bit more than I want to get into on a date.

“Think they have any pictures that capture how outta this world his ass is?” I say, teasing Sam just to watch him squirm.

“Nova’s ass is pretty awesome!” Sam says, looking so smug. He points me to a small, interactive holo display of Nova. “I don’t think you can get the angle you want, but there’s that.”

"Nice! Finally a chance to touch the space booty,” I say with a laugh. Inwardly I'm thrilled that yesterday I got to do so much more than just touch.

“Hey, look! A flight simulator! You can fly like Nova and Torchie!" I blurt out as soon as I notice the setup. It's like a full body motion game, and looks like it's set up to race! I think about reining in my enthusiasm but… I don't  **want** to. I want to woo and corrupt Sam yes, but I also want to show him as much of the real me as I can. “We should do it!”

"Yeah, good thing we got here early!" Sam says, but then I realize that he's not following me. I turn to look at him and he's staring at a… something. Frozen like he's shocked, face blank. I backtrack and realize it's a small, simple memorial for other Nova that died defending Earth.

“Hey,” I say, voice soft. I tentatively hold his hand and give it a squeeze. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah, just… a moment of silence,” Sam says. But he's clearly way more upset than just that explanation. Still, I can't exactly push him. He has no idea that I know that he's Nova. I figure he must have known one of them personally. Maybe even more. Maybe even had been friends, or closer. There's nothing I can say to fix this. After a few minutes of this I give his hand another squeeze. He turns to look at me, clearly upset. My heart breaks, just a bit. He must not have known that this was going to be here. Impulsively I press a sweet, nearly chaste kiss to his lips. He kisses me sweetly back.

"C'mon, let's race, yeah? Or maybe come tell me all about alien dicks? You know whichever you're feeling up to?" I say. I immediately regret it, but Sam smiles. It's still way too  **wan** and  **sad** but it's something.

"Wow, you sure do know how to woo a guy," Sam says, clearly trying to tease me. 

**_No! He hates us you fucking idiot what the hell?! Who tells a mourner to talk about cocks?!_ **

_ As loathe as I am to even hint at agreeing with this devil in spiders clothing, that was rather uncouth and crass _

**_Jesus pants-shitting Christ even chicken wing over here agrees with me!_ **

_ Well, only in the broadest of strokes you know _

It's a lot harder to shake away my shoulder pests right now. I really  **want** Sam to  **like** me. I haven't wanted to be liked in a long ass time.

"Right, let's race, and Peter…" Sam looks at me so soulfully that I don't even know what I'm feeling. "thanks for being so… you I guess. Seriously."

Sam then leans up to kiss me, right here in public and everything! I'm kind of mentally swooning. He isn't mad at me! He liked my dumbass way of breaking the tension, even! My shoulder pests are silent now, too!

After an embarrassing moment of way too genuine feelings, Sam leads me over to the game booths. He picks Nova, of course he does. This leaves me with ol Flame Brain as my racer. It feels like blasphemy but whatever, we're supposed to be having fun dammit! I can suck it up.

“Loser owes the winner a massage,” I declare, right when the racers start their countdown.

"Hah, yeah, high roller huh Big Shot?" Sam says, bantering so adorably badly. Then he starts grumping about the controls and, well, since he's such a terrible liar he must actually be having trouble and not just letting me win. But I win and he sulkily declares, "I wanna massage you anyways."

"I dunno Sam, I did just fine! Glad you aren't a sore loser though," I declare, doing a silly little victory dance. Sam is smiling at me like he still wants to be grumpy but can't. Christ I think I'm falling for this asshole, like for real. I pull him to my side for a little bit and say, all low and quiet and sexy, “I'm looking forward to that massage.”

Sam blushes so cutely at my honestly pretty tame teasing and says, "I'll try not to disappoint."

We wander over to the displays on alien life and I can't help another tease. "C’mon. Come tell me about alien dicks. I've always wondered if the aliens on Uranus actually had an anus.”

Sam makes this silly little snort and responds with, “Wow, you sure know how to woo a guy,”

“I knew all that anus talk would reel you in,” I declare. Sam gives my hand a squeeze and I play with his fingers. We look over the holo images and listen to the videos for a little bit. I can't resist another tease, "So… See anybody you know?”

"Yeah, Matchstick of course. And Sue. But they're not aliens, just metahuman. Oh, Thor and Lady Sif!"

"Are we sure about Storm? Really sure? You know what though, don't tell me.  **Especially** don't tell me about his dick. The sites and mags I work for do that more than enough already," 

"He’ll tell you all about his dick on his own. Well, maybe not you," Sam says with a pause, before adding, "though maybe yes you. Storm's like that."

“No thanks. There's just one dick I'm interested in right now,” I say with a theatrical coo and charming flutter of my eyelashes.

“You’re terrible, Pete,” Sam says with a fetching blush and embarrassed little bump into my shoulder.

“You like it, though,” I say with a low purr into his ear. The sound of a tour group of kids entering keeps me from saying anything really raunchy. But from Sam's little shiver and lingering blush I know I'm doing fine. Just when I'm about to suggest going further into the exhibit a shrill, familiar little voice stops us.

“Petey! Guys! Guys it's Petey!”

Uh oh.

I don't get a chance for much else as my kids swarm around the both of us, clamoring for my attention. I lift up Haley, she's six, and zoom her around. She shrieks in delight and all the other kiddos are demanding more 'zooms' too. Oops. I give Sam my best apologetic look before declaring, “Ahhhh, Sam quick get help. All these little aliens are attacking me! Oh God they're everywheeeeere!”

Instead of being annoyed, Sam laughs and cries out, “Oh no! If only Nova were here to save us! He’d know just what these little aliens wanted! Noooooooooo!”

I'm pleasantly surprised that Sam plays along with me. And in the dorkiest way too, calling out to his super self for 'help'.

"Kids, c’mon. Give Peter some space to breathe,” Emily Preston declares.

“Heh. She said  **space** . In a planetarium,” I say with a chuckle at my lame dad joke. The littler kids giggle and laugh along with me, the teens and tweens act too cool for my jokes. Oh well, Sam's low chuckle is more than enough to make up for it.

“Petey! Petey! Petey! We’re here for the whooooooole day,” Haley declares, loud and bright. 

Oh, I'm still holding her. I set her down and she runs around us. I tell her, still grinning “No way, Haley! Me too. It’s good to see you guys! I didn’t realize today was field trip day, Preston”

"Preston? Oh, hey fancy meeting you here! How's everything going? Minimum of shenanigans I hope," Sam says, perking right up and going over to Preston. He's not shmoozing, no, I've noticed that he actually seems to thrive on attention. He's not an introvert like me. I make a mental note to ask Preston how she knows Sam, and later today to ask Sam how he knows Preston.

“It’s good to see you guys! I didn’t realize today was field trip day, Preston” I say, genuinely embarrassed and blushing. Oh God, this is so embarrassing. I know I'm panicking, imagining Sam thinking that I'd fathered like a thousand children with these ladies. I shake my head, trying to will the unfounded worry away. Even worse though, Sam is going to see how much of a dork I really am. I just can't help but act stupid around the kids. Most of them think it's hilarious, even the older ones. Even if they mostly call me a nerd, I know they like my silliness.

"It wasn't, but the kids saw an ad for the alien exhibit," Merill says, her tips are frosted pink today. She and Lina smile wide at me before Merill adds, "You know how they get about Human Torch and Nova."

"Yes. And we got another anonymous donation. We could finally afford it," Preston tells me with a knowing look. I grin all cheeky at her.

"Oh, that's great! How awesome!" Sam says, all precious and earnest. Heh, he even helped me make bank so I could anonymously donate the funds. Not that he knows any of that.

"It's good to see you again Sam, Peter," Preston says. Then introduces Lina and Merill to Sam and junk.

"Nice to meet you both!" Sam says, looking for all the world like he genuinely means it. Fuck, why is Nova so earnest and adorable and  **cute** . He's going to be the death of me, and he won't even be able to gloat over it like a proper hero. Or well, maybe heroes don't gloat over killing, usually that's us villains. But I've missed something and now Sam is volunteering himself for questions. I'm so stupidly happy about this, and he's not even a little bit intimidated by Agent Emily Preston. Hmmm maybe that's how he knows her, through SHIELD? She's about the only decent agent I've ever met. Deadpool had something to do with it, probably. I dunno, not my comic not my show. Whatever.

“If you don't mind a thousand questions a minute I’ll just bet they'd love to take you up on that. The kids love heroes. Anything to do with them.” Lina says with a grin.

“Not a problem Lina! How are they supposed to learn anything if they never ask questions?” Sam says, all blasé and heedless of the danger he just put himself in. Typical Nova, really.

I don't have attention to spare for much more though. The kiddos haven't stopped demanding my attention. Especially Tommy, this kid has a motor mouth that rivals mine! If I didn't know better I'd think he was mine, but nah. I know better. As lovely as the ladies are it's not likely any quantum existing theoretical kids of mine are as young as Tommy here. Yeah. Not a happy thought for me either but let's not dwell on it. Not when I've got these localized disasters to entertain!

“Oh my gawd, Petey, Petey! I wrote a new doujin you haaaaaave to read it!” Haley says, tugging at my pants and practically dancing in place. Then Tommy pushes her out of the way and she declares, “Rude! I’ll show you later, promise Petey!”

“Ugh, no way, it’s so dumb. It’s just a bunch of kissing. Pete! You gotta see my medals! They’re real medals too, not baby lame ‘thanks for trying’ medals!” Tommy says, nearly vibrating in place from how quickly he's bouncing.

Haley sticks her tongue out at Tommy even though I reassure her I'll look at her latest masterpiece at my Tuesday visit. I give Tommy some genuine praise and a fist bump, but then he scampers away to Sam. No doubt to ask him everything he can think up about Nova and the Fantastic Four. Damn heroes. I can't get away from them, not in villainy, not with my kiddos, and not even from my date! Sam  **is** a hero!

“Oh my gosh, you know Nova?” 

“Yeah, we're buds!” Sam responds with a grin. What a fucking disaster. But the thought is fond.

“If you throw up in space what does it do?” Spirky asks, rock-rolling her red wheelchair back and forth in her excitement. 

“Ah, if you're in a space suit it gets all over you and your faceplate. It's really gross.” Sam says with a wince. Either from personal experience or from squished toes, or maybe both.

“You know Johnny Storm?! Have you seen him flame on? Is it really cool?” Tommy demands.

“Yeah, Johnny and I are besties! His fire is hot,” Sam says with a shit eating grin. The older kids groan and protest but the littles giggle right along with me. 

“Do you and Johnny race cars?” Clara asks. Bless her little soul, she's tugging on Sam's pant leg.

"Sometimes! Usually we only race in video games though. Heck of a lot cheaper for us lowly normal folks," Sam tells her. Clara thinks on this while the other kids jump in with questions.

“Are there any pink aliens?”

“Oh yeah, Krylorians are pink! They’re pretty cool. I think there's even a bit about them here!” Sam says. I make yet another mental note to pester Sam about things later.

Then Haley blurts out, all giggly like it's embarrassing, “Do you and Johnny hold hands?!”

I bite back a laugh. Of course Haley would ask that question. She's obsessed with 'shipping' the silly goose. Tommy interrupts Sam before he can really say anything. “Don’t be dumb, boys are gross! Sam, Sam! Have you seen Nova without his helmet? Is he really an alien too?" 

“Boys  **are** gross, it's true. Soon as you know you're a boy you just get gross." Sam agrees, looking unfairly solemn. Unfairly because he looks hot. Then Sam goes on. "Torch and Nova  **have** been known to hold hands though."

There is much shrieking and clamor over this amazing revelation. On our dinner date, Sam had implied he was close enough to Johnny that casual sex was a possibility, even if it wasn't something that I needed to worry about. Well. Great. Now I'm worrying about how weanie, nobody Peter Parker compares in the sack to hunky, famous Johnny Storm. I have to keep Sam interested in me! I resolve to double down on my seduction game after our date is done. Once the kids have settled down, Sam gets serious.

"I'm not allowed to talk about what Nova really looks like. It's a secret. I know it's not fair, because a lot of his teammates don't have secret Identities, like Mister Stark, and Doctor Banner. But It's a secret ‘cause he’s a special kind of Nova called a Super Nova. That’s the Nova special ops like America’s Navy Seals. It’d be dangerous if the bad aliens knew what species he was or what he looked like. And not just for Nova. There's lots or really, really bad aliens out there that wouldn't think twice about attacking our planet if they thought Nova was human. But it's okay, Nova, the Fantastic Four, and even Thor and others keep Earth safe!"

The kids all nod and talk amongst themselves at that. Sam explained it really well, I'm actually really pleased he didn't lie about the consequences. These kids haven't all seen Bad Shit, but they all talk together enough to know just how terrible the world can be. And I remember hating being babied and treated like an idiot. Anyways, TL;DR Sam keeps being great and I keep falling harder. 

“Is replicator food kosher?” Mindy asks, fidgeting with her lightning pendant.

“Not sure, I don't keep kosher. But that's a really good question. I'll have to look into it. I think though, if it's out in space then it's probably not kosher. SHIELD has kosher food so if we manage to make replicators there will be slightly more kosher food in space then!"

"Pretty sure Kosher is a yes no kinda thing," I tell Sam.

"Pretty sure I'm not qualified either way to say," Sam replies with a good natured laugh. That's fair. I'm hit with an unexpected old ache of loss, my family had been Jewish. I think. I was way too young. Too young to lose my parents. Too young to lose my family. Way too young to find my Aunt and Uncle bled out in the living room. There'd been  **so much** blood. I shove the old memories away. The assholes that had done it are long, long dead. I tune in to hear another question about Storm. Joy.

“One time I saw Nova and Johnny racing  **in the sky!”**

“Nuh-uh,  **I** saw Johnny and Nova racing in the sky!”

“Tommy, Haley, you can both have seen them racing in the sky,” Merill says with patience I can't ever get over.

“They do it often enough, those show offs,” I chime in.

“True enough,” Sam says with a shrug.

“Oh! Oh! One time! One time I saw an alien! It was green!” Haley says, like she just remembered.

“Nuh-uh! You did not!” Tommy insists.

“I did too!” Haley stamps her foot, mad.

“That was just The Hulk! He's not an alien, he’s a monster. Duh!” 

“It was not The Hulk! It was an alien!” Haley defended.

“Hey hey guys! There  **are** green aliens! Lots of different kinds too!” Sam said, trying to head off a fight. “I think there may be a few species in the exhibit, even!”

“Ohh, let’s go look, I’ll show you they’re real!”

“Yeah, I bet it was still The Hulk though,” Tommy sasses her back.

Haley and Tommy run over to the displays that Sam and I just left. Their little posse of friends following them. Just Klara is left of the littles. The older kids are still loitering around acting like they don't care about all these questions and answers happening right here. Lina runs after the littles to supervise them. I've long since been dropped for a newer, shinier model by the kids, but it's okay. I'm actually happy right now, strange as it is.

“Having fun Sam?” I say, then can't resist the tease. “Maybe I’ll meet you back here in a few hours, once the Q and A is over.”

“Space and supers are pretty awesome! How could that be boring?” Sam laughs.

“Don't go Petey!” Klara blurts out, clearly upset. Affection explodes in my chest.

“It's okay Klara, I'm not really going yet. I was just teasing Sam.” I say, quick to reassure her. And I even move in closer, but not trapping her between us.

“I don’t like teasing,” Klara says, hiding her face against Sam’s leg. I'm enraged and heartbroken all over again. But at least Klara is safe now.

“Hey there Klara, Petey Pie wasn’t teasing mean like, sometimes people tease people they like. I’m not mad,” Sam tells her, crouching down low and looking. Well. Shit. Looking like he'd be a great dad someday. Ugh. Why can't Sam be a horrible person so I could kill him and move on with my life? But nooooo he has to be kind, and charming and a great big brother and handsome and a stellar fuck and, and, ughhhhhhhhhh.

"Sam's right. I like him a lot,” I confirm with a smile. “Does anyone else have anything they wanna say to Sam about aliens?”

“Yeah!” Rhonda days, a mischievous gleam in her eye., “On the Internet I saw this thing where an alien took it's tentacles and-”

Sam interrupts quickly, “Don’t believe everything you see on the internet!”

“Welp! That's enough for question time everyone! Rhonda, no more questions from you, thank you!” I say, voice cracking like a damn child myself. Rhonda grins back at me. Sigh.

“Mr. Prast used to watch that before he got burned up by spiders. He showed me,” Klara Says, just an observation, I think. But it makes me wish I could kill the monster all over again. I burn with the need to protect Klara. To protect  **all** the kids. I do what I can, when and where I can, but it never feels like enough. 

“Hey, guys, you know what we should do now that question time is over? Spaceship rides!” I blurt out fast. I scoop Klara up and swing her around. She shrieks happily and I'm so glad. I might not be able to legally adopt these kids, not with my very illegal profession, but they're mine all the same. Getting her to laugh is good, means she was just commenting and not flashbacking. Probably. Brains are weird. 

“Nyoooom pew pew pew,” I say. Providing what I'm sure is completely accurate space noises as the younger kids gathered back around me. 

“Speaking of spaceships,” Sam says, turning to the older kids, “There’s some flight simulators for SHIELD spacecraft somewhere in this exhibit. Unless flying rocket ships is too cool for you guys?”

“No way, I totally kick a- butt at flight sims,” Char says with a wary glance at Preston.

“Nice save.” I laugh. 

Char does not appreciate my teasing and drags Ronda off to find the mythical flight simulators. Ah, teenagers.

“Anyways you guys I gotta go,” I say, raising my voice enough that all the kiddos can hear me.

“Awww, don’t go Petey!” all the kids practically chorus as one. It's so creepy that I'm momentarily all evilly proud of them. My perfect little devils.

**_Brings a tear to my evil little eyes, it does,_ ** devil Spidey pipes up.

_ They are charming and lovely little angels, _

I shake the pests away and they go without a fuss.

“Sorry I have to go, guys! I'm on a date,” I say, Sam looks so happy at this that I hold his hand. I'd stopped being so clingy out of fear of upsetting Sam but… maybe I'd gotten it wrong? He's so happy now.

“I'll be in to see you all on Tuesday, I promise,” I say, the kids all began to yell things all at once.

“Petey when did you get a boyfriend!?”

“Boys are so gross though!”

“No we aren't!”

“Do you guys kiss?”

Sam pulls me closer and gives me the sweetest little kiss on my cheek. I blush and grin like a fool.

“Ew! Kissing is gross! You get cooties!” Tommy insists. Then it's pandemonium and the kids all talk over each other.

“Tuesday guys! I'll tell you all about it on Tuesday,” I promise with a laugh. Clearly, I've gotta get ready to get grilled about my love life. Even the older kids are whispering to each other and grinning. Yikes.

“It was good to see you Peter,” Preston says, Lina and Merill rush to tug Haley and Tommy apart, I hadn't even noticed them fighting, oops. It's just too common to faze me anymore. Preston doesn't even spare them a look. "It's good to see you again, Sam. Remember your background check if you want to come visit us with your boyfriend. The kids love you."

"They're good kids, I'd love to! And hey let me know if you want a super visit, I'll see what I can do," Sam says.

"Of course Sam," Preston says, looking a bit indulgent. She must know he's Nova! Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. He is adorable and earnest, after all.

The kids keep saying and shouting their goodbyes as we walk out of the exhibit. We hadn't finished but there's not much more we can do in that exhibit with my kiddos here now. I clear my throat and tell Sam, “So that happened. Sorry, I didn't know they'd all be here, I hope that was alright?”

“Why’re you apologizing? I love kids! They obvs love you. It was adorable and fun!” Sam says, snuggling right on up against me as we walk. He's leading me to the next exhibit hall but these I've all seen before.

“Heh, well the older ones think I'm a loser, but they secretly like me too,” I say then nerves skitter through my belly like spiders and I add, “Uh… I hope it was cool that they were calling you my boyfriend? I know we haven't talked about it but, I'm definitely not opposed to that. Like at all.”

"I’d really like it, like a lot, if you wanna actually, officially date. I think you’re awesome," Sam says, all excited and adorable and shy, despite his very public arm in arm walking with me. My heart explodes with joy. This is amazing, this is spectacular! We're officially boyfriends now! But immediately after the rush of joy I remember exactly how dangerous this is. This can burn up in flames any second. One reused joke recognized, one subconscious tell noticed, and I'm dead. I still feel like I'm floating on air. Like everything in the universe has narrowed down to Sam's body warming my side where we touch and Sam's adorably happy expression as he looks at me.

“Yeah. Yeah I think you're pretty alright, too,” I say, then figuring fuck it I pull Sam out of the way of the sparse crowd. He looks more confused than concerned. I kiss him, I kiss him again, then a third one for luck. “And hey, uh, if you wanna come with me to visit the kids on Tuesday, that'd be great. It's um, it's an orphanage though, so Preston really wasn't lying about that police check.”

“That’d be awesome, Pete. Don’t worry, I’ll bring my papers. I’m pretty sure I’ll pass it.” Sam is being a little bit of a shit, he's Nova, an Avenger and he also works alongside SHIELD. There's no way he won't pass. But he's also grinning at me like I've given him life and I decide I don't care.

We stand there for a little bit longer, Sam thinking mysterious spaceman secret agent thoughts, and me lost in anxious bliss. it doesn't last, but it's Sam that interrupts, not anything disastrous.

“Now, you ready to brave the dark depths of space with me?” Sam asks, pulling me back along to the Dark Universe exhibit.

“As long as you promise to hold me if I get scared,” I laugh. Yeah, Sam is amazing. Now I've just gotta get to work on swaying Nova on Spider-Man.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the date at the planetarium went without any other interruptions. And even a few stolen kisses! It was the best date I’ve ever been on. Yes, the only date I’ve ever been on but whatever. We’d had a blast, and while the planetarium tragically hadn’t had a radioactive glow in the dark shirt for me, it had had a few little trinkets that tickled me to get. And to get for Sam.

I think the biggest thing I got myself, at least for me, is a little Nova star keychain. Just like the one on Sam’s helmet. Fuck he’d look so… okay well, so constipated because he was trying not to look delighted. But you know, it's okay. I can pretend. And he doesn’t even realize exactly how stupendous a deal this is that I’ve got a legally acquired piece of superhero merch to use as intended. I usually just jack shipments and have fun blowing it up. Or leaving hilariously threatening broken or defaced logos and shit at various crime scenes. That’s always good for a laugh.

We take public transit back to his place and my heart is racing faster than if I’d swung us both here. Sam pulls me into the elevator in his apartment building. Even though he lives on the thirteenth floor he pushes twelve. He'd mentioned something about that when he'd texted me his apartment number the other day. So I snuggle him close and ask, “Seriously what happens if you push thirteen?” 

“Ugh, it gets stuck and takes forever for anyone to come fix it. It blows, totally violating city ordinances and I’m pretty sure at least one state law.” Sam sounds so resigned and offended over this. It's honestly precious. He sighs against me and I feel his shrug, “But what’re’ya gonna do? It’s New York."

"You said it. Though getting stuck in an elevator with you might not be so bad." I say with a laugh and then a silly lecherous leer.

Sam chuckles and says, “I could definitely think up ways we could pass the time."

“Yeah? Hmm... I don’t know about you but with the way I play charades this little elevator definitely ain’t big enough. I’m very flaily,” I say, deliberately misconstruing Sam's meaning. 

Sam laughs and playfully thwaps my chest, Spidey sense doesn't even tingle. “Yeah, totally, charades." 

The doors open on seven and an elderly woman steps in. I jump away from Sam immediately, mostly on reflex. I also can't help but start babbling nonsense. We hadn't been doing anything wild, just a bit of occupying each other's personal space. But I'm mortified all the same, I can't help but imagine that this granny thought we were actually up to some hanky panky.

“Peter, calm down. Mrs. Camacho, this is my boyfriend, Peter. Peter, Mrs. Camacho,” Sam says, introducing us to each other. .

“Hmph, do you like bridge, Pedro?” Mrs. Camacho says. No idea if she'd got my name wrong on purpose or not.

“I, uh... Yes? I mean my late aunt taught me so it’s been a few years,” I say, still warm and embarrassed. It's been more than a few years, really. Nearly six since that terrible night. But the twinge of guilt and pain is too old and worn to stop my embarrassment. Oh God, she walked in on me practically on top of Sam and now is making small talk. What even is my life?

“Hmm,  _ beuno _ . Try to keep this one longer than a week, Samuel,” she says, frowning at Sam, “And your zucchini muffins, too sweet. My grandkid loved them.”

“Ah, hah, yeah. Sorry about the muffins, I’ll be sure to make two batches next time,” Sam says, rubbing the back of his neck. And looking embarrassed.

She's at her floor and goes on her way with a sort of cordial goodbye. Maybe.

“Nice to meet you,” I call after her. I'm trying to be charming after all. Then I glance at Sam, and tease. “This one huh? For longer than a week?" 

Sam looks more embarrassed, even a bit rueful. Nova never looked like that at Spider-Man, despite my then earnest desire for him to rue the day he ever heard my villain name.

“What can I say? I can’t shut up, and work weird hours,” Sam says, shrugging. The doors mostly open with a rather lackluster ding. Sam pushes the stuck outer door aside and gestures grandly at the hallway. I tease my fingers along Sam’s hip as I step past him. Anticipation is singing in my veins, we're almost to his place and a promised massage. A massage that will hopefully lead into more stellar sex.

“Mmm, I like how much you talk. I think you might be stuck with me,” I say, only wincing slightly at the screeching noise the elevator doors make as they closed. Sam's pleased laugh helps. The trip up the stairs and down the hall to his door is both too long and too fast. 

“So, what kind of massage did you have in mind?” Sam says, shutting the door behind us. The deadbolts slide closed with a click. I'm anxious over the noise despite all of the various and villainous reasons that locked doors mean nothing to me any longer, but it's pleasantly fleeting. I set our souviner bags aside and kick off my shoes, leaving them next to Sam's.

“Mmmmmm, I’m thinking a niiiiiice long massage,” I say, stretching wide and making Sam's stolen shirt pull tight against my chest. “Yeah, your hands all over my body sounds  **real** nice right now.”

Sam slides his hands along my abs and up the shirt with an unfairly sexy grin. “Man, like, rubbing you, and touching you, allll over. Absolute torture. So cruel!” 

Sam is caressing and petting me under the shirt, his banter is adorable. Then he gets a spark of something else in him and orders, “Now stop stretching my shirt and strip!” 

"Demanding!” I laugh and follow him into bed, I'm honestly not sure which one of us is faster to get naked, or nearly so. He still has some adorable stealth-puntastic constellation boxers on, “I thought I was the winner of our little bet. Not that I’m complaining. I kinda like it when you take charge.”

"Oh really?" Sam says, catching his liberated shirt that I toss playfully at him. He drops it carelessly and grins absolutely wickedly before saying, "Get a couple of towels, lay them on the bed and then look pretty."

“Will do boss. They in here? We haven't been boyfriends long enough for me to figure out where you hide all your stuff.” I say. I feel all ooey gooey good right now. It's so good, the feeling I get as it leaves my mouth. Sam, Nova, being  **my** boyfriend. I set the towels out on the bed. I hesitate just a moment then pull off my boxers and sprawl out on towels stomach down. I hope Sam can't see the red of my blush from this angle.

“Mmm, you look real pretty,” Sam says. But he's not  **doing** anything and it's driving me a little bit crazy with anticipation and anxiety. Then he's straddling my naked hips, he's still wearing his boxers. They're soft. I hear him warming up the lotion and can't help my indecent moan as he starts working out the knots in my shoulders.

"You're so tense, Pete!" Sam says, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, lotta stress,” is my lazy reply, I add, “That felt nice.”

“Don’t worry, I'll get you nice and loose,” Sam promises. Christ, he's working wonders already. Kneading tension out of me left and right. Literally.

“You talk a big game," I tease, focusing on nothing else but the feeling of Sam's hands on my body.

“When haven’t I come through for you, Big Shot?” Sam responds, smug. Sam moves his magic hands to my neck, I moan and sigh and generally make more noises than I usually do during sex. As amazing as sex with Sam is, this might be better. Dunno yet though, I'll have to fuck him some more to make sure. The sacrifices we make for science. Heh. He works his way slowly, meticulously, along each muscle group. First working on my arms one at a time, all the way down to the tips of my fingers. I melt into a blissful spider puddle. By the time he's made his way back to the muscles I use for web swinging along my sides I'm basically useless.

“How did you even get these muscles all tense? Do you have a partner at the gym? They need to spot you better!” Sam sounds worried. Why the fuck would I even go to the gym? Shit, I didn't think this through. That's my cover for having a metahuman physique. Duh. And of course I'm going to have tension in weird places with my favorite mode of transportation being my own weblines.

I manage to mumble something vague enough I'm not caught in my own web of lies. But I accidentally worry Sam.

“Peter! You could really hurt yourself! Do you need a spotter? I can spot for you, and if not me, I know plenty of guys, and gals, strong enough,” Sam says. He's so adorable, trying to look out for me. And even though he's mother henning me he's still working out my knots and kinks. Heh. Kinks. 

“I'm fine Sam. I'm careful I promise. But sometime maybe we could work out together. And I'm definitely hiring you as my official masseuse,” I purr, then moan again as the heel of Sam's hand digs just right into a particularly sensitive area, “Mmm yeah, right there.”

“If you say so, Big Shot,” Sam says. His trust in me is so refreshing. He never really second guesses me. Not even as Nova.

“You're good at this. Could stand to be a little more handsy though.” I say, though it's quiet and breathy. I might just pass out like this. How embarrassing. But before I can do more than think that I yelp and startle. Sam slaps my ass, laughing. I hate being hit, especially during sex shit. But I'm surprising my own damn self by giggling and actually  **not** hating this. The way Sam hit had felt…  **nice.** Fun. It didn't set my spidey sense ringing. 

I trust him. 

“You are way too tense, I dunno if even sexy fun times is gonna relax these poor abused muscles,” Sam teases as he turns himself around; still straddling me but facing the other way. His hands on my ass are amazing. I love it. And it's not even sexy now. Well, I mean it's a little bit sexy. But Sam is diligently massaging my glutes and only a little bit playing around.

“Yeah but what kind of masseuse would you be if you didn't try every technique,” I say with a lazy laugh. Sam feels so good. His strong, sure hands rubbing away my tension, his weight warm and solid on my back. I'm half hard already. I grin to myself and wiggle my ass, careful to act like Sam's weight is keeping me pinned. Sam slaps my ass again and again it's not bad, kinda nice. I giggle.

Sam keeps working me over, and when he leans down I realize he's hard. His still clothed erection presses against my ass cheeks. All kinds of fuzzy and filthy feelings rush through me and I make a point of it to grind up against his dick every time he leans into me.

“Mmm is that some kinda fancy massage tool in your pants or are you just glad to see me?” I tease.

“Heh, I can do  **some** kinda massage with it. Though I am really happy to see you, too,” Sam sounds amused, maybe even fond. But I could be projecting. He pulls my leg back to work on my calf, but when he moves on to my feet I bleat laughter like a damned spider goat. 

"Fuck," I manage through my giggles. I'd ground my ass pretty firmly against his dick and even despite the fabric between us it felt good.

“Someone is ticklish,” Sam sings out like a taunt. But it's far more playfully said then anything he's ever called at me as Nova.

“I have no idea what you mean,” I lie. Then add, "I just wanted an excuse to do  **this** . ” 

I start moving my hips in earnest, grinding into his dick mercilessly. Sam catches his breath and moans so low and good. I need him in me  **immediately** .

“Villain. Trying to stop me from giving my boyfriend a rub down," Sam is breathless and I've gotta admit as awkward as this is, what with the towels under me. Not the best dick feel but anyway, Sam is so responsive it's amazing. He valiantly tries to continue the massage on to my other leg, too.

“From the feel of it I think my dastardly plan might work,” I say, it feels too nice rutting together and getting a massage at the same time. The only thing that'd make it any better would be- “you should take those boxers off.”

“Mmm, I should, shouldn’t I?” Sam says, doing literally not that. I make a pathetic, frustrated sound. Sam keeps rubbing me down.

“Who's the villain again?” I ask, rolling my body in an absolutely  **filthy** way. I move like I'm being fucked, trying to get Sam's clothed cock between my cheeks to really torment him. It's only fair. Professions aside, he's fuckin evil. “Come on, come on. Time for another kind of massage.”

Fabric tears and I have a split second of panic thinking that I'd stopped paying attention to myself and ripped Sam's sheets in frustration. Sam makes a surprised little 'ah' and his naked dick is sliding right where I want it. Well, for now. 

“Did that just-?” I turn to look and get a very nice view of Sam's ass. With his torn boxers bunched up between us. “Oh my fucking…” I trail off, laughing into the pillow. Unbelievable.

“My favorite boxers,” Sam groans, sounding absolutely pitiful. Then he slaps my ass again, and whines, “You monster! You made me break my boxers!"

“Hey! It’s not my fault your dick went all Hulk,” I snicker. I take full advantage of this development and roll my hips again, rubbing the dick in question between my cheeks. The feeling of it sliding over my hole is good, fun. A kind of tease that makes me moan quietly, working my hips over and over. 

“ _ Flark _ , are you trying to kill me?” Sam says with an absolutely illegal noise of desire. 

“If you die right now I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you,” I manage to say, clenching my ass cheeks just to hear Sam make a sound, “Mmm, fuck Sam. You feel so good. I’m so fucking spoiled.”

“You're… you're spoiled?  _ Díos _ your ass is amazing,” Sam says through breathy panting. He's rutting me in earnest now, I hadn't ever thought this would feel anything other than weird or stupid. Heh, figures I'd like it. I  **am** always a slut for hotdogs. But each pass of his cock over my hole only makes me want him inside me.

“Yeah? Mmm, how about you massage it a little more then huh? Really loosen me up.”

“You're the,” Sam gasps, “the racing champ. You just,” he lets out a thready whine, “tell me what you want.”

“Want your fingers in me,” I respond. Things with Sam are so nice. So fun. I need more.

“Yessir!” Sam says. He's teasing, it's obvious. But I imagine Nova saying that to me and it's suddenly a lot  **harder** in here. 

“Heh. Now this is good service,” I say, getting comfortable. Sam is grabbing the lube with all due haste and his earnest eagerness is refreshing and adorable. I'm more than impatient though. “C’mon Sam.” 

“I was tryin’ to be nice and warm this up, but you’re the boss,” Sam's voice is rough and it kills me to know that I'm the reason he sounds that way. Then he's spreading my ass and teasing his lube slick fingers around my hole. He barely teases, compared to how evil he'd been with his tongue the other day. Fuck, just remembering makes me wish I'd asked for that instead. But he's fingering me now and I lose myself in it.

I moan his name, ramble trite nonsense. Sam's voice just kills me, but I need to  **see** him. I twist so I can watch him finger me open, I settle again and can't decide which part of this I love most. The pleasure Sam is giving me, the sweet nothings Sam tells me, or the blazing look on Sam's face as it's all happening.

" _ Díos _ you're a twisty boy," Sam says. Fuck, I am. Is this  **too** flexible? But Sam only looks like this is sexy, not freakish and weird. Okay. Good.

“I need more. I wanna be full. Mmm, yeah. Yeah, fuck, want you to work my ass with your perfect fingers until I'm a mess and then fuck me.”

“Yeah, yeah,  _ flark _ you’re gorgeous,” Sam groans. He stretches me then adds a third finger inside me. He finds my prostate, which is good and amazing but then he says. Growls really. “I’ll fill you up, Pete. I’ll ruin you. Fuck you with my fingers until you’re begging for my cock.” 

"N-not ruin. This is good. So good," I whine. Anxious about dumb shit. But I can't ignore it when Sam pulls his fingers away. I squirm towards him.

“You're the boss," Sam says, sweet and easy and then setting to finger fucking me in earnest. "Gonna finger fuck you ‘till you beg." 

He does just that. Nova has always been a man of his word. By the time I'm begging him for more I'm barely able to tell him how I want it. But the way he tells me he just wants to make me happy grounds me. I sit up and pull Sam to me.

“You do make me happy,” I tell him. There's no lie here. My own worst enemy when suited up makes me happier than I've ever been as our civilian selves. I stroke Sam's cock slowly, kiss him sweetly.

“Good, ‘m glad,” Sam says. He slides his fingers into me again and I'm moaning and rocking into his magic fingers. It's amazing. He kisses my throat and finds rhythm with me. It's so good. I'm keeping up a steady litany of praise and rambling eager nothings. Finally when I think maybe I'm going to cum just from this, I beg him to fuck me.

“Soon as I get ready for you I’ll fuck you just how you want, Pete,” Sam says, pawing for the dropped lube. He squirts some on his dick and I stroke him a few times, slicking him up. He moans so beautifully for me.

“You're ready. I'm ready. I need you inside me now.” I say, desperate. I kiss him again and again, I never want to stop and try desperately to convey this using only my body. Sam pulls his fingers out and lines up his cock. I sink down, he slides home so easy and good and I'm so, so full.

"Yes, fuck,  _ flark _ ," Sam's voice is hushed and it feels amazing being the cause of this. He sounds so reverent it makes me feel nearly drunk from it.

“Fuck Sam. You feel so good," I confess, fucking him so slowly now that he's in me. Honestly just rocking my hips and clenching my ass around his dick, relishing how full and good this is. “God, you feel so perfect."

Sam moans and whines and thrills me by being so sweet and pliant and easy. He's hanging onto my hips with desperate strength, hot. I can't help but torment him, push him and find out what he'll do. So I lift up just a tiny bit before sinking back down. Sam mewls pathetically and I say. “You wanna fuck me?”

" _ Sí, Díos _ Peter, please," Sam moans. But he doesn't take any initiative for himself, just begs and begs me for it. I run my nails down his back and purr so sweetly, “Wanna fuck my ass until I cum all over your chest? Until you spill inside of me?”

"Yes, yes, yes,  _ flark _ ," Sam responds, sucking and licking at my collar bone. Fuck that's nice. Not nearly as nice as the easy way Sam let's me fuck him so slowly. I smirk and know it's far too wicked for how innocent Peter Parker is supposed to be. I can't make myself care though.

“Yeah?” I say, faux thoughtful as I wiggle my hips just so. Sam makes a strangled, desperate 'yes' and I hum and wiggle again. Then add, “How much do you want it?”

Sam's initial response doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's hot as hell driving him mad with pleasure. He manages to finally get out, "Wanna fuck you Pete, please!"

"Hmm, yes. We've been over that one," I say, drawing out the words tauntingly slow. Just like the steady fucking I'm giving him.

“Please! Wanna make you cum!” Sam gasps. He's trembling and that's so sexy. I can't help but torment him more.

“How much do you want to make me cum, Sam?” I purr sweetly while giving my hips another filthy wiggle. Sam makes a pitiful, strangled sound that's music to my ears.

“Anything. Everything. Whatever you want, I want it. Please! Please, please, please." he trails off into broken begging and I relent.

“That much huh?” I say, fucking him for real now, relishing the stretch of him inside me.

“ _ Flark _ ! Yes!” 

Sam's begging is doing  **things** to me. I want to give him exactly what he wants, what we both want. I start to tell him to keep telling me how good it feels but manage to find the perfect angle for hitting my prostate and trail off into filthy encouragement. I do manage to get out, "tell me how good it feels," which I'm incredibly proud of. Sam starts telling me immediately.

“Good, so good, gods you feel so good. You’re perfect, fucking perfect, Peter. So hot and tight.”

I love it. I know I'm a needy, clingy, thirsty piece of shit, but in this moment I don't care.

“Want you, want this,  _ flark _ you’re so good. ‘M so fuckin’ hard for you Pete.  _ Díos _ , I wanna fill you up. Want your cum all over us, wanna make you happy.” 

“I-I'm so close. Make me cum Sam please. Fuck, I wanna cum so badly,” I whine, enjoying the ache in my balls and the thrum of intense pleasure.

“Yes, yes, cum Peter, cum for me,” Sam reaches between us to stroke my dick. I'm so fucking hard I can barely stand it. “Fuck you’re so fucking hard. So fucking hot.”

I moan some kind of reply but don't really pay attention to what. More sexy talk, because I never shut up.

“Cum on me Pete, get me messy. Make-" Sam chokes off his words and whines then whispers, "Please, please, Peter, gods, please, I’m so close. You’re so good."

Sam's begging pushes me over and I come, getting both of us messy and not really giving a flying fuck about it. 

“Yes, yes! That’s it. That’s it Pete, cum for me,” Sam says, and I'm a nice blissful spider. Kinda wanna leap out the window too, but I know Sam isn't gonna hurt me. It's easy enough to suppress those stupider spider urges with Sam being so sweet and good right now. “Please. I’m so close Peter. What do you want? I wanna fill you up so bad, please.”

I grin. No doubt looking stupid. But Sam is such a sight, flushed and covered in my cum, I can't bring myself to care how stupid I look. I tell him, panting a bit and way more reverent than I mean, “Fuck, you're gorgeous. Come on, let go. That's it Sam, I want your cum. Fill me up with it. So fucking good.”

I pick my pace back up and ride him while saying more of the same. Much to my satisfaction, he comes quickly after this. I keep up my rambling praise and declarations of adoration while he comes. The feel of Sam cumming inside me and knowing that we're  **dating** now makes me feel so warm and happy. I belong. I'm Sam's. It's wonderful.

“That was so good. You're so amazing, Sam,” I murmur. I still my hips and settle on his lap. “Best massage ever. I mean I've never actually had one before but  **God** that was something else.”

“Massage?” Sam says, sounding completely at a loss. I laugh and kiss him. Christ. I think I love him.

“Heh. Yeah, dork. Remember? The thing you just gave me? And I don't mean your cock. I mean before the sex,” I say, laughing. 

Sam moans wordlessly at this. So I kiss him again. He finally mutters a response after a bit more kissing. “Vaguely.” 

I chuckle. I haven't felt this loose and melty and good in a very, very long time.

“What a shame. Guess that means we'll have to do it again and again and again until you remember. Truly a tragedy.”

Sam mumbles something that could generously be interpreted as 'just the worst' so I go ahead and do that. What a good guy I am. Heh.

Sam grabs one of the towels and makes a fair attempt at wiping us clean. It sucks losing the comfort of his soft dick still in me. But the way he cuddles into me is almost as good.

“What, you tired? Did someone wear you out or something?” I say, all innocent as anything. I'm not that tired, but I'm not still healing from a nasty sting. Is he still healing? Huh. Damn, I can't ask either. But either way he's really precious. And this dovetails nicely with my nefarious plan to make sure my boyfriend gets enough sleep.

My boyfriend.

“Wonder who coulda done that,” Sam mumbles. He's much more adorable than grumpy. 

“Some huge asshole I bet,” I say, then kiss him I kiss all over his face and neck, trying to be a nuisance. I add. “Just a real big jerk.”

Sam relaxes so thoroughly into my kisses that he's absolutely foiled my plan of being a pest. Damn Nova. But I'm not all that mad, not even annoyed.

“Hey, that’s my boyfriend you’re talkin’ ‘bout,” Sam says, managing a very pathetic little slap against my chest. I bite my lip, not at the slap, it'd been even gentler than his earlier fooling around. But at all of the happy, affectionate emotions swirling all around and in me at Sam's casual use of boyfriend to describe  **me** .

“Yeah. He is,” I say, then kiss the top of his head. "Go to sleep nerd.”

“You’re a nerd,” Sam retorts, barely understandable and half asleep already. He snuggles against me and doesn't even seem to notice, or care about the partially cleaned mess still on us both. He's asleep in another breath. He's so gorgeous and full of trust. So helpless and weak like this, but falling right to sleep on me.

He'd never do this if he knew who I really was.

I slink out of bed and again clean us both off before tucking Sam in. When I check my phone I realize that I have the perfect chance to do more than just hint at Nova that the people I kill are hardly innocent. Excellent. Perfect. Soon enough my webs will be strong enough to keep Sam even after confessing to him that I'm really Spider-Man.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minor character death, graphic depictions of violence

I'm webswinging when the brilliant blue streak of Nova force zooms across the sky. Huh. Sam must have been in space. Maybe our recent trip to the planetarium inspired him? It makes me feel warm in a very good way, thinking about my actions inspiring Sam. But this is the perfect chance I've been needing to clear my conscience. Shriveled and tiny though it is, I do have one.

I change direction, swinging towards Nova. I hope I find him alone. After all, I've got some wooing to do.

###  ... 

I find Nova sitting in the air underneath one of the many wooden water towers in this part of the city. He doesn't act like he spots me swinging on up to him. I land as silent as ever. He speaks, but sounds much more subdued than I've ever heard him.

“I should be in space, patrolling this sector."

Damn, something is really eating at him. He's really off his game. I can't help the quip at the opening he's given me though. I spider my way next to him, hanging upside down on a webline. “Aww, but then who would I hang out with? Heh, get it? Hang?”

Sam, Nova dammit. I do not need to slip up now! Nova spins to face me, charging a blast. I bite my tongue on the taunts, so not what I came here for. When I do nothing else, Nova stops charging the blast and hovers in front of me, arms crossed. Spidey sense stops screaming too. Thank Christ, that would have sucked.

“Yeah, I get it. Doesn’t make it any funnier though,” Nova says, all snappish and kinda scary. If I didn't know better I'd have thought he was gonna attack.

“Ooh, ouch. Why you gotta be like that Lite Brite? I'm being friendly here! And I save all my best puns for you, y’know. I'd appreciate some appreciation,” I say with over the top pouting.

“I’m touched. Really. But I’m taken. And that wasn’t your best," Nova says. My heart flips and I swoon. He's taken! By me! Oh that makes me feel all kinds of warm fuzzies!

“You're breaking my heart here Bucket Head,” I say, gotta keep up my cover after all. Can't exactly gush to Nova when he has no idea I'm really his sweet little boy toy. Heh.

"What, you got a bad deal at the black market and need it shut down? Too bad, I have more important things to do than try to find wherever they’ll run off to next time.” Nova says, sounding bored honestly.

"No, no, but man! Let me tell you I did not expect an actual space market. Black markets are usually just like… well they aren't really markets. I had a wild time.” I make myself comfy on the underside of the water tower, dropping my webline. "I’m actually here because I have a present for you, but you aren't being very niiiiice. Maybe you don't deserve it.”

“I told you I’m taken. I don’t want your creepy gifts! Did you get mind whammied or something? you’re being weird. Weirder than normal," Nova says.

“Please, as if anyone else could make jokes as good as mine.” I respond, acting offended.

“Yeah, ‘good’,” Nova says, just loud enough for me to know he's being sassy. What a cutie.

“No, no. It's just that recent events have made me think maybe you aren't as much of a douche as I previously thought. I kinda like you, Moon Boy, and yes, I know you're taken. You're very keen on repeating it. Anyways I'm willing to give you a chance, hence the present. Don't worry you'll like this gift. I promise,” I say, leaning forward like I'm going to impart a secret.

“So glad I can meet your expectations, Web Butt. What kinda gift we talkin’ about here. ‘Cause I really don’t like things that go boom when I open them," Nova responds, sounding like he's just barely tolerating things. But whatever, he's not fighting me!

"No booms! Pinkie promise!" I offer. Nova looks at my offered pinkie with a frown. But then flips upside-down so we're on the same relative plane and seals the promise. I laugh in genuine delight.

"Pinkie promise." Nova says, terse like. Then goes on. "While I wouldn’t turn down some units, I don’t accept bribes. And you don’t waste your own money, so,” the look he gives me is like he can't figure me out. I think I'm falling in love, fuck. Then he says, “I don’t want those stupid nudie mags, they’re all weird _swark’ng_ fetish _bax_.”

“Space language is weird. And sorry Mr. Vanilla but I sold those too. Do you want your gift or not? I don't have all night you know.” I say.

“You don't know my kinks!" Sam barks, his Nova glow doesn't change hues but he sure does sound real cranky.

“Touchy! I was kidding!" I say, offering my empty hands in mock surrender.

“Yeah. Okay, fine. Give me your totally not a tracking device or boom making supposed gift,” Nova says, appeased for now. I hope. Yeesh.

“M’kay! Man I wish I had a drumroll. Ahem. Okay, okay your gift is: Dennis Lackner.”

The Nova helmet makes the way Sam tilts his head to the side look even more adorable than usual. Or maybe that's just me projecting my dumb feelings. Who cares. My boyfriend is cute! And clever.

“I don't need a boy toy, and for all your evil _bax_ something tells me this isn't human trafficking. You gonna give me anything else with this guy's name, or can I go make sure this sector is gonna be here when you wake up next?” Nova says.

“He's my next victim. You want to protect people from me so badly? Go for it. Protect him. But I'm not gonna tell you when it'll happen. You wanna tail him to make sure he doesn't go up in smoke, then be my guest. That's your gift. A chance to stop me before he dies.” I'm deadly serious now and Sam, well he wasn't really moving so he doesn't still, exactly. But there's tension crackling now where there was maybe just a light simmer before. We keep staring, I've no idea what Sam is waiting for but then he goes and makes me so proud and happy by being so clever!

“The forty something modeling agent or the twenty something engineering student?”

“You're so clever aren't you Sparky!” I say, chipper and bright now. I can't help it. I confirm, “The modelling agent.”

"Okay," Nova says, tense. "I seriously have to patrol this sector for a cycle. Give me your word you'll wait thirty two hours and I won't see if your part _axngboxng_ the fun way.”

“I’m on a time crunch here. Thirty two hours is a long time… especially if you get caught up in whatever you do up in space and stay gone longer. I'd hate to tell you I'm gonna wait and then have to get on with it before you even get a fair chance."

Sam blows out his breath, clearly frustrated. He makes a few more noises and I **try** to not think about fucking him just yesterday.

"Fine. Okay. You're right. I'll probably get caught up in who knows what and be gone way too long even with an actual time crunch. Look, just." Sam groans and looks just so exhausted that I feel guilty. He finally says, "Gimme a minute. Don't go anywhere."

He doesn't even wait for my response, but he doesn't zoom away either. He seems to turn inward, focusing on his thoughts on something I can't see. I wonder about his helmet and what it's like, using it. Does it talk to him? Is it just a plain AI or does it have a personality? Sam looks so serious when he finally seems to finish whatever he'd been doing.

"Right then. He's suspicious as Hel on a horse. I need to be closer to access his desktop, assuming he has one. Seems likely. You're coming with, stay out of trouble," he tells me. I have so many questions! So I pester him the whole way there.

I even manage to put together a few things from his unhelpful responses. His helmet lets him search the planetary networks, but not people's personal devices. I don't know what his helmet's range is on personal devices though. Then we get there. Nova sets me down next to him on the next roof over and very sternly orders me to behave while he does his thing. I wait. I'm expecting his horrified cursing, which he does in English, Spanish and space-ese; he's no doubt seeing some absolutely horrible kiddie porn from this monster's computer. I'm not entirely expecting Sam to turn away and dry heave though. Damn, that's rough.

“Still think he doesn’t deserve this?” I say, merciless.

When Sam is done he manages a response. It's not what I want but it's shaky and weak. “Killing people is wrong. This… this asshole should face the judge. Get the slammer. These kids deserve justice.”

“Justice? You think they'll get justice from the court?” I say, low and cruel. Sam needs to wake up and see the world for what it is. I go on. “Greg Smythe was friends with bad cops. He was never once convicted. Chance Andrews **was** a cop. Roger Romanov and Francis Ferrier met in jail. Half of these monsters are out on parole faster than some schmuck who stole a car. And they're much more eager to re-offend than some idiot in for grand theft auto.”

Sam makes a wretched little sound. It sucks but he surely can't still believe that no killing bullshit **now**.

I manage to sound a bit kinder as I say, “Jail is better than they deserve.”

Sam stares into nothing, shaking and quiet. I wait with him, patient as any spider. 

“Earth is an Asgardian Protectorate,” Nova says, voice sounding too flat. But this tells me nothing.

“What? What does that mean?” I ask, it seems completely unrelated. Like maybe Sam is doing even worse than I'd imagined with this revelation.

“It means… It means that Odin’s word is law. The weak can call on champions to battle to defend their honor or make right wrongs. And if the weak are unable to, then a champion can nominate themselves,” Sam says. I stare at him, pleasantly surprised. It sounds like he's perhaps willing to let me keep on being Spider-Man. This is better than I'd ever hoped for. I huddle up close to Sam, Nova, and pretend we're just in a sports game. Baseball? Do they huddle? Whatever, sports are Flash's thing.

“Okay. Here's what's going to happen Sparky. I have this bastard webbed up in the other room. I’m going in there now, and I'd say you have about… mmm six or seven minutes to call in your Avenger friends or to stop me yourself. I might not fit the bill of ‘champion’, God knows these kids deserve someone better than me, but I'm the only one who's willing to do what has to be done.” I say, I pop my spikes, too. Sam rests his hand on my shoulder.

“You need a witness, and he can’t be tied up.” Sam tells me. I scoff.

“He doesn't deserve to be free. He deserves to be as helpless as they were,” I say, cold. Then flashing hot I snarl. “I don't give a fuck about the laws. I'm a criminal remember? Would it make you feel better if I said he struggled before I tied him up?”

“I’m **not** breaking the law! You may not give a _flarg flark_ but this helmet is a promise! I **have** to uphold the law! It's everything this helmet represents! Look, if you can't kill him right then you be my witness!"

"Uh, what?" I say, trying to make this fit into what I know of Nova, of Sam. My answer is Nova hauling me along with him through the creep's window. He finds the creep, drops him in the middle of the apartment, and rips off his bindings. I'm still trying to process this. I am going to… watch Nova kill a man? The apartment is a mess, Sam hadn't bothered to open the closet door first. Or move slow enough to not knock everything over in his wake.

“P-please Nova, save me. This fucker just broke in and-” this asshole begins. But Sam cuts him off immediately.

“Shut up _níðingr_ ,” Sam snarls. His eyes are a pretty terrifying white. Nova force bleeding from them almost like fire. I don't know what that word means but it sounds like an insult if I've ever heard one. And buddy, I've heard a lot.

“What? But you're a hero, you saved me!"

“By Odin’s Law I challenge you to restore your honor or die. This witness is _drengr_. By Asgard we duel. What say you?” Nova spits out. I also have no idea what that word means either.

"Shouldn't you be squashing the spider? What the fuck are you talking about with all that Asgard shit?”

I sigh. This is why I gag them. They never have anything clever or interesting to say. It's all the same shit, every time. But hey, I've definitely swayed Nova! That's good, right?

“I’m oathbrother to Beta Ray Bill who is oathbrother to Thor. I’m the protector of this galaxy and defender of the innocent. Enjoy Helheim,” Sam says. Before smashing the guy's throat so hard he practically turns the spine into bone powder. Holy shitting fuck.

“Damn! Kinda wish I'd brought popcorn for that. Nice job Sunshine, but I do have a few pointers. Number one? Webbing on the mouth really takes care of that whole annoying Chatty Cathy thing," I say, rambling to hide my nervousness. That had been brutal, efficient. I suddenly remember how Sam had dragged the Avengers for being space racist, bigots, whatever. I say, as sympathetic as I can manage, "This your first kill, Sparky? It'll be okay. I can clean this up for us. And hey, listen, he deserved it. Deserved a slower death honestly. That's why I use the stingers most of the time. But, hey, it's gonna be okay. Next time how about you leave the brutal bit to me huh?”

"I've killed people before, Webs. Just not humans," Sam says. God he sounds so tired. My heart aches for him. After a moment he asks "are humans always so twitchy? Makes me think he's gonna get back up like a zombot."

“Eh, depends. Why don't you go home Moon Boy. I'll take care of the cleanup," I offer.

"Can't. Gotta patrol this sector. Maybe swing by Asgard and talk with Frigga."

"Well, chop chop Sparky, this sexy sector isn't gonna patrol itself. Like I said, I'll do the clean up for us."

Sam shakes his head, but instead of arguing he says "Fine. Since you're so _das't_ set on it. I'll find you when I get back. Later."

And he's gone, just like that. 

I survey the mess he's left me but before I can get to work my phone buzzes with a text. I smile to myself under the mask when I see it's Sam.

_gotta be incommunicado 4 a few days Work stuff sry ): Had a blast today <3 see u soon _

I shoot off a quick reply and hope he gets it before getting out of range.

_I'll miss you dork <3 I had fun too. Be safe secret agent man _

  
  


Poor Sam. What a hell of a thing to take with him into space. 

### ...

It's about three days later when I wake up at ass o'clock to a text. Literally only Sam and Flash have this number. A text now from either of them definitely means I need to wake up. I'm annoyed but I'm always annoyed at being woken up. Nothing new or special there. I manage to grab my phone on the third try. Even dimmed to its lowest setting the damned screen is too bright. Ugh. But it's Sam! He's back!

_hey cutie can’t sleep wanna cum have sum muffins_

I laugh to myself and shoot him a text back.

_Secret Agent Man returns! Fuck yeah I want some muffins! I'll be there in a bit!_

I'm, quite honestly, worried about Sam. I hadn't expected any of what happened the other day. Especially for him to actually kill the guy. Maybe he'd have agreed that jail was too good for them and let me do my Spider thing, that was about it as what I'd thought I could expect. The way Sam had trembled after, his voice when it was done… The way he'd kept staring at the body like he expected it to rise up again any second… fuck. I wish I could have done more at the time. But it'd been impossible without compromising my secret identity.

I hope that for tonight at least I can give him some peace.

The trip to Sam's place is a blur to me. Once I'm there, I'm pissed that I can't go in through his window. Now **that's** stupid. I spider my way up the stairs, trying to shake off the irrational anger.

Sam had texted me to come on in and I do, the divine smell of fresh baked goods hits me like a wall. A nice, painless wall of delicious smells.

“Hey Big Shot! Hope I didn’t wake you!" Sam says, he sounds way too awake. I lock the door behind me.

"Nah, I told you Babe, you didn't wake me up," this lie is easy. I'm always awake for Flash and now Sam.

"Good, good. You seemed like you keep weird hours like me." Sam says, then shoves a muffin in my face.

What can I do but take a bite? Fuck, it's good.

“This oughta make up for it!” Sam adds. Even though I've been insisting that he hasn't woken me up.

“Woah, okay there Turbo, hi to you too!” I manage to say after the taste. I'm kind of floored by the sheer number of baked goods in sight. How long has Sam been back? And finally taking him in, frankly, he looks terrible. Like he's running on fumes and the gas ran out twenty miles ago. "Uhh, are you having a bake sale or something?”

"What? No no no, just for fun!" Sam insists. I take another look at the cookies, turnovers, muffins and other sweets I'm too tired to think of the names for. Right. Sure looks like stress to me.

“Um… are you okay?" I say. Knowing good and well he's nothing near okay.

“Huh?” Sam blinks at me, bewildered. Then he looks around his own apartment as if seeing it for the first time.

"You look like you haven't slept in like, ever?” I press.

“I slept!” Sam says. He's so sure that I almost believe him. But seriously? I look at him with my best 'I know you're lying now fess up' face. He immediately adds, "napped. I've napped."

"Really." I say, deadpan.

"Yes! Lots of naps!" Sam insists. I might be willing to believe that but...

"When's the last time you slept, really slept Sam," I say, letting my worry out. Sam sort of wilts at that.

“We slept. You were there," he confesses.

Oh, fucking **hell**.

“The last time you slept was-? Okay, that's it. C’mere,” I grab Sam's hand, tugging him into his room. How had this idiot survived without me around? Or had things been easier before I was in the picture? Guilt twists in my gut. But now isn't the time for self loathing. Now is the time to take care of Sam. I can angst later. Or even during. I'm just special like that. Sam at first comes with me easily, then balks suddenly. 

“Wait, wait.” Sam says. I'm half tempted to pull him along regardless, but he sounds so anxious. I'm not sure I've ever heard Sam, Nova or otherwise, sound **anxious**. When I turn around Sam is hiding his face by looking down, the set of his shoulders has adrenaline crashing through me immediately. It's like he's about to dig in and fight me, but that's when he's Nova and I'm Spider-Man. If only I could tell my body that.

“Look, there's stuff about me you need to know if we're gonna date. I know you're just kidding when you call me a secret agent, but I kinda am. And I don't want you getting into this and finding out I'm not what you thought. I can't tell you my job title, my employer or even give you any kind of schedule. I'm going to be here for weeks then gone. I can't always control how long those jobs take, sometimes it's short like this time, and sometimes it's weeks or even months." Sam looks up at me and my heart breaks. I keenly remember him casually telling me he couldn't keep a boyfriend because of his schedule. But before I can do more than feel rage at the nameless bastards that dared to hurt him, Sam continues on. "If I **am** gone for months I totally understand if you move on. But if you stay with me, please, you need to know that on top of the shitty schedule sometimes I have to kill. I usually save people but sometimes that's not what I've gotta do." Sam takes a shaky breath and I want to hold him close and kiss his pain away. But that's stupid, and selfish. I let him keep talking. "I get that's a really _flark'ng_ , fucking big problem for most people. You can leave, right now. I'll delete your number and never call you again. No hard feelings.”

Sam tries to step aside, out of my grip. I guess to give me a clear line to the door. But I don't let him. I pull him in close and hug him as good as I can. He shakes and clings to me like I might vanish any minute.

"The people you kill, they're bad people, right? You said you're not a mercenary," I say. Guilt eating away at me.

"Yeah, can't tell you much but I'm not a merc. They're the worst. Nothing else I can do sometimes," Sam says, he's crying now. God. I'm such a piece of shit for putting him through this.

“Okay. Then I just have one thing to say to you. Thank you," I tell him. I'm not done but he actually sobs at this. Christ. I go on, petting his back as soothingly as I can. "Not everyone can do what you do. And some of the ones who can don't do it with intentions nearly as good and selfless as yours.” I can't help but think of myself. Of my own not nearly so selfless reasons for being a villain, of my web of lies and secrets I'm hiding from this amazing, selfless man. I need to come clean soon. I know I'm already in too deep. If Sam rejects me I'll fall apart. I kiss him softly and tell him, “I'm not going anywhere. Not until you kick me out.” 

“Never! You're stuck with me,” Sam says, basically collapsing on me. The need to protect Sam, keep this man safe and happy no matter what, burns in me.

“I really hope so,” I reply, quietly. 

"Are you kidding me? Peter you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long, long time.” Sam says, kissing my chest. Poor guy is too tired now to even lift his head up to kiss my lips. And hearing him say that makes me so insanely happy that I'm amazed I'm still alive.

“You might be the best thing that's **ever** happened to me. But there are things I should tell you.” I say. I can't tell him now though. He's barely holding himself up as it is. “But not right now. Now you need to sleep.” 

Sam mumbles agreement. I can't help but pick him up and carry him to his bed. Sam doesn't seem too terribly surprised. But he's also literally falling asleep as he tells me, “Mmm. You're so good to me Pete."

“Sleep well Sam,” I say, pulling him into bed with me. He settles on my chest and I pet his hair, trying to soothe him. Sam falls into deeper sleep, and I think. I wish I'd killed that bastard to spare Sam this pain. And hell, while I'm wishing for impossible shit, I wish I could take back every single time I've attacked and hurt him as Spider-man. But what's done is done. I kiss Sam sweetly and get up out of bed. It takes all of my willpower to not get right back in at Sam's displeased sleepy mutters. The apartment is a mess. The least I can do is clean it up. I can curl back up with Sam when I'm done. For now, the kitchen.

Sam wakes up not too long thereafter, nightmares of course. No wonder he hasn't been sleeping. I soothe him back to sleep and get back to work.

I'm close enough to finished that by Sam's third nightmare I decide to call it a night. This isn't good for Sam, and honestly isn't great for me either. I fall asleep after soothing Sam again that I'm here, and will still be here until he gets rid of me. He doesn't wake me up from nightmares again, and I fall asleep curled against him. 

When I wake up I'm confused but not anxious. No need to pop my stingers or anything like that. Sam has got black out curtains. Thank fuck or I'd have been awake with the sun. Still, I don't really want to get out of bed. It's not like I've got anything urgent happening today. Not with Sam back and in some very clear need of love and attention.

Sam is warm and almost as clingy as me in his sleep. It's perfect. I could absolutely get used to waking up like this. I breathe deeply, taking in the scent of Sam. It's good. A lovely way to pass the time while waiting for him to wake up. It only takes a bit longer, and then Sam is stretching and nuzzling against my chest.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty,” I say, kissing the side of his head. I keep kissing him and add some lazy caresses to the mix and ask, “You sleep okay?”

"Mmm, like a rock," Sam says, leaning into my touch. He adds “This make you my prince or my dragon?”

I pretend to think it over and finally say, “How about I'll be your prince on the streets and a dragon in the sheets."

Sam makes a lazy noise of agreement and then sighs as I pet all the way down his back. I finish the pet with a good handful of amazing ass. So firm. So juicy.

"Feels nice," Sam murmurs against my skin before mouthing soft kisses there. I can't help but agree. This does feel nice. I manage to get Sam to kiss my lips and that's even nicer.

“How you doing?” I say, between kisses.

“Much better,” Sam says but then pulls back to look at me with anxious worry.

“You're… you're seriously okay with… me running out at weird times, maybe never coming back or… ” Sam trails off but not quite long enough for my sleepy brain to catch up before he goes on. “Cause I don't know if I can handle you leaving because of my job after today. Not that I'm pressuring you! Shit that sounds so needy, _flark_. I'm sorry, never mind, just-" I press my finger to his lips to quiet him.

“If I wanted to leave I wouldn't still be here Sam. Believe me I… I don't deserve you, but I'm not going anywhere." I'm terrible, I don't say. I choke on the confession of my super villain self. I'm a coward, always have been. 

“I like you. I want you. And someday maybe, you'll want to run from me, or I'll want to run from you, but until then I'm here.” Sam tells me.

We stay like this for a while, cuddled up and enjoying each other's company. Eventually, we have to get up, if only to take care of morning business. When I check the time I'm surprised to find I've been asleep for nine hours. Damn, I didn't think I could even sleep that long uninterrupted anymore. Sam's been asleep even longer, nightmares while I was busy cleaning his space not included. Sam looks adorably bewildered at his clean bathroom, but doesn't say anything then. He frowns at his clean bedroom on the way to the kitchen, awake enough to notice it now. At the sight of his now super clean kitchen Sam stops in his tracks and gapes a bit like a goldfish. It's silly and endearing.

"I know I did **not** clean this kitchen," Sam says, sounding totally flabbergasted. But in a good way. Like he's delighted but can't quite be sure I'm the one that did this. Wow, really? I didn't do **that** much, did I? It's not like I did his laundry for him! Not that he'd **had** any dirty laundry yet. But still.

"Must be benevolent apartment cleaning Gremlins," I say, innocent as can be. Sam laughs, maybe a bit too loud but I adore him anyway.

"With my luck?" Sam says, once he's done laughing. We have a breakfast of pastries and sweets and coffee. It's absolutely mundane, normal, and boring. It's also absolutely amazing. We talk about relatively light things, especially compared to the heavy shit from last night. Through it all, Sam can't keep his hands off of me. But it's endearing and lovely. It's not sexy, exactly. Intimate. Yeah, that's it. It's casual intimate touches and it's filling up a meter in me I hadn't known had been empty. Eventually, the topic turns sexy. And a little bit sweet.

"Hey so, I know I accidentally hit some boundaries I hadn't meant to and I'm really sorry, Pete. Is there anything else you want me to know about? No telling you how you'll feel, no using ruin, and…?" Sam says. 

I'm kind of totally flustered. I've never had a conversation like this before? I sputter a bit, no doubt looking like a fool. But Sam just drinks his coffee and waits. I manage to finally say, "I don't know?"

Sam hums thoughtfully and sets his mug down.

"I mean, I've never really thought about it like that? Like, what are things I tell my boyfriend to watch out for? Or what things might trigger me? Uh, gee, maybe?" I ramble on. I've actually only ever trusted Flash enough to be myself when we fuck. And until the planetarium with Sam I'd literally never been on a date. But somehow I don't think 'well you see, I've only ever fucked to get something I wanted, sometimes just to feel the rush of pretending to be innocent,' will go over that well.

"Babe, Pete, you're overthinking it. And it's def not supposed to be stressful. Chill. It's cool. Just let me know if there's anything you know you don't like and I'll do the same, okay?" Sam says, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Oh," I say, it still feels like that's not actually what I need to do. But Sam's absolute inability to lie helps me tell my anxiety it's wrong.

"Yeah, nerd. This isn't a test," Sam is smiling and I feel a real, shy smile on my face in response. "Like, I really love making you happy. When you don't like something, I don't want to do it. But I'm being mushy, let's see, sex ways I like knowing that you're feeling good and having fun. And while I **do** like it rough. I don't like getting my skin cut, or bleeding. And, actually really **hate** being restrained. No cute fuzzy handcuffs for me, sorry."

Sam takes another drink of coffee and I turn this around and over and drink my own coffee. Once I've got this sorted out, I address what I feel needs to be said first, "I never, ever want to hurt you. Breaking your skin sounds frankly horrifying, I might literally just keel over dead if that ever happens, wow. "

Sam chuckles and squeezes my hand again. "I figured it wasn't your kink but it's good to get that out there, you know?"

I don't know, actually. I've never had a conversation that was anything like this before. But I don't want to tell Sam that, it sounds pathetic. I should say something, though.

"You're right. I don't like being told things like 'just take it and like it'. Stuff like that makes me uncomfortable? Anything too rough I don’t… I don’t like those bits. Not done to me, I think I can be rough to you, especially if you tell me how to do it. I don't um... I need to see you. Not on my stomach with my back to you, I don't like that." I say. I manage to make literally everything a question. Great.

"Okay. Good. We'll start with this and figure it out as we go, yeah?"

"Yeah," I say, smiling like a sap.

"Now, real talk," Sam looks so serious, "where the _flark_ did you get polka dot pajamas in your size."

Damn, he got me. I thought he was really gonna say something life changing here. I laugh. Happiness floods through me, I retort "at an adult store! For adults!"

"Uh huh, sure you did." Sam says, teasing me. I give him a look 

"Are you suggesting that I made these?" I say. Sounding incredulous.

"I mean. If the pajamas fit…" Sam says, still managing to look serious, for about two more seconds before giggling. I laugh too. Everything with Sam is so good, so fun. I love it.

We spend the rest of the 'morning' together. Kissing and snuggling and talking about nothing and everything. It's wonderful. I don't confess to being Spider-man. I already know I'm an evil shithead. And while I might not deserve any of this happiness that Sam is giving me I take it all the same. It's easy enough to reason away Sam being in too delicate a state right now to handle my confession. I'll tell him soon. The time just isn't right, not yet.

“So… your sister is thirteen you said? Is the rest of your family in New York too?” I ask. I want to know more about Sam. Honestly? I want to know **everything** about Sam. I haven't cared about someone like this in a long, long time.

“Yeah, mom moved here with us a while ago, I was, uh, fifteen?” Sam says. He thinks a moment and goes on, “Hmm, yeah. Fifteen! Been here for eight years now. And let me tell you New York is nothing like middle-of-bumfuck Carefree, Arizona! There’s so much to do here!”

“Arizona?! You came a long way,” I say, then pick out a tasty looking muffin from the absurd amount of stress baking I'd packed up last night. It's different than the one Sam had fed me. Still delicious though. 

"Yeah, pretty far," Sam agrees. He's been keeping up a steady pace of demolished baked goodness with me, I guess being Nova really takes it out of him. I get up and take both of our mugs for a refill. Mmm sweet sweet bitter caffeine.

“C’mon, though I’m sure you could at least find something to do there as a kid. Must have been a lot better than living in the city.” I say, I can't really even imagine it. Being without the light pollution or the constant noises of city life? Sounds more alien than the moon.

“Ugh, no. I could skate from one end of town to the other in an hour. There **was** a skate park, but, uh, it got busted up. New York though! New York has so many skate parks I didn’t know what to do with myself,” Sam says, he sounds happy and when I look up he's grinning. But then he sighs and shakes his head. “I haven’t had time to replace my board since last time it got smashed. No time to skate anymore, anyways.”

“Sounds like board smashing was a common thing for you. I bet I could have kicked your ass at the skate park.” I say, bringing back his mug of now fresh coffee. I settle next to him on his sofa and reflect that for New York this is actually a really nice apartment. I make bank as a villain and my place isn't as nice as this. Yeah the building maintenance is shit but that's pretty common these days. Unless you're filthy stinking rich, that is. I suppose I could **technically** afford a place like that, but it makes plain old Peter Parker a lot more noticeable and interesting than is good for my cover.

“So many cool boards lost. Now? I bet you **could** kick my ass. But back when I still practiced, no way! I’d have kicked your ass for sure!” Sam says, it's so Nova that I grin. The longer I'm with him the more little things like this I'm noticing. It's amazing. I adore it.

“You were that good huh? What else did you like to do? Or was it just skating?” I ask. I sit my coffee down and when Sam does the same I cuddle up to him. He accepts this and even starts playing with my hair. If I was a cat instead of a spider I'd purr, I swear I'm that happy.

“Totally. I kicked all the ass. Hmmm, taught myself Morse Code, brushed up on my calculus, and, uh. Worked out," Sam says. Right, worked out. Sure. In space maybe.

"Calculus? You an honor student then? That's usually honors stuff in highschool, right?" I ask. As if I don't know good and well what's honors and what isn't. But not from my own stint in public education, no. I dropped out early, wiped away all legal records of Peter Parker and moved on with my new life. Nah, I know this because of the kids at the foster homes.

"Oh, nah, I didn't actually graduate high school. Got my GED though. Taught myself calculus for my dream job. Which I got, b t dubs," Sam is again Nova levels of cocky over this. Nova is his dream job? I guess I could understand, he gets superpowers and can go anywhere he wants. Even into space.

"Damn Sam, and you call **me** a nerd? Calculus is **the worst** , why would you do that to yourself?"

Sam doesn’t answer, instead he laughs and ruffles my hair. But quickly goes back to nice, indulgent pets. A spider could get used to this.

"Gratz on your dream job. Is it still all dreamy?" I say. I can't resist the attempt to learn more about how Sam feels about the Avengers, or maybe even just being Nova. Sam heaves a deep sigh. 

"I dunno, I love helping people, but… well my… co-workers don't always agree with me and they definitely have a bigger say in what I get to do than **I** do. It's really frustrating." Sam tells me. Just like I thought, those assholes run roughshod all over my boyfriend. Not only are they racist asshats, they can’t even appreciate the team members they have. Typical. But then if they did appreciate Nova, he wouldn’t have been so easy to sway to my side. What a conundrum. Then he says, “What about you, Big Shot? Any other hobbies besides giving the Fantastic Four new ulcers?”

"Honestly I was mostly sciencing. And reading. Yeah that’s right, I know. I totally earned this nerd cred,” I respond, grinning.

“Oh man, not reading. What a giant fucking nerd you are. Reading words. I bet there were so many words they had to put them in a book!” Sam says, teasing and sounding scandalized. I laugh.

“Sometimes there were so many they had to put them in more than one book,” I tell him through my giggles. 

“ _flark_ no! More than one book! The horror!” Sam says, cracking up.

"Tell me more about the magical land of Arizona?” I ask him after we're both done laughing.

“Arizona is hardly… okay actually sometimes there was magic. But usually not the pretty fun kind. But whatever. I had a girl there for a while, but-” Sam trails off, after a moment he finishes with “talk too much, weird hours. It was definitely too much for a couple of teenagers to keep up with!”

"I dunno ‘bout that, but **I'm** happy to have you," I say, I lean up and kiss him. He kisses me back and we spend a bit of time making out. It's really nice. Sam starts talking again once we're back to snuggling.

“So you’re from here, you stay here all your life or did you get a chance to go out and see the world?”

“Nope. I’m a plain old boring New Yorker through and through. I’ve never been anywhere else,” I tell him truthfully.

“Well, it’s a big world out there," Sam says. I wonder how big Earth really is, to Nova. But I can't ask him about that.

“Maybe someday you can convince this city boy to go adventuring. I bet Arizona is nice, I wouldn't mind seeing it sometime,” I say. Fuck, I feel so sappy it's embarrassing. I'm a villain! But I don't care.

“If you really wanna be bored out of your mind, sure. There’s plenty of way better places on Earth. Like Tokyo, a big city guy like you should do just great in Tokyo. And London, umm, Amsterdam and Svalbard- no you probably wouldn’t like being so far away from everything… Stockholm, maybe."

“Hmm... I think I could be convinced to go anywhere, as long as you plan on coming with me,” I say. Just thinking about this is making me stupid happy. Even if we never actually do any of it, I'm still happy just thinking about it. And having Sam think about it with me.

“We can make plans. You like nerd shit, we’ll find places with, like, observatories and fancy museums. Though… _The Met_ is pretty fancy, I dunno if you’d actually like- Oh! We can go to the Smithsonian!”

“Bestill my heart, you’re gonna take me to museums? I’d say you were just trying to get into my pants but we kinda passed that step already.” I say, unable to hide my happiness.

"Yeah, we kinda have," Sam says, sounding happy. When I look up at him he's grinning. I think I'm grinning too.

"Speaking of getting into pants, what are some things you know you like? I like getting you off, I really like oral. There are a few kinky things I like, too, but totally n b d if you're not into it! I like Dom/sub play. Being called sir is fun, calling you sir could be fun, too. Sometimes it's real nice to let you take charge, like with the, um, the massage and everything. That was really good," Sam says and now he's blushing. That's too fricken cute. I smooch him, unable to resist.

"I had a lot of fun then, too." I admit, once I'm done with the kiss. I feel suddenly shy, talking about how it’d been. And it'd been really good, especially having Sam so pliant and eager to please me. Tentatively, I add. "I like making you happy. I really like knowing how good I'm making you feel, you're so responsive, I love it. And, um, yeah. Everything we've done has been great, honestly."

"Yeah?" Sam says, looking so pleased and, and smitten. God he's smitten with me. Me! I'm definitely falling in love. It's going to kill me but I kinda figured if anything did kill me it'd be Nova. I’m not even that upset over it.

"Wanna know what I like best though?" I say, feeling bold and mischievous.

"Tell me," Sam says all eager and precious. I smile and kiss him.

"Kissing you," I tell him, after the kiss. He sighs a happy 'yeah' then moans low and hungry when I grind down onto his lap. "Making you feel good." I kiss him more, all over his face and especially his lips. He kisses me back, definitely enjoying things. I keep up my slow, smooth grinding and tell him "Making you happy."

“You’re unbelievable, Pete,” Sam tells me looking wonderstruck and adoring. I smile foolishly back.

"No you," I retort. Proving once and for all that I'm the most adultiest of adults. Between kisses I ask, “Do you wanna go another round? Or just make out for a while?"

"Mmm, why not both?" Sam says, then with a gleam in his eye he adds, "those pajamas have got to go though. Sorry."

"You don't sound very sorry," I tell him with my most fetching pout. I lean back and run my hands up my body, it gives me Sam's full attention and **that** gets me all giddy and pleased and excited. So I put on a little bit of a show. 

"I'm really not. You're amazing," Sam tells me, watching my little show. His hands are very firmly on my ass and once my top is off he pulls me in for more heated kisses.

"Charmer," I accuse. But I can't really sound anything other than delighted.

We kiss and strip on Sam's sofa. I blow him and swallow him down like he's always so eager to do for me. Sam talks praise through it all, telling me how good I am and it's great. Just the best. Makes the disgusting taste of jizz worth it, honestly. 

"Wanna fuck my face again?" Sam says low and eager and **yes**. Yes I fucking do! Maybe I can even pin him under me and literally fuck his mouth. Like I’d thought about last time but hadn’t been sure enough to do.

"Yeah, fuck, that sounds great," I tell him. I move so that I'm sitting on his chest and ask, "is this okay? Like this I mean?"

"Hang on," Sam squirms around a bit, freeing his arms and getting situated. He holds onto my legs and nods. "Okay, yeah. Flarking hot, let's go."

I know I say something teasing, but I've only got eyes for Sam. As in I'm doing everything I can to not **literally** choke him on my dick while **figuratively** choking him on my dick. It's pretty freaking awesome. I come pretty quick, Sam starts swallowing me down and a flash of something greedy, possessive, downright filthy hits me and instead of letting him swallow it I cum on his face. Fuck, he looks so good. Especially with how he pouts up at me.

"Wasn't I good?" Sam says, all cute and sulky. I think I'm missing some subtext here because I'm kinda confused. My mouth had been running like usual and I'm sure at least some of my nonsense sexy talk had been about how fucking good he was.

"You're mine," I tell him in response, not entirely sure what I should say to that. His pout melts away into delight. I think my heart stops. He's amazing.

"And you're mine," Sam tells me, happy as anything. Now it's my turn to look stupid happy. Then he reaches up to thump my chest and I let him up. Right. He grabs his boxers from the coffee table, heh oops, is that where they went? Anyways, he wipes his face with them and says, "So have you ever done any Dom/sub stuff before, Pete?"

"Um, not really, no," I answer honestly. Sam makes a thoughtful sound and I add, "I mean I think I can try, with you, but I  **don't** want to be tied up. I definitely don't want to be hit or hurt at all. So I dunno really what kind of things that leaves us?"

"Don't fret babe, it leaves us plenty. I'm just gonna have to try new things too," Sam says, smiling all soft and pleased at me. I beam back at him. He looks thoughtful for a bit then says, "well, wanna talk about it a bit? Figure it out? Totes don't have to if you don't wanna."

“Huh. I… guess we could talk about it. I mean, we don’t have to do it right now, right?” I say, I don’t think I’m up for that yet. 

“Absolutely babe, we can talk or not talk or kink or not kink, whatever you’re comfortable with,” Sam says all warm and reassuring and most of all believable. I feel myself relaxing even further.

“Okay. If it’s just talk then I can talk all day and all night. We’re good, I’m good,” I declare. Sam smiles at me and I feel like a million bucks. I go on and say, “Well, how would it work, exactly?”

"Well, you'd call me Sir. And, you know, you can stop me with 'no'. Unless you'd rather safeword?" Sam says. 

"My safeword is Uranus," I reply with nervous reflex, Sam snorts at my joke and I go on, "but seriously I can't think of anything or any kind of stuff where 'no' wouldn't be enough. So, uh, yeah. Let's stick with that for now? Um, Sir?"

"Of course, Dearie, no means no, clean, simple, easy. Did you like the dearie?"

"Yeah, yeah that's nice. Honestly? I love when you use little pet names for me. It's uh, it's really nice," I admit. I'm more nervous now than I've ever been killing people. Jesus.

"That's adorable. Okay, Hot Shot, I'll keep up the pet names," Sam tells me, smiling all soft and fond. My heart flips over in my chest. He looks at me in a way that I don't even know how to interpret, other than it makes me feel like I'm floating on air.

"Now, I get it if you don't want to say anything. But I gotta let you know that I was definitely still awake when you picked me up like I was a feather. And I just want you to know that I still like you. I know people with powers can get a lot of shit, I just wanted to let you know that I'm a safe space for you.” Sam says.

I stare at him panicking for real now. I blurt out "It doesn't weird you out?"

"Oh sweetheart you're perfect, handsome, lovely and kind," Sam says. I'm really not any of those things but it feels so good to hear Sam say it that I don't protest. Sam goes on, "I promise you nothing you do will weird me out. Surprise me, yeah sure, but I have Seen Some Shit, my love, that humans are  **not** meant to see. Whatever your powers are, I'm not gonna suddenly hate you for it."

I'm stunned speechless. It's overwhelming how open and trusting and caring Sam is. I admit, "I think I love you."

Sam looks so warm and fond, he presses his hand to my face and says, "I'm exerting so much effort in not making a Star Wars reference right now. I just want you to know that. Also… I'm kinda falling in love with you, too, Pete."

"I don't like Star Wars, so effort noted and appreciated," I say. I feel like I'm forever stuck at the apex of a web swing, that thrilling jolt of adrenaline from transitioning to swinging high to falling before I shoot another line. Except I'm right here in my boyfriend's apartment, web shooters safely hidden in my backpack.

We're both in love!

We don’t do anything sexy again, just cuddle up and relax. Sam keeps telling me how good I am and I think I’m actually starting to believe him. At least a little bit. I know I’m evil as they come, but… maybe I’m at least a good boyfriend. That’s gotta count for something, right? At least a little?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, since this is no longer an RP but an actual story some things had to change. Like wow there was A LOT of smut in that RP I had totally forgotten HOW MUCH PORN was in it lmao. Hopefully its still enjoyable anyways.


	6. Chapter 6

I've got a hit tonight but I'm much more keyed up over it than usual. It's going to be my first hit since getting to watch Nova turn a creep's neck to paste. He'd told me to come find him if I wanted to be some kind of space viking or whatever. I much prefer my method of killing to Nova's, but… I really want Sam on my side. I mean he is! But I've fallen hard for Nova, much as I hadn't planned it. And, hopeless as it is, I **want** Sam to like me even after I confess to being Spider-Man. No, not want, **need** . I **need** Sam in my life like I've never needed anyone before. It's terrifying and exhilarating all at once. So I swing by one of my more villainous lairs to sit and have a think. It's a warehouse, it looks condemned from the outside and a little bit on the inside too. But I've secured my new space furniture into a mock parlor room. Sam had basically given me his blessing to steal this. It's a nice reminder of Nova's less than heroic tendencies. And it's hilarious and functional, too!

I know Sam is out right now as Nova, because he'd told civilian me he had work. I know from previous much more malicious experience that hunting Nova down is actually incredibly difficult. Especially considering he glows! But I'm not left waiting for much longer, my Spidey sense starts tingling up a storm and I spring away into the rafters. It's not tingling hard enough to suggest someone is about to imminently unalive me but… something dangerous is definitely about to happen.

And that something is Sam finding me. Well, **Nova** finding me. Sam has never once set off my spidey sense in civvies.

"Spidey, I know you're here!" Nova says, voice booming in the darkness. He's glowing, looking very dramatic indeed floating between the doors. 

I clap my approval, the acoustics make it sound like it's coming from everywhere. Not that I think for a second that Nova can't find me immediately with his stupid cheating helmet. From the unpleasant way my whole body is still tingling I seriously doubt he's here to make out. This is not good. I call out, “Very dramatic entrance! How’d you know I was here Sunshine? Have you been watching me? S’a little creepy don’t you think?” I slink my way over so that the traps are between us before continuing, “But wait! How rude of me! Allow me to welcome you to my parlor, Super Nova! To what do I owe the pleasure? I kinda doubt you’re here for tea.”

“Maybe I like tea, you don’t know,” Nova snarks back at me. Heh, he's such a contrary little shit as Nova. Is it no wonder I had a hard time believing sweet, loving, easy Sam was really this cocky, contrary braggart?

“Then I'll fetch you a nice hot cup,” I say with forced cheer. I really don't like the clang clang clanging buzz of Spidey Sense that Sam is setting off. It's wrong. Sam would never hurt me as Peter. Only, of course he has no idea Peter Parker is really Spider-Man, so the handicap of fighting my boyfriend is all mine. I’m so not looking forward to this.

"Don't bother, I've got my own drinks if I really need them," he says, before slurping dramatically loudly from… his suit? That has to be recycled waste water, a polite and sciencey way to say recycled **piss**. Mega ew.

"Absolutely disgusting, but okay then. What can I do ya for, Light Bright?" I chirp out.

"Well, you see Webs, I had a nice chat over in Asgard with The All Mother, Lady Frigga. And I've been given her blessings to go ahead and execute any pedophiles I find. She also, funnily enough, praised you for being such a noble and righteous man," Sam informs me, from the wry twist of his lips he finds this declaration as bizarre as I do.

"I'm, I'm sorry? What? Are you okay? Am I okay? Did we die? I thought murdering tied up people was cowardly and unworthy? Definitely setting fires is like, bad. I'm sorry, Sparky, you're gonna have to go over this again. With some more actual explaining. Because I have no idea what's happening, except maybe a stroke," I declare. I'm at a loss, honestly.

"I didn't go into detail on the way you killed them but honestly? Frigga can be vicious so I doubt she's got a problem with it. This is her jurisdiction, by the way, I know you've probably got oh, zero understanding of cosmic level politics or laws but it means you aren't actually murdering anyone, just killing them. Very important legal distinction, webs." Sam tells me. He had been so adamant that he wasn't breaking the law before. Though I guess it is **him** telling me this is legal now, too. I know he's such a shitty liar that he's being truthful. It still doesn't make any sense.

"I'm… what. I'm killing people, but **not** murdering them? What kind of fucked up shit is that?" I say, still a bit in shock.

"Asgard, man. There are plenty worse aliens to be in charge, honestly. Which the aesir absolutely are, by the way. Earth is Asgardian Space, I'm operating here because I'm Thor's oathbrother. So we're family. Otherwise they'd be pretty pissed that any Nova was running around their Space, much less **me**. Hella insular people, the Aesir. But enough politics," Sam's grin is sharp and as villainous as it gets. The clang of Spidey sense makes me nervous as hell. But all he does is keep talking, "let's go kill some pedophiles, Webhead."

I fall off the ceiling, beyond shocked. I do manage to catch myself before hitting the floor at least. But how embarrassing. He tilts his head and smirks but stays silent. He looks hot and evil and perfect. His wicked grin does extremely embarrassing things to my body and I find myself babbling a bit more than usual.

"Wow okay, let's just ignore this adrenaline boner cause hahaha yikes my bad. And did I hear you right? You wanna come join me on my next mission? Because it **is** tonight, you know. Well I mean you don't know but okay yeah, awesome!"

"Oh yeah? Cool. I guess I'll watch you do your thing, but nah Webs. I meant I'd like you to be my witness tonight, there's a lot of people we've gotta kill and only so much time to do it! Yours will be one of the last, I'm thinking, since I'm sure you're gonna burn the place down. We don't need the heat that'll bring, and it'll be hella suspicious if Nova doesn't make a flashy entrance to hunt you down. Not that I'll really be looking, don't worry Spidey. No double crossing from me, kinda ruins my credibility with Asgard if I'm a known liar," Sam tells me. Not that I’d actually been worried about a double cross. Not from **Nova**.

"Have I been unalived? If this the afterlife? No, no, no I'm going to hell for sure. This is real life. Okay. Okay, fuck, okay. Go hunting assholes with my archenemy? Amazing, yes. Yes! Let's do this Sparky! But, uh how’re we gonna not get caught?"

"You're _flarking_ ridiculous. I've got a plan. We're going to be using the sewers. No surveillance down there, and almost every building in this city has direct sewer access," Sam informs me. He’s so clever and perfect!

"You see! This! This right here is why we're arches! You fucking get it! Fuck, wait are we arches still? Do we have to fight for the adoring public? Not gonna lie, as fun as fighting you can get I really don't wanna hurt an ally. That's just not Kosher," I say. This is amazing. Stupendous, incredible. I can hardly believe my luck! If only I'd already confessed my identity, then we could be doing this as a date!

"Hmm, well, I'm not going to go around shouting it from the moon or anything but I'll stop busting you. As long as you **try** and keep the collateral damage to a minimum, Webs," Sam tells me. I swoon internally, but on the outside I do a little victory dance.

I swing my way to him and there's still no violence at me. Sam is absolutely bloodthirsty, though. **That's** why he's setting off my Spidey Sense. He wants to get dangerous, he’s ready to kill. He probably doesn't **want** to tango with me, not with how downright friendly he's being, but he'll fight me if I provoke him. Noted and considered. No provoking the Nova tonight. Definitely not tonight of all nights!

"Where's the sewer access, Webhead?" Nova asks me. No doubt wanting me to show him the safest route through my lair. I'm only too happy to oblige. But once in the sewers we don't scamper away immediately. No, instead Nova pulls up and projects a three dimensional topo map of the city, below ground structures included! Though there are some places that are blank, I guess from no data? Anyways, he's got quite a few targets picked out.

"Yowza, Spark Plug, you've got a party for sure. Who did you want to hit tonight? Oh this asshole is mine, ready to burn and everything." I say, pointing at my target of the night. It lights up and a cute little spidey logo appears beside the creep’s icon. "But my distractions are on a schedule I can't change this late in the game, so we've likely got less time than you'd budgeted for."

"Figures. Ugh okay, give me a tic," Sam tells me. The number of highlighted targets drops to a still ambitious six, the targets **aren't** close to each other. That must be deliberate on Sam's part. Making it try and seem random, hopefully unrelated, to the crime scene investigators.

I'm definitely in love.

"Okay, still extremely hopeful of you but... hmm let's try this order," I say before tapping three targets and then mine. "We still might have to cut it down to two. And actually, I'm assuming you've done some kind of Intel gathering here. These creeps are all alone tonight? No innocent bystanders right?"

"Hmph, I should be offended. But we've never really worked together before, so I'll pretend you're not insulting me. Barring any unplanned _bax_ these are clear for tonight," Sam tells me. Nova, Nova tells me. Fuck I can't slip up now. Not with Sam acting how I've never imagined he could be. I know him but clearly not well **enough**. I've got no idea how he'll react to finding out Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Especially all ready to kill other people as he were.

"Just checking, sheesh Sparkplug I even check my own plans, it's not an insult, it's kept me alive and in one piece! I've even managed to save a few kids with my paranoid checking of plans you know," I tell him, annoyed and uneasy. Everything happening right now is new and unplanned and unpredicted. Therefore unpredictable. 

"Oh, okay then," Nova says, looking much less likely to tear my head off now, thank goodness. "My bad, Webs. This is really your party, it's my first time doing this kinda thing on Earth. Are these the plans? Get on and get sticky, we're gonna book it."

"Why do you always make it sound so disgusting," I complain with over the top pouting while I pounce onto Nova's back. My confirmation turns into a shriek of manly surprise as Nova takes my pounce as agreement. Needless to say, I spider-stick to him as well as cling like a limpet. He's moving fast and pulling some major gees on every turn. It's a goddamn harrowing experience to say the fuckin least. With every turn my Spidey Sense screams at me of imminent danger and the gees don't feel that nice either. Why are the sewers so twisty? Whyyyyy!

"Ngggh holy fucking shit, I was wondering where the brakes on this thing were,” I blurt out as soon as Nova stops. Everything is all queasy and not exactly about to barf but it is **not** my favorite experience. "A few times there I thought you were trying to knock me off.” 

"And yet, you're still here. Amazing." Nova says, dry as a desert. Which I guess makes a kind of sense since he's from a desert but Spidey doesn't know that. Right.

"Wait, **were** you trying to knock me off?" I say, anxious over unrelated shit and trying to get it out of me.

"What? No! You're super sticky anyways!" Sam sounds genuinely upset. It's incredibly endearing that he's worrying about what Spider-Man thinks of him.

"Yes, that's why I'm still riding you, bucket head. **Despite** the full rodeo treatment I might add. But anyways, down to business. C'mon Space Boy," I say, hopping onto the wall and spidering up the ladder to the access. Nova follows me, glowing dimly. That might be cute when he's hunting me, but it's not gonna cut it now.

“Okay, I think this maintenance room has window access," Sam says looking around, but I've already assessed the place and no windows to the alleys. It's boilers and pipes and other shit to keep an apartment nominally running with hot and cold water and working toilets. This isn't my specialty so I don’t know exactly what, okay? Anyways, Sam goes on, "or elevator access."

"And so it does! Alright! Let's—" 

"Wait wait, we can't just take the maintenance elevator! What if there's cameras. Even shitty apartments usually have closed circuit cameras **there**! We'll have to go up the shaft-"

"Heh, shaft," I interrupt with maturity. Nova completely ignores my valuable input. Rude!

"-and come around outside. Don't want to risk any civilians seeing us in the stairwell, or hallway."

"True, true but precious as you trying to be stealthy while flying is, and it's really fucking precious believe me, that's not gonna work here. Everyone except ol triple J loves Nova, they're always snapping pics," I tell him.

"Flark, you're right. _Flarking bax-"_ Sam starts in on what I'm sure are some pretty impressive swears that I can't understand a lick of.

"Woah there Turbo, Spidey's got your back! I'll carry you!"

Nova stops his space swearing to stare at me. He does not look agreeable.

"You're a taken man! I remember! No funny business, villain's honor!" I say, trying to project sincerity and my winsome smile through the mask. He grunts and nods. Success!

"Fine. Okay, here," Nova says with a curt nod. But then he calls up another holo map, this one of this building and the surroundings. There's even little routes highlighted for me!

“Nice job Sparky. I need you around more often!” I say with a whistle of appreciation.

"Well, hopefully this won't be a one time thing, Spidey," Nova says with a grin.

"Nice," I say, biting back my quips. They all involve dates and romance which Sam really doesn't appreciate from this guy that is not his boyfriend. At least as far as he knows for now. Soon, I promise myself I'll tell him.

Sam floats over to the doors to the maintenance elevator and very carefully forces them open. There's no trace of his super strength having been used. Fuck, that takes some control. I know from embarrassing personal experience. I also know which floor and which window to use to get to this filth's flat, thanks to Sam's helpful map. I try and think about that instead of how incredibly hot my boyfriend is. The elevator isn't on this floor. I wonder if Sam knew that or if he was just lucky. It's hard to tell sometimes. Like him forgetting his glow being a beacon when he's clearly thought everything else through. Sheesh. But I crawl up with him and we squeeze around the elevator car to get up higher. Only Sam isn't with me in the access above the elevator. Then the elevator moves down a floor and I nearly have a heart attack.

"S- Nova!" I whisper fiercely. Fuck.

"Yeah sorry that was me," he whispers back. At least he has the grace to sound chagrined!

"Holy fuck warn a guy! I thought you were Nova paste!"

"Sorry," he says, not sounding sorry at all! But then he floats up to me, right in my space. It takes me a second to remember that I'm carrying him outside of here. He says, "Seriously, Webhead, didn't mean to. I'm the, um I mean, ah fuck it. I'm usually the hacker, especially doors and shit, Earth tech is embarrassing, honestly. Just kinda forgot I wasn't off Earth for a tic. My bad."

"Oh, damn Sparky. Wish I hadn't misjudged you for so long. That's pretty tight," I tell him. I make my way to the outer doors and open them. I also leave no evidence, thank you very much. Sam hangs onto my back the first chance he gets. It's nice, really nice, even without the strangely gentle feel of his Nova glow. But then he's talking. Quietly. Right against my ear. Or it would be if the mask wasn't in the way. Fuck.

"Thanks. It's fun. But you're gonna need to web my arms and I'll have to be a sack of potatoes, or carry my on your front somehow,"

"Just in case someone snaps a pic. Fuck I think I'm-" in love with you even more now. I cut myself off before saying it and instead say, "in like like with you."

"This is way better than fighting, damn," Sam tells me. If only I could kiss him! Instead I reach up to where his arms are resting on my chest, crossed and waiting. I secure him by muscle memory, which is good because all I can think about is lazing about with Sam and how he'd told me how he hated being tied up. Hated it so much he didn't want any semblance of being restrained when we fooled around. Well, not in those words, no. But he'd made sure his arms were free when I'd sat on his chest. Fuck. This means so much to me right now.

We're both silent as I make our way up the building. Sam dutifully acts like an unconscious hero to any prying eyes as I carry him. I use my Powers to stick him to me so his tied wrists don't choke me. Ask me how I know that happens. I dare you. And then we're here. The window isn't into a bedroom but into a living space, it's dark and silent. A quick check shows me no security alarms on the window so I slide it open and slink inside. Once out of line of sight of the window Sam taps my chest and I sling him around. He rips off the webbing and shoves it in his mysterious pockets of extra space. Dimensional pockets, was it? God everything he does is so perfect and good. I should tell him it dissolves in an hour, but not now. No. Now I think I'm about to watch my perfect boyfriend kill a monster.

I love him so much.

Sam looks at the door for a long moment, then nods. "She's alone."

Then he's pushing the door open and everything is an exciting blur of adrenaline. Sam announces her name very dramatic like, and then declares, "you are an honorless violator charged with the rape of children. By the law of Asgard you are to be executed. Stand and fight or die in your bed."

She spews the very typical bullshit, with a dash of 'what the fuck your Nova's tossed in. It's almost funny, actually. Then Sam decides she's had her chance to chose how she's dying and in a flash of white-blue he punches her in the sternum. Bone breaks and she chokes and gasps and wheezes. 

"Damn Sparky, I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to this. You're fuckin brutal."

"Oh, like your venom is a treat?" he snarks back at me. Our audience of one is gagging and coughing up blood now.

"You wound me, Sunshine," I say with a pout.

"Yeah, yeah. Ugh, I should have smothered her. No murder investigation then. _Das't_ ," Nova sounds annoyed. I hum in sympathy, that would have been good. Oh well.

"So what's with the different spiel this time, Light Bulb? I thought it was Odin's law and weird moon language words," I say. If we're waiting here until she's dead then might as well stay entertained.

"Huh? No that was Asgardian, not Xandarian. Kinda like ancient Norse, I guess. But that was, uh _flark_ what'd I say… oh! Right! Honorless and honorable! I was following the law, but like, the law in general. This here is a direct mandate from the top. So I don't have to be as exact," Sam tells me.

"Sounds like a headache, t b h. Do I gotta say all that cause honestly? Sounds lame," I tell him. 

"Hah. I'll say it for you, don't worry." Sam tells me. He's so touchy about things that I wasn't entirely sure he wasn't going to snap about the law being so freaking important or something.

"Wait, you called me… honorable?" I say, unable to sound anything but surprised. He'd definitely insulted the creep, not me. Honorless seems like a pretty serious insult to space vikings, anywise.

"Yeah, of course," he says, then seeming to pick up on my confusion he says, "like I was saying before, killing isn't bad under Asgard law. Now lying about having killed **is** a crime. Real serious too. And being an oath breaker. Those are two of the worst things to be. That's what being honorless is. Other things too but that's the most important. And you've never lied about having killed, and when I gave you the chance you kept your word. So yeah, you're honorable."

The bitch is finally dead and Sam walks over to the corpse to smack her a bit, I tell him, "she's dead, Sparky, c'mon. Times a wasting."

"Yeah well, never can be too sure. But you're right. C'mon."

He again climbs on my back and waits for me to restrain him. We make our way back into the sewers without incident. Our positions quickly reverse and I'm again in for the ride of a lifetime that I'd really rather not. But I'm too busy thinking now to be too scared. Sam thinks I'm honorable! Spider-Man me! Maybe… maybe it's not going to all go to shit when I confess. Hope flickers unwanted and unasked for in my heart.

Before I can get too lost in thought, we're here at our next stop. Once we're up into the maintenance room I place my hand on Sam's shoulder. 

"Hmm? What's up?" he looks over to me, eyes a calm Nova blue.

"I just want you to know that I'm, I mean, I feel really, really bad about wanting you dead. You're actually a really stellar guy and that would have super sucked if I'd succeeded. So, um, I'm sorry for trying to kill you. Glad you're still here," I tell him, as sincere and honest as I get. I can't read Sam's expression, but then smiles softly and gives my hand on his shoulder a little pat.

"Not the first time one of my friends has tried to kill me, probably not the last. We're good, Webs," Sam tells me. There is a window access here, and after Sam's helpful map trick we're off again.

"We're friends?" I'm smiling like an idiot and don't care one itty bit. "Kinda concerned about the rest of that but you know, if you need me to stab anyone I'll be fuckin delighted."

"Noted." Sam says, muttering quietly against me. The Spidey suit keeps anything fun from being felt but I shiver all the same.

This time the light is on. Sam complains under his breath then tells me that the mark is right there. There's an awkward moment before Sam tells me, "throw me through the window."

I don't hesitate, and I'm following him like a tick instead of a spider. There's more drama and nonsense; this time Sam executes the filth with a neck strike. But instead of leaving we wait.

"Uh, the creep is dead my little lightbulb. We can go," I say.

"Yeah… I mean I know he's dead but how long do they twitch? I just flarking hate the undead, they're literally the worst," Nova says.

"Well that's happy, but he's gonna twitch for a long ass time. It's chill," I insist.

Sam is silent for a bit, and much as I hate this I wait him out. After only a little bit, with the creep still twitching, Sam nods curtly and gets on my back. As we're climbing into the sewers I start to say something, "hey, uh, I kinda have something I really need to talk with you about. "

"Seriously? Can't it wait? We gotta jet, hang on," Sam tells me, I cling to him and we're off. Fuck, what time is it? I should have checked! But this isn't taking nearly as long as I'd feared. We still have time enough before my 'appointment'.

When we get to the next target's access point, Sam tells me, "so what is it, Webhead? Spit it out!"

“I- this isn't really something I can rush through Sunshine," I say, sounding pathetic to my own ears. I study the map and nod. “I… I'll tell you back at the warehouse. It's about me. About who… Never mind. Time's ticking. Let's go."

"If you're sure," and from the way Sam says it I feel a sudden rush of warm affection. He sounds concerned! Concerned over Spidey and how he's doing!

This creep actually tries to fight, but he dies just as brutally efficient as the last filth. Nova kicks him in the side and he crumples like wet cardboard. He's probably dead before he hits the ground, or at least numb from shock. It's a shame too, that looks incredibly painful. 

Once we're back in the access I start talking. "So as fun as this is, carrying you like a trophy I mean, it's probably not gonna work long term. We need to figure something else out. Too bad you can't cloak yourself from cameras and shit. Seems like an oversight on the Nova design team. But whatever, maybe I could stick you to my chest or.." 

Sam grunts acknowledgement but then we're in the sewers proper and he takes off. I keep talking to myself about potential solutions on the way to our destination. My turn to kill for Sam to watch. Once we're there, I suddenly really don't want Sam to be here. It'd been very different, being the witness. But for Sam to see who I really am? I'm suddenly terrified.

"Hey so, maybe we have some time to talk?" I say, stalling.

"Yeah? I know we've had some shit before but that's void behind us now. Don't worry, Spidey, I already know you kill people **and** burn up their buildings, I doubt whatever you're trying to say is worse than **that**." Sam tells me. Fuck, I think I'm crying now. I can't help but remember how sure he'd been that nothing I did would drive him away.

"It's- it's not about that. It's, I'm, I know you, I can't, I can't keep lying I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than me, Sam, but I can't show you who I really am without you knowing that I'm," I pull my mask off, "I'm Spider-Man."

Sam is silent. His glow going all weirdly blackish. It's not as terrifying as the white tinges it gets before he kills, or when he's enraged. But I'm terrified all the same because I've no idea what it **means.**

“Sam-” I say, voice cracking. “Sam I- fuck I wanted to tell you who I was. I really did, but you **hated** me! Kinda wasn't the best time for a confession with you taking my d. Kinda really fucked up, actually. I had to- I couldn’t. Sam please!” 

"You've known… This entire fucking time?" Sam's voice is low and terrible. I choke back a sob.

"I'm so sorry. I'm, I didn't know on the bench! I didn't know until, until, fuck. I stung you, three times. Didn't see the scars until-" I do sob now, "until we were on your bed. Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Sam. You're so good and kind and never deserved anything I did to you, please. Please Sam," I'm a weepy snotty mess and don't even know what I'm pleading for.

Sam doesn't speak. He floats over to me. So close. I don't run, even though I'm sure he's about to pulp my neck or crush my rib cage. I deserve this. I flinch when Sam rests his forehead against mine. The Star on his helmet digs in painfully to my skin but his glow tingles nicely. I hope his touches stay gentle like this.

“I’m so sorry Sam. I fucked up. I just wanted you to understand. I needed you to see why I do what I do before… I didn’t want you to hate me. I’m so- fuck, fuck I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m really, really pissed. Like so pissed right now. But.." Sam still sounds scary and then he sighs and says something amazing. “I don’t hate you.”

“I’d be shocked if you weren’t pissed. I’m… I’m so- I’m not what you thought. If you want to run I understand. You’re more than I deserve,” I say, sniffling like an idiot. I stare at the triple star emblem on his chest. A symbol of how much better than me Sam is. How much more noble and heroic. He is a **hero** and me? Well I'm someone who lied to save his own ass and hurt Sam in the process. Sam is one of the only people in the world now that I **don’t** want to hurt. Sam wipes away my tears, tender and sweet.

“I really couldn’t say about that. I mean, I’ve killed billions of people out there. Yeah, to save trillions more, but... Killing is killing. And I really, royally fucked up, like, all the time when I first got this helmet," Sam laughs, harsh and cruel. I think it's at me until he goes on, "I accidentally helped slavers sell their cargo. At least one of them was a kid, probably all of them. I was so _flark’ng_ stupid," he looks away like he can't bear to see my reaction to what he's saying next, “I’d already killed millions before I was even sixteen. I’m no hero, just an idiot space cop.”

The only thing I can manage for a bit is shaky breaths. I'm so scared, so scared that I can't even give Sam the comfort of a hug. Too scared to kiss him wherever I can reach in gratitude for him not hating me.

“You’re a hero Sam. I **never** lied to you about **that** . About how **good** and **wonderful** you are and how hard you try. You do what needs to be done, and you do it from the **best** place. Your intentions are so fucking selfless Sam. Not like… fuck,” I'm sobbing now, my shoulders shaking. This isn't how this is supposed to go. This isn't the plan at all! Then Sam wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a good, amazing, wonderful hug.

“Hey, hey, you aren’t like, a hundred percent a dick. Those kids love you! And you… Oh my God, you fucking nerd. You rob from the banks, flip it, and give it to an orphanage. Are you _flark’ng_ serious?” Sam says. He starts off all sweet and kind but then ends with a hysterical laugh.

“Y-you figured that out huh?” I sob, and laugh, and well, we're both kind of hysterical messes for a bit. When we're both a bit less nuts, Sam kisses me. I can't help but return it with everything I have. I have no idea what's going through his mind but this might be the last time I get to do this. I want to make it count.

"We should get moving," Sam tells me, before kissing me again. I make an agreeable sound. We really should. Especially since I still don't know the time. But there's no way Sam will still want me after this. I'm going to take these kisses as greedily as I've taken everything else he's given me. Eventually, he stops kissing me. Looking at him I realize that I hadn't been the only one crying. Christ, I'm such an asshole.

"Sam…" I don't know what else to say. I've already apologized, not that it'll ever be enough. I tug back on my mask and try again, "Hi. My name's Peter. I kill bad people. Wanna help me execute this pedophile tonight? Maybe go back to my place to talk things out? 'Cuz I really like you, and I'm really sorry, and I promise that there won't be any secrets between us ever again.”

“Hey Peter, the name ‘s Sam. Funny story, I kinda kill bad people too,” Sam says with a too wet chuckle. I want to die. But I can't tell if it's from shame or hope. Then Sam adds, his hand moving to my face, “I think I really like you, too.”

I think I'm grinning so big that he must be able to see it through my mask.

This time he snugs himself right up to my chest, I give him a big squeeze then we make our way up to the bastard on my list. I'm absurdly self conscious about it all, but once Sam confirms that it's just the target here, we head in and I do my thing. I web his mouth shut immediately and cheerfully inform him that by order from Asgard he's to be executed immediately for being a pedophile. Sam doesn't say anything, but I feel his approval radiating like his glow isn't. The creep struggles, like they always do. I web him to me and show him my stingers.

"Now now now, you're dying tonight. It's true. But we can do this the easy way, or the fun way," I say in my best villainous tones. He pisses himself and no doubt begs for easy. But I tell him, "oh? You want to have some fun? Well what a co-inky-dink! I do too!"

The sad sack before me tries to scream, tries to break free of my grip. I usually web them up, but Sam's brutal efficiency has inspired something in me. An urge to show Sam how kind he's still being even while killing these monsters. I drop the bastard and break his legs. Fuck, it's so satisfying, sending them off with the helplessness and pain of their victims.

"Whoopsie, looks like I forgot to tell you this fun is gonna sting like the Dickens! But I'm sure such a pretty little boy like yourself can take it, can't you," I coo with false sympathy. Right before stabbing my stinger into his groin. His screams had turned into sobbing but this new pain makes him scream and struggle in renewed desperation. I fling him into his coffee table, the fancy glass shattering and metal warping around him. "I'm sure you can take it! You'll even like it, won't you pretty boy?"

My timed charges go off. A little bit early though really right on time. But the fire alarms scream and I grab my patented Spidey accelerant capsule and deploy it on the wreck of a monster now paralyzed in the ruins of his stupid coffee table.

"My bad, I usually don't boom so soon. Oh well, I'm sure you don't mind! Here, let's get the party really started!" I crow, before lighting a match, tossing it on him and pouncing behind Sam. What? He's flown directly into enough fires before that I know I'm not being a dick, just practical.

Sam doesn't really do much except glow up. But then he tilts his head to look at me and laughs, evil as they come. Fuck I'd been so right. This is the most amazing and wonderful thing to ever even.

"And **you** call **me** brutal? _Das't_ , Webs. You're _flarking_ nuts," Sam tells me, his grin sharp and vicious.

"Um, thanks? But not to neg you or anything, we've got to scram. There's kiiiind of a fire and I really prefer original to extra crispy," I say. But I don't wait around, I bring Sam with me as I web swing away. Not very far away, I admit. Just a few rooftops over. I like to admire my handiwork from a **safe** distance.

Sam nuzzles into the crook of my shoulder and I am so incredibly happy that I'm sure something terrible is about to happen.

"You gotta get out of here, Storm is on planet, he'll be here any minute. And I've gotta get far enough away that I can fly back," Sam tells me. Oh. Huh. Well, it's kinda bad, I really hate not getting to watch the places burn up.

"Right, yeah, okay. And… and after? You'll… you'll let me know when you're done and come over to my place? To talk?" I say, still not leaving.

"Yeah man, of course. Think you can gimme a bit of a lift?"

"Huh?" I say, thrown for a loop. 

"Web swing me away with you, nerd," Sam says, exasperated. I blush in embarrassment and am sure he can see it even with my mask in the way.

"Oh! Right!" I say, before grabbing him in a bridal carry and scramming. It's only a few more blocks of this before Sam taps me and I swing us way up on the top of some billionaire's tiny microdick compensating massive skyscraper.

"Thanks, I'll see you soon. Stay safe," Sam tells me, before lighting up and rocketing away. I watch him much longer than I can actually see him. There's too many city buildings between us for me to actually see the fire proper. Just the pure warm glow of it on the skyline. I'm too exposed up here though, so I make my way back down into the comfort and safety of my city.

...

I'm scrubbing away the stink of soot and sewer when I get a text. I'm out of the shower like a spider rocket, but it's just Flash confirming some business shit. Ugh. Of course it is, he's the only other person I trust to help with my hits. But even as I'm glaring at the screen a new text comes in. From Sam.

_ Works over Big Shot time 2 show me ur digs and talk abt feels _

I send him my address and tell him to message me when he gets here. The rest of my shower is both too long and too short. I run around the place trying to clean it up. I've literally never had anyone over here before. This is my actual home, not the front I've got set-up for Flash, to keep him safe if anything happens to me. But something whispers treacherously that I'm lying to myself, the real reason Flash doesn't know my actual address is much less selfless than what I tell myself. I shake it away.

Then Sam is here and I let him in, sure again that Sam's rethought this whole boyfriends thing.

"I can't believe your place is shittier than mine. What the  _ flark _ man. Though I am jealous of your building maintenance," Sam says as soon as he's through the door. He sounds more nervous than I've ever heard him.

"Heh yeah, well, I've got a nice TV?" I say gesturing to the thing on my wall. It's nice enough, but wasn't even top of the line when new.

Sam looks at it critically then shrugs. I'm only just now realizing that the periodic table of elements shower curtain is probably going to be embarrassing. And that picture of Einstein here in the living room? Definitely embarrassing.

"Man, Pete, I hate to break it to you but I think the guy that lives here is a major nerd," Sam tells me with a teasing grin. My stomach does flips at the teasing.

"Yeah, have you seen these glasses? Ultra nerd, definitely a poindexter,” I say with a grin that feels weak even to me.

“Mmm, kinda have a thing for nerds. Dunno if you noticed,” Sam says, swanning on over to me. But all he does is rest his hands on my hips. I honestly feel more nervous now than I ever did before. If Sam's feeling anything like this too, boy can I relate.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey yourself," Sam says, expression going soft and warm and making me melt. "Whatever we're going to be, we're both involved here, okay Peter? It's gonna be rough, and probably end with us dying dramatically but, you know I kinda always figured on that, really."

"I mean I always hoped you'd kill me but this is much, much better," I tell him. He looks at me like I've said something strange but then he chuckles.

"That's fair, but I've gotta say, I don't want to fight you again. And not just because you're vicious, I don't know if I could hurt you again," Sam tells me.

"Oh Sam, I  **know** I can't hurt you! You've got no idea how terrified I've been that we'd get in a fight before I could tell you!"

"Yeah well, now  **I** know, and now we're  **both** in trouble," Sam says, smiling wryly. He's not wrong.

"I'm always in trouble," I say, then much less sure, "Uh, could I… can I kiss you? Are we still? Is that a thing we can still do?"

"Yeah, I've had time to cool off," Sam says, I grin like a fool and kiss him. It's short and relatively chaste. Sam kisses me sweetly back. I'm definitely in love. After the relatively sweet kiss, he says, "No one was hurt in the fire, they never are honestly, everyone had evacuated by the time Nova showed up," 

"Good, I'm glad. You have no idea how many fires I had to jump back into back before I learned to set charges. And before I was notorious as an arsonist," I say.

" _ Flark _ , I can't believe this," Sam says with a laugh. He slides his hands on down my back and into my back pockets. I'm still grinning like an idiot and now I'm blushing bright red too. "It's like a flarking  _ telenovela." _

"I think you mean a  _ telenova _ ," I say waggling my eyebrows. Sam groans like he can't stand it but squeezes my ass and nuzzles up against me.

"You're terrible," he says.

"Yeah, well, you're Stellar," I say, smiling one of my shit eating grins into his hair.

"Villain," he says, and I think I can feel him smiling against my neck.

"Hero," I retort, hugging Sam tight.

"I'm really not," Sam says, kissing my neck. I shiver. He really is.

"But you are though, you're the most honest and heroic man I've ever met," I insist.

"Seriously?" He steps back, showing me his disbelief plain on his face. "After  **tonight** you still think I'm a hero?"

"Absolutely. Without a doubt. You killed those bastards cleaner and faster than they deserved. I mean, you saw  **my** methods for yourself. Though I was rushed and it was kind of tame, honestly. You know how evil I  **really** am and, and I literally have never done a thing in my life to deserve you. I have no idea how I've gotten so lucky. I love you so much, Sam," I say. My throat is tight and I think I might start crying again. Sam moves his hands from my pockets to hold my face. When his thumbs wipe away wetness I realize I'm already crying. I'm frozen. Nearly paralyzed with wretched, terrible hope.

"I think I love you too, Peter," Sam tells me. "Even though you're as evil as they come. I love you. You're mine. My boyfriend, my villain, my partner in crime. I'll kill for you, I'll die for you-"

"Either way, such bliss," I say along with Sam, finishing the quote. "Fuck, you're so fucking cheesy and amazing and perfect."

"No you," Sam says, booping my nose. Then he sees something in my kitchen that alarms him and says, "you cook food in that?"

I turn to see what he could be so worried about and realize it's my very non-standard toaster oven, I chuckle and tell him, "well I cook  **something** in it, but it's not food. Don't worry."

“I’m actually, incredibly relieved you don’t put food in that,” Sam says with a shake of his head. The next thing he tells me sends a flush to my face and warmth blooming in my chest, "You know, I’m not that worried that  **you** are gonna accidentally blow this place up with your kitchen chemistry, either."

“Aww you have so much faith in me,” I say, bantering my warm fuzzies away. Then more seriously, “I'm very careful. All the dangerous stuff happens at a safehouse. The stuff I do here is like school project volcano level science. Well, at least to me it is.”

"Yeah, I'm sure it is. You actually are pretty  _ flarking _ amazing, you know," Sam tells me. I still can't believe him. But… he is literally the worst liar I've ever met. He must be telling me the truth.

"So, where you wanna sit for this? As much as I adore you, we do need to have a chat," Sam tells me, looking serious. My heart plummets down into the basement and I'm anxious all over again. At least he didn't say 'we need to talk'.

"Uh, the bed. It's better than the couch, and also not covered in paperwork and bullshit," I tell him, he raises his eyebrow but doesn't comment. I blush and stammer something stupid anyways.

"Chill. It's okay. The bed it is, c'mon," Sam tells me. 

"Right, yeah, okay," I say. Then, after another incredibly awkward moment. At least on my part. I lead Sam to my hastily made bed. We sit down side by side, but I don't know how close I should be. When Sam turns to face me, he presses his knee against mine and relief rushes through me. And then he just infodumps space politics right in my lap.

"So, I absolutely want us to work. But we've got a big problem. My job, being Nova. It's enforcing the law. Not planetary laws, actually, cosmic level laws. Back when there'd been an actual Nova Empire, it was a  _ das't _ sight easier on me. I could get away with more unsavory enforcement kinda things. But now… I'm the only Nova left. I've found almost all of the helmets by now. But… Rider took his with him when he sacrificed himself to save this entire universe. It's the only legal way for me to be  **the** leader of what's left of the empire. Right now I'm acting head of state, basically. And even if most of my citizens don't give a  _ schlag's _ asshole about Earth and what happens here, it's really important to me that I do this whole leading almost a trillion people thing the right way!"

"Uh wow, okay… you're… you're like, a president then? The people voted for you and everything?"

"Uh, not exactly, no. The Nova Empire isn't democratic, it's uh… Nova Prime's word is law. But it's not really Nova Prime, the person. Nova Prime's helmet has a connection to the Xandarian world mind, it's the  **only** helmet with that connection and no one knows how to make another one, or make mine have that connection. The world mind is  **really** what's supposed to be governing the empire, with Nova Prime acting as it's voice. I'm just kind of doing the best I can with what I have, I can like, talk to the Worldmind, but I can't really interface with it! It's so frustrating! It's given me it's conditional blessing as acting Nova Prime but it gets so pissed at me for still having ties to Earth! Like, what, I'm just supposed to abandon my home and family for this eternal consciousness of every Nova to have ever died an honorable death?!"

"Erm… That sounds like a whole hell of a lot to deal with. Yikes," I say. Where the fuck do I even begin with this?

"Oh my God, it is!" Sam says, looking so relieved at my kinda lame attempt at sympathy that I wonder if I'm the first person he's even told this to.

"Do your teammates know anything about this?" I ask. The look Sam gives me tells me everything I need to know.

"Yeah, they know, they just don't give a shit that I'm the only thing keeping Earth safe from more direct cosmic interference. They're so busy with all the stupid shit here that they can't imagine I'm doing anything other than seeking their attention with my reports because they  **still** treat me like a goddamn  **child** . Bitching at me for all the property damage our fights cause, even when I win! And fuck, don't even get me started on their blatantly racist antimutant bullshit. On top of not even giving a single fuck that I've killed literally billions of aliens. You wanna know what they told me when I confessed to feeling like shit after single handedly destroying a city ship carrying millions of alien  **families** ? 'What are you so messed up over, it's just a bunch of aliens.' What the fuck, Pete!" Sam finally stops talking long enough that I can speak.

"Yeah, see,  **this** is why I hate those sanctimonious bastards. They act like they're so much better than us but can't even give a single fuck about actual important shit!" I say, agreeing entirely with Sam's sentiment. I'm not entirely sure where Sam is going with this and us but I'm absolutely sure he needs to get this shit off his chest.

"Yeah, man, fuck those guys," Sam says, looking preciously excited about declaring this. 

"Except please don't actually do that, I would be so sad. So very sad and also concerned. I'm not entirely sure Dr Banner can be fucked without going all big green and mean. Ouch," I say, rambling just a bit.

Sam laughs. It's too loud and lasts a bit too long but I find it way more endearing than I ever thought I could. When he finally settles down he's looking at me with such open, naked affection that I'm blushing all the way to the tips of my ears. He then turns me into a stuttering mess with just, "thank you, Webs."

I manage to fumble out an entire sentence before Sam touches his hand to my face to get my attention. He rests it there, too warm and real on my cheek.

"Seriously, I kind of had no idea all that mess was stuck in me. I'm… I'm so fucking relieved? Thanks," Sam says, he looks so tired, so vulnerable. I offer him a hug and he melts into me. 

"It's chill, I, you know, I love you. Kinda confused about how this goes back to us but I'm here for you, I'll be here for you until you're done with me," I tell him, giving my honest best at being comforting and sincere. I must succeed.

"No way, I'll never be done with you. You're mine," Sam says, voice so fierce I can imagine his eyes blazing Nova blue. "But, uh, I was gonna say stop breaking the law but I just realized you're not breaking any Asgardian laws. So, um. Sorry? Just keep on not getting caught, I guess?"

I laugh in disbelief. "Seriously? I still can't believe that I'm not actually a criminal. That's wild, Sam. Completely nuts."

"Welcome to Space," Sam tells me. Then yawns so big and wide I'm no little bit alarmed. I also yawn too. It's been a long day for the both of us.

" _ Flark _ I'm so  _ das't _ tired. Let's just rest? Can we, I mean? That's cool with you, snuggling up with me and passing out?"

"Absolutely, fuck, Sam. I still can't believe you want me. I'm so lucky, I've no idea why you like me, but I'll do  **anything** to make you happy. I'm abso-fucking-lutely delighted to cuddle you to sleep. But, uh, did you bring your pajamas? If not, I, you know-"

"Peter, I love you. But, I'm not wearing your dumb nerd pajamas. Grab me one of your shirts, I'll use that," Sam says. 

"That is just, so rude! Heroes these days, I swear. Offer them some nice  **adult** pajamas and they go and steal your shirt," I say, voice light. I'm tempted to literally give Sam the shirt off my back, but instead I dig around for a real winner. It's plain black but says in four screaming colors 'what part of deoxyribonucleic acid don't you understand' on it. I toss it to him innocent as can be and get in my own, very comfy, pajamas. 

Sam is right in the middle of pulling my shirt over his head and I suddenly can't resist the urge to pounce him and blow a raspberry against his perfect, cute tummy. He shrieks and giggles and kicks and flails. But he's not actually trying to get away from me. I'd been resisting that urge for so long, I just couldn't help but satisfy it when Sam gave me the perfect opening. I help him pull my shirt down and possessive satisfaction blindsides me. Seeing him in  **my** bed, wearing  **my** shirt feels so good and right. I pull him to me in a hug and kiss his neck.

"Villain, taking advantage of my one moment of weakness to attack," Sam says, but instead of rage or betrayal, he's playful and teasing. So I play along. With my best super cheesy villain laugh. Like mega cheese, Saturday morning cartoon here. Sam cracks up and joy warms me so suddenly it takes my breath away. Sam knows, now, that Peter Parker is really Spider-Man. And he's still here! He's still mine! 

Instead of saying anything relevant I just blurt out, "you make me so happy."

Sam gets all bashful and shy at that, but his quiet 'yeah, same' fills me so full of joy I'm in danger of floating away.

We snuggle up, but Sam seems a bit anxious. Or something. Then he finally says ”is it me? I swear I showered. Or maybe I'm just paranoid."

"Is what you? Mind reading is not a spider super power, sorry," I say, anxious.

"Oh, uh, the smoke smell," Sam says, sounding embarrassed. I heave out a sigh of relief.

"That's my sheets. Sorry, I usually just pass out on top of the bed after I'm done," I explain. Guess it's my turn to feel embarrassed, oops. 

"Glad I'm not crazy. Okay, good. Let's rest and figure everything out in the AM. Or PM probably, whatever," Sam chuckles, and it warms me deep down inside.

  
Sam falls asleep pretty quick after that, but I can't sleep. I'm exhausted, sure, but having Sam  **here** in  **my** bed. God. It's definitely doing things to me. Soft, dangerous things, too. Boners I could deal with, but knowing that Sam loves me even though he knows I'm Spider-Man… fuck. I'd never even hoped in my wildest dreams that I could have this. Really for real have this. I cry like an idiot, overwhelmed. Sam murmurs indistinct nothing sounds and shifts so we're even closer. Eventually, I even manage to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our evil, evil boys finally get an ending to their tale.

I wake up clinging to Sam in my own bed. I'm brain fuzzy with sleep and it takes me a bit to remember everything that had happened yesterday. Sam knows. Sam knows my secrets and is here, in my home, in my bed, wearing my shirt.  I'm awake, just like that.  Sam knows I'm Spider-Man. Sam knows I've known he's Nova since almost the start of us. I feel like I should explain further. At least repeat that it hadn't been until I saw his scars that I  **knew** . But Sam is still asleep. I'm not going to wake him up just for this. Besides, we're supposed to talk even more once he wakes up, I think.

Sam wakes up a little bit after me and I'm all anxiety and terror that still he's going to change his mind and leave me. He's  **Nova** for fuck's sake. But instead he smiles at me so soft and sleepy that I manage to at least hope this incredible, impossible thing between us will last a little bit longer. He pulls me down and kisses me and I melt into it. As long as Sam is willing to give me this then I'm taking every microsecond.  Sam seems… almost shy now. But that's fair, more than fair. Christ even if all we do for the rest of our lives is snuggle and kiss I'll count myself blessed. Eventually, we do get up and get ready to face the day. Over breakfast Sam starts talking about cosmic laws and I pay attention. I mean I'd listen anyways but this is something so important to him that just half listening would be a terrible thing to do.

"Like I said before, the most important Asgardian laws are to keep your oaths and to admit to killing someone if you did it. There's also a thing called a weregild, literally manprice, you've gotta pay out to any surviving dependents. It's basically to make sure they have a chance to survive for about a year afterwards. But that's like, waived if you're killing someone to protect Innocents. Definitely waived for us in the exact by Frigga herself. Asgard law is brutal, burning shit down isn't actually a crime. Crime like arson, I mean. There are totally ways that burning things  **could** be a crime, but that's again like, basically if you trap non-combatants in something and slaughter them. So I'm not too worried over you breaking that law," Sam says. While it's pretty damn hard to believe, I'm also full of too much warmth from Sam trusting me so casually. He knows I'm Spider-Man and he trusts me to only kill the bastards that deserve it. 

"Are you, is this serious?" I say, staring at him in disbelief. Sam shrugs all nonchalant, like this is all old news. I mean, I guess to him it is. But it's certainly a revelation to me! I blow out a breath, thinking. After a while I say, "Earth really isn't ready for Space."

"Yeah, I know, kinda why I'm Nova," Sam tells me with a handsome, wry smile.

"Yeah, Nova acting Prime was it?"

"Acting Nova Prime," Sam corrects me. But despite my anxiety saying otherwise he's not even annoyed at me.

"You're an acting head of state… but… correct me if I'm wrong here, you  **don't** have diplomatic immunity?" I attempt to clarify.

Sam blinks and looks like he'd never even thought about that. "Yeah… yeah I don't. Thor has diplomatic immunity, too. Even though he's the absolute ruler of Earth. He likes his subjects managing themselves and being independent."

"Why the dick don't you then?" I ask. I'm definitely pissed over this deliberate slight to my boyfriend!

"That's a really good question, Webs," Sam says. He's clearly thinking, dare I even hope, plotting something. I manage to clean up the remains of breakfast and set the dishes in the drying rack before Sam speaks again. "I definitely do need diplomatic immunity. This is going to be a pain but the sooner I get it the better. Will you be okay here without me?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, babe," I say, going for reassuring. Sam doesn't question me. His trust in me fills me with all kinds of giddiness. Sam pulls me into a very good embrace, and both of us get distracted with kisses for a while. Eventually, Sam leaves.

He might be gone a week or more. I have no idea how long it takes to get that kind of clearance or status or whatever it's called. But Sam surprises me by texting me around midnight and just, basically, well, checking in with me. I've never had this before. It's amazing. I remind myself to check in with Sam tomorrow, and wish him sweet dreams for tonight.

The week seems to fly by after that. I get with Flash and we go over the new info Sam had given me. I manage to tell him that Nova is working with Spidey now, even the official reason. Sam's explanation of Asgardian laws fresh in my mind. I know now that for sure he would never want me to lie for him. Especially over having killed someone. Flash is, well he's pretty adorably stoked actually. 

I should tell him that Sam and I are pretty serious now. I don't. I'm a coward and I know it. Instead I regale Flash with all the extra gory details of Nova's kills. Flash is as great a listener as ever. It's nice.

I remember to check in with Sam every night and once we even call. He keeps me on the phone for actual hours venting about all the bullshit he's having to go though. I offer as much comfort as I can. It feels completely insufficient but Sam is so grateful that I'm embarrassed for him and also pissed. It's stupid and selfish and I know that if his Earth team had treated him right then he'd never want me. But still! For such a kind and sweet man as Sam is to be so lonely is wrong!

I'm swinging through Midtown during the afternoon when ol misguided triple J starts ranting about my perfect boyfriend being granted the same diplomatic immunity as Thor. Sam hasn't messaged me yet so I can only assume he's still caught up in red tape. I flip and flourish and my spider sense screams just in time for me to dodge an arrow. 

Damn. Hawkeye is good, and usually far enough away that his own intent is washed out in the background hum of danger New York always has. Then I hear the tell tale whine of repulsors and I'm scrambling away from Iron Man. Shit. This is looking bad. The Avengers nearly never patrol in groups. Which means they must all be out spider hunting. My mouth runs off on autopilot even as I swing away. I need to lose them. With Sam gone I have literally no back up. Not that I'd ever had anything before. Yes, Flash is a good man, well good to me anyways, but he's not superpowered. He'd get killed into Flash Jam if he tried to help now.

Speaking of jam, I dodge Thor only to swing into a big green fist. Hulk does a good job of turning lil ol me into Spider jelly. I get back up, of course I do, but this isn't looking any better. Too many bones are broken and shifting. My body is balking and I'm way too damn slow. Not to mention that my Spidey sense is screaming so loud that it's getting had to tell where the threat is coming from.

The last thing I know for sure is Thor swinging his hammer and a bright, blinding light.

###  …

I wake up and have no idea where I am. Like, seriously, no idea. Not even kidnapped and in some shitty safehouse not knowing where I am. I'm inside some kind of bed-pod-prison thing that I've never even seen outside of science fiction. Not to mention I feel all loose and relaxed. But there's nothing muddling my thoughts. If it's a drug it's one I've never been dosed with before. When I push up to sitting the dome thing opens and my ears pop like the pressure just changed. My stomach churns but I'm not going to hurl. 

I stand up and yep, I'm naked, fucking great. Waking up naked with no idea where I am has historically been terrible. I pop my stingers and glance around. The bed thing I'd been laying inside of has a screen displaying information in a language I don't recognize. Then I hear hurried footsteps and turn toward them, ready to kill just on principal.

"Greetings, Man of Spiders—" 

"Spider-Man, hi. Yeah, where the fuck am I and how long was I out?" I interrupt.

I was not expecting a middle-aged looking lady in fucking silks and shit. She's dressed up like some bizarre luxury version of a medieval herb witch and looks flustered. But her relief is what keeps her alive. She looks me over as she answers. It's entirely clinically professional. "You are in the realm of Asgard. Your healing has taken three full cycles to complete. Please—" 

"Cycles? How about days, earth days. what's the conversion here? Like, samesy samesy? Three cycles is three days? Or like a cycle is a week or a month or basically how fucked is my schedule here?" I interrupt her yet again. Cycles and Asgard? I'd thought for sure that Thor had killed me back there. There'd been his hammer, and bright blue-white light. And so much pain. But I don't have time to rest and sift through my memories, I need to leave. And even though I will leave naked if I've gotta, there are other nurse people bringing me some clothes. Looks like I don't gotta. It's nothing like my Spidey suit, not skin tight for sure. It's soft red under clothes and some kind of lightweight chain armor. The armor isn't blue, it's not gold or silver either. It's charcoal grey-black. They have bracers and before I can protest or complain or rip them away they show me that there is an opening for my wrist spikes. That plus the Spider-Man spider on them convinces me that they aren't entirely terrible.

"I must offer my apologies. I am but a humble healer. I do not know of a time conversion for cosmic standard times into earth standard times. Please, rest." the head nurse lady says. She seems nice enough but like Hell am I sitting around on my ass doing nothing.

"Thanks, I'll pass, where's Sam, exactly?" I tell her.

"Nova Prime is currently indisposed. He is expecting you to remain here until his return." she informs me. Well isn't that just suspicious as anything.

"Huh. Is he now," I comment. The bracers don't have web-shooters and I'm pretty sure I remember them being crushed right alongside my wrist and spikes. I'll have to make more. In the meantime I guess this city boy will have to make do.

"I assure you it is so," she tells me, finally sounding frustrated instead of patient. 

"Cool cool. Which way did he go from here?" I ask, too bad any Looney Tunes references will be lost on these aliens. I crouch to test these pants, they're almost like tights but not exactly. They're comfortable and don't rip or even chafe. Damn, I'll have to find their cloth warehouse and jack me some of this. The shoes they gave me are more like my own little red booties. There's no trouble using my spider powers to keep myself stuck on something. It's not classic and it's not my latest suit, but it's also not bad.

"Please, Man of Spiders, remain here until Nova Prime returns. He won't be away for much longer now," Head Nurse says. But she's clearly used to dealing with hard headed assholes like me and sounds resigned.

I start scoping out the room in better detail, it's so high ceilinged it's offensive. And there are enormous gold support pillars. They're all decorated with scenes of, I guess, healing and shit. Speaking of gold, everything here is gleaming like it's at least gold plated. It's tempting to thieve it but it's also almost eye-strain inducing.

Footsteps echo and I spider my way up the nearest column. Head Nurse looks up at me and she definitely has dealt with assholes like me before.

It's Sam. Relief hits me so hard that I'm stunned. He's here! He's here and alive! And also wearing some kind of uniform that makes his already hot self look even hotter. His helmet is slung against his back, I guess even here with allies he wants to be ready to go. But he's wearing some kind of bitching gold diadem with fancy stars on it. Almost like the star on his helmet but I've no idea why they're different, or why there's three instead of the one.

"Now you wake up! Of  _ flarking _ course!" Sam starts talking as soon as he doesn't have to shout. His voice is amazing and soothes things inside of me that I'd not even realized had been ruffled. His boots gleam and reflect the gold so much I nearly can't tell that they're really black. Sam goes on, obviously oblivious to my mental assessments, "How are you feeling, Pete? Healing pods always make me wanna barf when it's done."

Ms. Head Nurse cuts in to give Sam all the boring details of my health since he'd been gone. By now Sam has reached my pillar. I creep down and he pulls me into a hug so tight that I'm pretty sure if I'd still been bruised up I'd be hurting. As is though, it's amazing and I hug him back. He smells just as good as I remember and I snuggle against his neck. His stiff collar and shoulders of his uniform jacket are surprisingly not itchy at all. It isn't like luxurious silk nonsense but the lack of itching as I cling to Sam is definitely appreciated.

When Ms. Head Nurse calls me 'man of spiders' yet again I interrupt.

"It's Spider-Man. I'm fine, I'm so beyond fine I'm peachy. Now Sam, love, babe, hun, Sammy Sammy fo fammy, how fucked is my schedule. Exactly. In Earth units please and thank you," I ramble into Sam's neck. I don't want to let go. I'm terrified that this is all some cruel torment and this peace and happiness will be yanked away to reveal the Hell that no doubt awaits me.

"About half a week, dear. Your schedule is fine," Sam says. But it's still not accurate enough for me. 

"Like two days half a week or three days, or what?" I press. Sam pulls me along with him to who knows where and I follow. His blue jacket looks great, it's the same blue as my pants. I wonder if it means anything here that we're wearing the same colors or if it's just a coincidence. I'm not wearing white like Sam's pants but I am in the same red of his undershirt.

"Well, more like three and a half days, honestly," Sam says with a deep sigh. I push away the twist in my chest at how tired Sam looks. It wasn't my fault I was hurt!

"That's damn near a week! I've gotta get back! Preston and the kids and Flash must be worried sick. God. Fuck," I rage. I pop my spikes and wonder when I'd relaxed enough to let them back inside my forearm.

"Peter, breathe. I'll give you the long version. Calm down and  **breathe** ," Sam tells me, so concerned that I almost do calm down. But how the hell can I be calm now?!

"Start talking," I snarl. Sam gestures me into a set of rooms. I jerk my chin and he leads me in. When his sad expression cuts me worse than a knife I remind myself that no matter how much I love him I have responsibilities to my kids and Flash. They have to come first.

"Okay," Sam says, subdued and quiet, there's seating but neither of us sit, he goes on, "I don't know how much you remember of the fight. God. They fucked you up, nearly managed to turn you into  _ flarking _ toothpaste. Christ, I should have  _ flarking _ messaged you as soon as I got the  _ flarking _ assemble call but they never tell us  **why** we're assembling and I had so much bullshit to get through still even after getting approval.  _ Flark _ I'm sorry, not super relevant now. Right, when I got to New York everything was a mess. And when I got to the site I didn't have time to chat. Thor was swinging to finish it and kill you. So I got between you-"

"Hold up. I remember Thor. I mean it's all kinda hectic and blurry but I definitely remember that the last thing I saw was a hammer and bright light. You were the bright light?" I blurt out. I'm horrified and blown away. I've never, not once, ever thought anyone would do something like that for me. A killing blow. From Thor. Jesus Christ.

"I must have been, since you're still here," Sam says. He's probably trying to tease or something but he just looks relieved and pathetic. He took a deathblow for me. Sam took a hit that he knew was enough to kill me. I could have lost him and never even known!

"So yeah, after  **that** I explained to Thor what was up and he totally had our backs," Sam goes on speaking, "like, no duh, his mom is the one that gave us the mission or quest or whatever you wanna call it. And, well, there was words had between the Avengers and Thor and me so now Earth is being granted consideration for the honor of joining The Council of the All Father. Which is to say that I'm now officially a former Avenger and also properly recognized as the Nova Empire's acting head of state. So my household is now diplomatically immune and I've assigned my best Nova to keep your kids and my family safe. You've never mentioned Flash though, does he need a guard?"

Sam still looks more tired than anything, but the offer to guard Flash is definitely appreciated. Still, I tell him, "No. Flash is good. He can take care of himself. I mean I do need to let him know I'm okay but uh… wow. That's. That's a whole lot of… Of  **everything** ."

"Yeah. Tell me about it," Sam says. He's even too tired to sound teasing or playful. God, I did this to him. He took a fucking killing blow for me and sent his freaking police,or, or guards, or whatever the fuck Nova are. He sent them to keep my family safe. I love him so much and I definitely don't deserve any of this. I'm a selfish coward and instead of holding him or ending this I stand here and keep talking.

"So, what's up with the threads," I say, desperate for a change of topic and terrified of falling apart while I process everything.

"Huh? Oh, this is my official Acting Nova Prime crap. I'm supposed to be in the Nova Prime helmet but," Sam sighed and shrugged.

"The last Nova Prime took it with him to save the universe. I remember," I tell him. His smile is too tiny and too tired but it's also real and just for me. I reach for him and his relief is so obvious that I think a lump of coal could see it. He falls into me and holds me again. 

"God. I thought I was too late. You were so still, so broken," Sam chokes out. Then starts bawling. Oh God. I am so bad at this kind of thing. I hold him close and try not to panic. I have no idea what I'm telling him. Panic is a go, apparently. But I must comfort Sam just fine, because he doesn't send me away. When he's done, he's doing the absolutely pitiful hiccupping breathing thing. God. This is all my fault. All of it.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Sam tells me when he's finally got himself under control. He looks so broken and earnest and everything good and heroic and not even close to what I deserve.

"I have no idea why. I've hurt you so much, so badly," I admit. Fuck, I'm the one trembling and hiccup-crying now.

"It's okay, hey, Pete, Webs, it's okay. I love you," Sam tells me, holding me close now. He keeps holding me and it's my turn to breakdown. I can't stop apologizing, can't stop crying, can't stop feeling Too Much. But Sam soothes me through it all, solid and real and eventually I manage to run out of tears. It feels like it's been years but it's probably only been half an hour.

"I love you, Sam. As long as you'll have me I'm by your side," I tell him. Sam looks at me like I'm not a cowardly villainous piece of trash. Looks at me like I'm something wonderful. Hell, maybe I am. He's literally the worst liar I know.

"I love you so much, Peter. You're stuck with me for as long as you'll have me," Sam says. He holds my face then and kisses me so soft and slow and sweet. Like he doesn't even care I'm still a freshly cried wreck. Though I guess I really can't speak because he's also still kinda snotty and just cried too and here I am.  I'm Spider-man. I kill pedophiles and that's not a crime. I don't know what the future has in store for me, for us, but I do know I'm hanging onto Sam and everything he represents with everything I've got. 

The one thing I do know for sure: if we can make it through this, then we can make it through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to take the Asgardian Law stuff directly from ancient Norse when I could. Don't get your ancient history from fanfic, plz. 
> 
> So the 'fic' that this was based on (published as Toxic) was an RP between me and a dear friend. We had always intended to end it with a happy ending for our boys but we just never got around to RPing it. We also wanted to whump on Peter before the happy ending as one does, and I loved the image of Sam blocking Mjolnir being the last thing Peter saw until he regained consciousness. I do hope that this ending is satisfying for everyone that'd been reading these two evil idiots since Toxic. Thank you.


End file.
